HORRIBLE Experience!!!

[NCsmile6]

Panic/Emet- 100


Neha- 0


That's the score! [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]


I had a HORRIBLE evening you guys, and you are the ONLY people on the planet that will be able to understand!! And it was Canada Day too!


Here's what happened. I was at a friend's house and we all decided to go watch the movie "Cars." Well all was fine until the previews came on. (The bad part doesn't start yet, but this isn't a very emet-pretty thing.) Anyway, one of the previews for the moviewas "How to Eat Fried Worms"--just as disgusting as it sounds!! The preview was HORRID! I had to cover my eyes throughout the entire preview! (*Warning to those who are going to watch "Cars" just plug your ears or close your eyes when they start talking about a boy in a new school*) Just disgusting!! Why would anyone want to watch a movie like that? UGH!!! Anyway, I recovered from that preview and all was well for a while.


[b]The movie started, and I started to feel nauseaus. I thought: Well, I probably had a little bit too much to eat (two pieces of lasagna and cake), so it was understandable with my acid reflux and everything. But the nausea only got worse and worse and worse! So you can imagine I'm panicking by this time. I kept thinking back to the time when I watched "Freaky Friday" and how I had a HORRIBLE panic attack throughout the entire movie. But I stuck it out that time, and I thought I could this time too.Anyway, the anxiety and nausea was reaching that magnitude VERY FAST!!! It was apparent I was having a panic attack, but I HATE HATE HATE having one in public!!! I know you all feel the same way. I feel so much more out of control when it's in front of people! Luckily the movie theater was dark, but still. I dug my fingernails into my skin and started doing all sorts of crapto prevent v*******. (I guess we all have our different weird defense mechanisms, right?) Anyway, I was hoping, praying my friend next to me didn't see me freaking out! What would she think I was doing with my fingernails in my skin? I dug so deep that I hit the bone. Anyway, that didn't work. And I wasn't able to deep breathe, because I felt like I was about to gag. I even prayed that I wouldn't v**** (How shallow does that sound? But I was desperate, and I pleaded to just get through this one time without v****** and without making a fool out of myself).So I kept saying to myself: "Stick it out Neha, in a while, this will all be over." and "You've gotten through this before, and you can and will get through it now." and "Panic attacks won't kill you!" and "You probably won't v*****, it's just the panic talking." But all of that self talk didn't work. The more I tried to calm myself down, the worse I felt, and soon I couldn't stand it anymore. Everything just came to this big rush type feeling, and I REALLY felt like I was going to be sick in thetheater, so Igot up out of my chair and stepped overseveral people to getto the stairs to get out of the theater. (We were on the second to the top row). But I realized that we were in one of those small theaters that didn't have an exit upstairs, so I went ALL the way down the stairs and in front of EVERYONE in the movie to get out of the theater because the door was on the opposite side. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO embarrasing!! One guy gave me a really dirty look. And lord know's what my friends were thinking! I pretended to hold my pocket like someone was calling me or somthing. Anyway, I was parched and tried to drink some water from the fountain (something I would never do, but I was desperate.) Anyway, I felt like gagging after I drank the water, so I stopped after like two sips. I went into the bathroom where they have a couch and just sat there and started to cry. I knew at thatpoint I wasn't going to be sick

[suze]

Sorry to hear about this, sounds very distressing. I don't know what to say really, except it seems that movie theatres are your trigger for a panic attack. I'm sure many of us have them - there used to be a road that I couldn't walk down without panicking! And I'm sure that movie theatres make many of us feel uncomfotable, they certainly do me.


I think you need to get yourself back in there asap, but this time, go at a time when you're feeling OK, and sit near the exit (I always do!). Sometimes knowing you can escape without the world watching you freak out reduces the tendency to panic. I know exactly how you feel, my biggest fear is v* in public so I always plan my exit route as soon as I arrive! And if there isn't an easy one, I'm guaranteed to feel very uncomfortable.


Try to move on this, it's just one of those things that happens to emets from time to time. You survived it, no matter how unpleasant. You must promise yourself though that you won't let this put you off doing anything - that's a slippery slope moving in one direction only! Good luck and I hope you're feeling better

[californiagirl]

You're not a brat, you had a scary situation, and paniced. You couldn't help it, because if you could have avoided feeling so bad, you would have. Unfortunately we can't predict when and where panic attacks happen, but the way we handle them is important and is what gets us through them. Even though it was a nightmare night for you, you should be very proud of yourself for going back into the theater and staying for the rest of the movie. You handled it thee best way you could, and got one step further than you did last time it happened to you. Don't be so hard on yourself--you took a big step!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Edited by: californiagirl

[hippychick]

