Sad thing is, I dont have an answer for either of those questions. ive
had it as long as I can remember, even when I was so tiny in school, I
remember shaking and running away when someone was ill. Recently after
therapy I suddenly realized when I was little, one or two particular
incidents I was sick, I remember apologizing profusely to my parents
over and over, although they really werent put out by me being sick or
anything. Especially the one and only time in my life I was sick on the
floor because my mom was in the restroom, I apologized like CRAZY and
cried and cried... but that's all I know. My actual panic attacks, I
think started when I moved here at age 10 with my parents. In my first
school downstate, everyone was friends and I never had any enemies or
people calling me names. When I moved up here, everyone was snotty and
mean, and they just completely tore me apart. Id come home crying every
day, and at night Id wake up, sit bolt upright on the couch shaking and
sweating, and my mom would stare at me, both of us terrified and not
knowing what was happening to me. I felt sick. She told me if I felt
sick not to fight it. But I wasnt sick, I was simply panicking. We went
to the doctor several times. If the IDIOTS had figured it out like they
should have (lets see, waking up at night, shaking and sweating..) I
may have been able to get treatment as a child and gotten over this.
But no, they tested me for blood sugar, it came out fine, and they said
I DUNNO and sent us home. From about age 12 to age 16 the panic was
rare and I was never sick. But in 9th grade I got a stomach bug and
after that my panic skyrocketed to what it still is today. Ive been
sick probably 3-4 times since then due to norwalk and coming off panic
meds too fast, as well as panicking myself too badly until I was sick
from it. And I am of course not cured
yet. I wonder if I ever will be.
Edited by: chibi