My story....

[tom25]

First of all I introduce myself. Im not very skilled in english so.....[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Im Tom 25yers oldfrom Poland a "very happy" country someware beetwen:Germany, Czech Republic, Ukraine...Nevermind.....



Today Im skinny men I meenalmostscaryskiny!
My weight is 51kg end 177cm tall ---113/5.10

My phobia is constantlygetting worse and worse, im suffer about 12 or more years I don't remember exacly haw long but a last2 years is almast constant terror. I feel emetophobia completly ruined my life. I wosn't able to start university, job etc becousemy socialphobia, agoraphobia and emetophobia. As somebody of you know this combination is like positive feedback loop. For instance im unable to eat at restaurant, I hate beeing in craudy places, cinemas, supermarketswhere is no easy escape route. In such situation I automaticly get panic atack end feel nauseus i know it isnt real nausea but ONLY anxiety...... I supuse emetophobia in my case is prabobly lerned reaction to such situations.


Two years ago i had viral infection rely violent (lots of v*)but thank goodit wasshort. It was insane every turn of my had even very verysmallendincollosal n* endv*....Since then my emetophobia started to develop even worse.
NawImnauseated almast every day especially in the evening if I ate same solid consistencyfood like meat, bred, chese etc. Afterhalfhour i start to feelhoribble fullnes and sometimespanic attackdepending haw bad i fell.

I take antidepresants fluoxetine 40mg for over half year it waspreety good (but stil light yers from normal) , buuuuuuuut few days ago itseems to stop working completly!!! Naw Im devastated 3 days of constat fear, almast unable to eat. I havealsomatoclopramide but it dosen't working formy apetite, fullnes, nausea....
Only thing i can do naw is taketranxene for anxiety.



Tomorow I will have same medical tests........I heard about thing colled gastroparesis when your stomache empty its content very very slowly causing nausea and feeling of fulness after meals. Its seems logical for me butas far as i know its balck scenario becouse this conditionits very hard to treat In sevre cases rest of live on feeding tube [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

[katiepool129]

Hi,

Welcome to the site. Sorry you seem to be having such an awful time of it lately. Doesn't sounds very pleasant at all. I hope you can get over some of your fears, even the smallest things. We are al here to help each other and support one an other. Hope you find the site helpful, i knowi have when there's been times i've felt totally helpless.

Katie

[tootpla]

Welcome Tom! I joined this site a few weeks ago and I have found it very helpful! Everyone here is so supportive!

[xxsophiaxx]

aww, welcome Tom! feel free to tell us more....

[1scareddj]

Welcome Tom!! I just joined not that long ago and this site has helped me A TON!!!!

[tcsarah]

Welcome to the group, Tom!


I'm so sorry you are suffering so much right now. I understand what it's like to suffer from not only emetophobia, but agoraphobia and social phobia too, as I'vebeen pretty bad with all three in the past.


Please let us know how your tests go.

[tom25]

Hi again


Well today i feel slightly better i wake up end imidiently ate some sweet loaf??? with butter andhot teaI don't know exaclythe name in english enyway itsshape looks like a moon[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]
I think that procedure is good if you thinking to much about eating.Becouse youare still letargicand its work a little at last for me. I think there is no time to build significiant anxiety. Anyway i come back to takemoderate dose 10 mg of tranxene once daily since last sunday it help a little. It has very long lasting effect more than 24h if not more so you don't need take it very often. My psychiatrist told me is much safer than xanax or other short acting benzos becouse of very long action make it easy to withdrawl after longer use. I never addicted to it.