Oi missy! I'm 22 and I still panic sometimes and have to leave a place, what are you trying to say[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img] It's really really scary when it just hits that way out of no where and even though you know it is anxiety and not real nausea you can't talk yourself down, but I think you did an amazing job. You went out, took a breather and then? You went back in!!!!!!!!! You could have let your emet win and stayed outside but you didn't. You went back in where you'd just had an awful panic attack, gosh do you know brave that is? The thing that worries me is this association that is getting built up cinema = panic. That's not gonna be good. Do you have one friend you trust if you panic? Or who will at least be sympathetic? I think maybe you should go to the movies with her and prove to yourself that you can do it. Don't let this set you back babe, sometimes sh*t just happens out of nowhere. But you delt with it and carried on b/c you are a very brave girl.

[kellybean]

I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't matter how old you are, you are still going to have panic attacks. I think you did really well in your situation, and you were brave to stay!! You fought back, and that's very important!!!

[marieb73]

Panic attacks are not age-ist, unfortunately.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] They don't "get better" as we grow older, we just get better at spotting them as they come.

I love going to the movies but hardly ever do anymore because for some reason, the darkened theatre and huge screen and loud noise seems to send me into a raging panic attack. I freaked out during Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban at an IMAX theatre. We had perfect seats, perfectly centered, and I almost considered trying to get out (our local IMAX theatre is very tight seat wise, so I would have had to crawl over lots of people and disrupt them). I missed about 45 minutes of the movie trying to manage my emet and my attack. It was awful.

You fought it well though, and you went back in, which is a HUGE accomplishment. So stop beating yourself up and instead congratulate yourelf on going back in there after such an attack! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[NCsmile6]

Thank you SOOOOOOOOO much everyone!! I feel a lot better after a good night's rest. You know, even after a panic attack is gone, you still feel kinda crappy. But I slept it off.But thank you for your encouraging words and support!


About the age thing, what I meant to say was that I was disappointed that I didn't learn anything since age 14 and after being in therapy for 7 years, I thought I would've dealt with it differently, but I had the same reaction to leave/runaway..but you're right. At least I didn't leave and stayed there this time! I would've had no choice though, because my ride was in the theater! AndI didn't want them to worry and not enjoy the movie. I would've told somebody, but again, I was too embarrased. I don't think anybody knew about my anxiety issues nor would have understood. I mean, I was laughing my head off in the car. Fine one minute, sick the next. I wouldn't know how to explain it to them. So I thought it was best to keep it to myself--which I usually do unless my mom or dad or brother is there. But anyway, I am so glad it's over.


I think you guys are right: I should go back to the movies and kill that association. It isn't everytime I go that I have that panic attack, but it's still happened 3 times (years apart though, and all those times I was with friends.) I know that probably doesn't have anything to do with it though, because panic can strike anywhere no matter what I'm doing. But it would be good exposure to go back to the movies and face it again.


I do have a couple of friends who know about my prone to panic, and I did have a panic attack in a restaurant in front of my friends once. I was forced to tell them then because I had ordered all this food and couldn't eat anything and felt just horribly sick. But they were so sweet about it! One of my friends is a psych major, so she understood what was going on.


I just don't like telling people, you know?Unless I'm really close to them or am in a situation where I have no choice. Anyone else feel that way?


Thanks again for the wonderful words everyone!! I knew you guys would understand!

[donna1216]

Neha, I am so so sorry!!! I don't suffer from panic attacks like that ( I do suffer minor anxiety ataacks), but my sister does and I know they are just awful!! I am so sorry you had to go through that, but hey, you made it through the rest of the movie!! That is a big step, I think! You didn't LEAVE!!![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[momof2]

You are not even going to believe this but I had one of my worst panic attacks at that same movie! I took my 4 year old son to see it and thank God my husband came. I left the movie, waited in the car for 2 hours because I was so embarassed, and then made up some ridiculous lie about how I my contact ripped and I had to go home to get a new one for my son! That broke my heart.





You are definately not alone.

[samara's on tv]

Girl I'm 21 too and I still have panic attacks and that's basically why I don't really have any friends. My only two friends are now in different states so I only talk to them on the phone so if I DO have a panic attack while talking to them they can't see me. I go to the movies alone so if I have a panic attack in the theater then I can just get up and leave. The last time I went to a movie with a friend was last year to see The Ring TwO and I flipped out and had a panic attack but I didn't leave the theater I just sucked it up and delt with it. I've seen movies since then with my sister, but I feel very comfortable around my sister so I don't have panic attacks with her.


