Another baby?

[zane2673]

Well, my baby meter seems to be in high intensity since around May when I saw one of my friends with her unexpected third child. I've been thinking about possibly having another child ever since. I swore I was done after having my daughter who's now 4. My mother and mother in law both think I have the perfect family. Each of the kids have their own rooms and are both at a age that they more independent. I recently started working full time again second shift to get some bills down so I could go back to part time when my son goes into 1st grade in 07. I'm 32 and my husband will 39 this year. I know he would love another child he is always saying it.


Anyway, my dilemma is would it be hard on my 1st two. My daughter especially relishes being the "baby". Plus, ultimately someone would wind up sharing a room until they were old enough to go into the spare room now used as a playroom on my 1st floor. Then of course there's the whole emet thing. As you may have read yesterday my daughter was ill. I feel I handled it better than usual but still was plagued with a degree of aniexty. I wonder if I'm strong enough to wait out three people getting ill instead of two. Plus, I still have all the baby stuff, I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I guess it's my brain saying by parting with this your saying your done with that part of your life of not having anymore children. My daughter is going to preschool 3 days a week this year and my son is going into Kindergarten he was in a readiness program last year. I was home a few days during the day this summer without them and I was beside myself withwhat to do with my time.


So if I got pregnant in the next couple of months my son would be seven and my daughter would be 5 by the time I had the baby. Is this to much of an age gap am I just asking for trouble? Am I thinking of having another child because of some kind of empty nest syndrome with the two of them now in school?


Sorry for the rambling any input would be appreciated it. Thanks!!

[kate1966]

OH my....well, not to sound discouraging to you or anything, and of course it's your own choice...but i have 2 boys...16 and 13...and i am glad i didn't have anymore now...of course i am 40 now, so it's alittle diff. But i am so happy now, they are soooo independant and now i have time for myself....FINALLY!!! Now that may sound selfish, but i have spent 16 yrs for my kids, and my kids alone....i put all my life into them, and now i am glad to have plenty of me time....But it's all your choice....i know my emet has gotten soooooo much better since they are older...so that helps. I did think i wanted another baby for a while, but then i got back into reality when i got a baby girl niece, who's enough for anyone to handle... But really whatever your choice is, i'm sure it will be the right one for you and your family. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[babygap5]

I wish I had some advice, but all I can offer is some kind words. Yes, you may have the perfect family now, why rock the boat right? Your family will still be perfect with the addition of the 3rd. I think you should sit down with your hubby and find out his feelings. If he is all for it, I say go for it. Your kids are old enough where they should be able to help out with the baby and would therefore accept the baby more. I know, i'm not a mommy yet, and what I'm saying may not be true all the time, but I think that they will enjoy being the big brother & big sister to a new addition.


I think that despite your emet you are still willing to grin and bear it for the sake of having children and that is a huge step for you in fighting this emet. Also, great way to handle your daughter, even though you were anxious on the inside, you didn't freak out.


Sorry for the long post, I just think that if you and hubby agree to have another, all will work itself out.

[cmatijevich]

I am going through the same thing! My daughter is about to turn 4 and my husband is away so she'd be 4 or possibly 5 when i had another. We only have her but we had her nevery young so we are worried about the age gap....like how long it will take to have some time to ourselves you know? Well i guess i should say that i worry lol my husband is all for it. My advice to you is that if you feel strongly about having another....go for it!!!! I have no clue how you cope with worrying about two getting ill...i'm sure you can handle 3...us emet moms are strong having to face our fear so often.

[zane2673]

Thanks, guys!! If I'm gonna start it wouldn't be until October of this or next. My husband doesn't know how I've been feeling lately. I know he'd start planning immediately as soon as it came out of my mouth. I have a lot to think about and a lot of pros and cons to go through, but your points of view our helping me grapple with my own misgivings. Thanks again!

[Hale]

I think you are more likely to regret Not having another child than having one. My mum had 2 children but she really wishes she had 4 now its too late.

[spilled_milk]

About the age gap...it's not too huge. A lot of my friends have brothers or sisters who are four or five years older and younger than them, and sometimes it's good because there is not as much fighting over things, as they are in different stages. My friend is sixteen and has a three year old brother...i wouldn't reccommend having children that far apart. But, I say that if you want a child you should make sure that it is well planned, and then go for it. As Hale said, you are more likely to regret not having another than having another. My parents thought about having another child when I was five, then decided not too, and really regretted it by the time that I was ten. Now i'm an only child.


Good luck with whatever you decide!


<3 Anya--

[daffodil]

I think you should talk to your husband, and decide between the two of you if another child is something you both want. I'm sure if you decide to go for it, your kids would adjust. I have two, and may have more in the future. Mine are 3 and 1. So I am kind of in the same boat, of trying to decide. I want to work on some of my issues before I get pregnant again, but it makes me sad to think of not having any more. I wish you luck in your decision making.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]