Hey Thanks for the advice so far


Gosh no Clare isn't my girlfriend, she is just a girl I know, barely know really, who is friends with Michelle and I and offered to put us up for a week. In theory there are 2 other friends I could stay with if I need to while I'm there but I want to try and make it if I can.


There is definately no cancelling this trip since Michelle is coming from Canada to see Clare and I lol I think thats what is freaking me out the most you know? The thought that I CANT get out of it.


Amber I never thought of it that way, that people are around their sick kids and don't get it. That's a very good way of looking at it, thank you. The nerves about the whole trip are really kicking in already and I just don't know how to cope. I don't want to cancel my trip anyway because I never want to give into this fear but it can be so so difficult sometimes you know? Add that to the fact I don't have a job right now and some place might want me to start next week and I'm just a big ball of stress.


I think I need to try some kind of relaxation exercise every night to try and get me a bit more chilled out about things. At the end of the day this is something I really want to do, and I'm kind of detirmined not to let emet get me but it's so hard to stop the thoughts sometimes.