I know how you feel, it totally sucks! Sometimes the panic comes out of absolutely NOWHERE. But it does seem like movie theaters may be a trigger for you, maybe because lots of people are there. I don't know. I tend to just ignore my panic attacks and stick them out but I can't blame you for wanting to run. I used to do that all the time, now I have breathing exersizes that I do to calm me down. I know I've been told NOT to focus on my breathing during a panic attack but it's REALLY hard not to, so instead I take control of my breathing. I'm sorry you've had such bad expereinces.


~Monica

[tcsarah]

I have had quite a few major panic attacks at the cinema. One time was one of the worst ones ever. I was on a first date with a guy and had got so nervous about the date my stomach was churning so badly and I was convinced I was gonna throw up. I was trapped in the middle of a row and the theatre was full. I sat there throughout the whole film shaking (my date must have felt me shaking it was so bad and I was convincedhe would thinkI was a weirdo!), heart thudding, wanting to sob, wanting to run away, but I know ifI'd left I wouldn't have been able to go back in. I never dared contact that guy again after that, and I really liked him. It really got me down.


Itdefinitely helps to sit at the end of a row or near the exit. You just feel more comfortable knowing if you need to make a swift exit you can.


Panics always get you down more when you have not had them fora while. You start thinking (well hoping!)that maybe you will never have one again, so when it does happen again it's so upsetting and demoralizing. And it hits you like a ton of bricks! You just have to try and focus on any positives that come out of it, like you stayed at the theatre and even went back in - that takes a lot of guts!

[sage]

Neha honey- you're way too hard on yourself! Although its' easy for someone else to say that was "just" a panic attack...we all know what it's like and it is indeed traumatic. Probably the stupid worms trailer (I've seen that too - yetch) is what triggered the panic, although you may be getting a trigger of movie theatres themselves. I would suggest that you go to the movies on a matinee, by YOURSELF, and sit near the exit. Go to a movie you don't give a damn about, and if you start to feel this panic rising up, then walk out and breathe deeply in the hallway until it dissipates somewhat or entirely, then go back in. Keep doing that until you don't fear the panic attacks anymore.


I can totally relate to the whole incident, including the crying and feeling like a failure.Even last summer I was in the back of a hot car with my family in Nova Scotia and all of a sudden there it was - panic creeping up. I couldn't believe it and I was distressed. I said nothing, and breathed through it and it dissipated quickly and that was the end of that. But I'm 47 years old and completely "cured" of this, so why should you beat yourself up at 21? The truth is that our brains are "programmed" to panic way easier than other people. The only thing we can do is to learn the skills to work through the panic attacks when they happen, and chalk it up to experience. I haven't panicked since then, and that's been 13 months. One day you'll live freely like this too.


Take care!

[Hale]

Awwwww Neha. I am sorry you went through that but you proved what a strong person you are by dealing with and staying. You have come such a long way from the girl that joined this forum, and it isn't a setback it's just a little blip.

[SimplyMe]

Aw, sweetie. I'm so sorry. It happens to all of us, 14, 21, 30, 40, and on and on. Panic attacks happen, we aren't all that graceful at the time but we get thru it. You stuck it out by staying at the theater and should be proud of yourself for that. I hate that feeling when you have to keep up for people being around you. But ya know what screw them. If they are your friends they will understand. As for strangers ... who cares. hehe easy to say I know. Anyhow, I think we've all been thru similar experiences and while it sucks and of course is at the most inopportune time ... we get thru ... we go on and we prove ourselves the next time. You're so much better than you were when I first came on here. Don't let this set back make you question yourself or feel bad about yourself. You're an amazing young woman who happens to get panic attacks ... you aren't your emet or anxiety or ocd. Hang in there and know that you can call me ANYTIME! Much love!

[princessmel]

Hey Neha:


I'm sorry u had to go through that. I think Sage is right. U are being too hard on yourself. Quit beating yourself up, girl. After reading the whole story, which sounds tramautic and probably was, sounds more like a triumph for you to me. BECAUSE YOU STAYED!!!! Remember that. U had a horrible attack, but stayed and finished the movie as terrible as you felt. Hope u are feeling better.


Mel[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[andee]

Hi, just want to tell you that I have been in that situation too many times for comfort. It is frightening and traumatic. I have had it happen at movies, malls, restaurants (the worst place because you just ate!), and even in bed at night. Just keep trying to tell yourself that it was only panic and you are stronger than it. Take care!!!</font>

[classycaro]

I know what you mean when you say you don't like telling people. I don't really either.I guess I sort of feel like if I tell them they will have the "it's all in your head, get over it" reaction. Even though they are my friends and would try to understand without having that reaction, they can't really understand it without having gone through it.

