3 years ago December 26th I had the worst sv or fp I ever had in my life.
It happened FAST and was violent and unstoppable.

I handled it but it made my emet worse. The first couple of years after I
didn't worry so much because of the old lightening striking twice thing.
But now it feels like my grace period is over.

I've been sort of sipping Coke all day - before I was n* and I think that's
probably why I feel off, too much caffeine. But I do feel n* and the
anniversary thing is freaking me out. So I needed to vent.

I can remember every detail of that night, you know? It's like a bad tape
that plays over and over. So far the EMDR hasn't made it go away,
although I've had some calmer times overall.

Also, there are times when I feel absolutely AWFUL - nauseous, achey,
horribly anxious. If I could bet money at these times I would swear I was
sick. And then it passes, like within an hour or 3. So I feel like I can't
trust my own symptoms and body which I hate.

Now is one of those times, although I don't feel as bad as I sometimes
have. I just hope it doesn't come down to full blown anxiety, in which
case I'll have to take a Zofran and an Ativan. And I hate having to do that.

Thanks for listening to my rambling...

Sienna