[hanarky]

neha yoiure exactly the same age as me.
I produce the posters for the go trains.. we did the cars posters as well
i was 14 when i saw girls and boy/ WORST MOVIE IN THE WORLD BTW//...
remebr eating popcorn then and the stuff got stuck in my tonsiles.. eww i
almost gaged but washed it down.
I know exactly hw you feel i have these pnaic attacks a;;l the time.. i just go
tused to them..
Do you know whats the best cure (temporary)?
to find a person thats got emet worse off than you. I met a guy n a dating
site i think hes registered here..and hes got it bad.. so i try to help him as
much as i can. AN he actually encourages me to thin kthat i am getting over
it cause hes so proud of me doing better than him.

[josie]

Im 35,...and remember saying at a young age,..10,11,14,16,18,25....etc,...when I get older, this will go away,...well it hasn't. Im glad Im not the only one who inflicts pain on theirself to keep from V**. I claw my chest and neck, and pinch my lip. I have learned, the longer you stay in a situation that you know is related to panic,...the worse it gets. I know when it starts and I immediatly start my defenses....taking my medication,...getting out of where I am,....and distracting myself........





Your not alone





Samantha

[sunshine16]

Oh my Neha.. that's a terrible experience. But I've been there, I know. They just happen to pop up in the worst, unexpected place; and there is really no way to conceal them as hard as you may try. I've had a couple at school, the last in June, but my best friend and boy friend were extremly sweet about it (they know a tad bit about my anxiety, my boyfriend more than my friend) and he bought me water, she tried distracting me, coaching me. It made me feel extremly fortunate, and reassured that there are people who may not understand first hand, but do in some way, and truly care about you, and what you are going through. You cannot forget that, Neha! We love you, they love you.


But I must say.. good for you for gathering enough courage to still stick it out. It is an embarrassing experience, each time I have one, (and even when I don't, sometimes when I'm just down) I feel like everyone sees me as an utter freak. Neha, although we may think this, we must know that this isn't so, as each has their own trouble, and no one is 'normal' as they may seen.


Take care of yourself! (It's been a while since we've talked!)
Love,
Laura.

[NCsmile6]

OH WOW!!! Thank you everyone SOOOO much for your responses!!! Again, I can't tell you how much it means to me!! I love you guys! I don't know what I'd do without you! You're always so supportive and encouraging!! I am very blessed to have you all!!


*HUGS*


Looking back, I know that I was too hard on myself. The panic attack was not my fault, and I did all thatI could to deal with it, and I think I did pretty well at that, now that I think about it. I did go back inside the theater instead of running away like every instinct in my body wanted to. So that's a positive right there! I just wish panic attacks weren't so unexpected and so sudden. It's like one moment you're fine and the next, you're not!And there is no way to predict when they are going to happen either! You can have periods of stability when you're fine and on cloud nine (I didn't mean for that to rhyme lol) and then suddenly you fall flat on your face! Then again, that's life isn't it?


I would've like to have told my friends, but it didn't ocurr to me that it would happen or that I would be in that situation, because like I said, it was so unexpected. I was also worried about what they would think. I worry not only that they'll think less of me or think I'm weird or something, but also that they'll do something to make me panic some more. Does that make sense? Like I'm afraid if I told someonethat I was having a panic attack and they knew about my phobia and all,that they would constantly ask me if I was okay and if I felt sick, which is very sweet, but it would make me even more scared and nervous. I guess what I'm saying is I'm one of those people who likes to be alone during a panic attack. I don't want anyone to talk to me, try to comfort me, etc. I know that sounds very rude and selfish, but sometimes having other people know and try to help only stresses me out more. I hope that made sense lol. I don't know how else to explain it. I guess I like to ride out panic attacks alone is what I'm saying, because I feel pressure from others. Does that make sense? (I know that paragraph was full of run-ons! HAHA!)


But it is SOOO comforting to know that I am not the only one out there and that you guys can identify with me! It is certainly not a pleasant experience, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone!


Thank you guys soooo much again for being there for me as always!!!


I DID go back and see Cars with my mom a second time, becuase I wanted to face it again, and I did great. I didn't panic, and I was just fine. But unfortunately our experience wasn't the greatest. But for an entirely different reason. The movie stopped about 15 minutes before the endand my mom never got to see the ending. That's the first time that's happened to me. AMC felt really badly and they gave us all free movie passes though, so that was nice, but still. The ending was soooo cute! At least I didn't panic though!


Another positive: I also went to an Indian movie yesterday with my parents, and if you know Indian movies, you know they are notoriously long (3 hours plus an intermission in between.) And I was perfectly fine then too! No panic or nausea! I'm going to go see a movie later this week with my friend, and I hope that goes well too. Anyone know if The Devil Wears Prada has any v* scenes?


Edited by: NCsmile6