Naw i must tapper fluoxetine from 40mg to 20mg to swich to another ssri. After experiences withthem(elierI tookcitalopram)im naw very sceptical to ssri antidepressants. Of corse they work for anxiety but seems not forever......arghhh


Very goodthing abaut fluoxetine andcitalopramis that I never experienced n* and V* side effects (only anxiety worsening for about 3 weeks or month) , but sexual side efects arestrong, sometimes shaking hands and single involontary movmentsin hands, feet veryhard to describe.......hmmmlike single electricstimulation impulse,but not that often and only on fluoxetine. When for instanceyour stomache feels badyou don't care as much as used to be of corse if they still work (mine stopped after 7 months ((.)In the other side bad thingsare amotivation, .......music you like seems sucks, .......sexis like stupid innesseserlywaste of time....end even sometims hostile toughts about kidnapping buss and shooting topeople with sarcastichumoretc.. Other side effect are horribletotally **INSANE** dreams sometimes every single night. I remember last one reletad to emetophobiawhen i was eting guitar strings end fell sick after that!Btw i play guitar.In otherone something keep coming constanlyfrom my throat (it was not V*)like melted toffi or chewing gum a relly very stickithing.I waschoking andkeeptried to remove without success....


Today i will go to doc for ultrasonograpic scan rule outorganic illnes,its only one of the series of testI have to do,another is blood and ekhmmm upper endoscopy. Im bit scared but doc told me they give my some milk like anesthetic toinduce sleep during procedure[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]





Have a good day!

[rubysoho120]

good luck in your test, that sounds so scary! and welcome. So your a
male who doesn't want sex because of side effects of your medicine
that is really sad. I'm Ruby, 21 from Cali, Usa. I hope you find this
site helpful

[tom25]

HiRuby i just back from my ultrasonographic test, everything is perfectly ok evenrelativly unreletedtothis phobiathings like abdomen blood veins, kidneys, are perfect, no rocks or enything.

Subjectabout sex is little morecomplicated,,,Right nawi havevery ambivaletfeeling twords this.Taking ssri its like youwish had astrong desire again...Its not very stable side effect becouse sametimes desire came back rapidly without eny worning, sametimes vanish this make me angry.I was dating for few months with my ex girflendfor sex (paradoxically she also takeantidepresan't coled Effektin or Effexor depending onwhere you live,but in her case itseems iven improve her desire ) I had absolutlyno plesure at all, felling stupid, like"very not in this place" like sex robot for my girlfrend. Having sex ofcorse isphisically posibleiven for very long time like 3 or 4 hours im not lying its 100% thruebut ahiving orgasm is another storya very very very difficult. So this issadand at the same time veryfunny......for girls[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

Today i feel much better almost like day and night andI start slowly realising I might have some rapid cycling depresion or even ultradian thing (when you swich from depression to mania in a metter of hours!) Suchsituation isn't new for me...Almast psychotic and no hope in sunday,monday andyesterday andhappy mood today.....Emetophobia in my case is prabably a tip of iceberg in arctic sea not very optymistic.Mayby emetophobiathis is a kind of expression of live fears, future.....when you are nauseus you are very very uncertain what will be happen next.....V* or if I die.. P* N* are prabably symbolic, In Peter Brueghel paintings V* is a simbol of corruption...


[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[laneyb]

I just wanted to say HI!!! and I hope you find the site helpful, Ive been a member for a while now and its like a small community, there is always someone to help if you are in a panic.


Foe someone not very skilled in English, you communicate VERY well!!


Laney xxx

[tom25]

Hello it was long ago since my last post butI had same seriusproblems with my ISP. My conection simply didn't wark at all for few days grrrr[img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img].
Another newsI finally complete all medical testsincluding upper gastroendoscopy today. This procedure prabably sound very scary for most of us, but i was smart enought to book anesthesiologist and it was avery gooddecisson, not speeking about 65% higher costs......[img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img] I paid for all about 350zl thislittle more then100$ !


He give me few injections as I remember some antyanxiety (not know the name), anelgestics. then i had to lay on my left side, nurse put some gray pipelike plastic thing to my mouth to hold it and finally anstesiologist geve me another injction(barbiturate, proprofol)My vison blured so radicullusly and sound turn very fuzzy bzzzzzzzz sort of in a meteer of 2-3 seconds (this was a little funny). Next thing I remember is when Iwake ofter completed procedure. I had to stand up which was very difficult of corse doc helped me to go do rest room where my fatherwaswaithing to lay dawn there for a half hour....



As for diagnosis its a bile reflux formduodeumto stomache and some 1mm to 5mminflamantiions. But im not completysure what it is becousedoc take a biopsy samplesoI must wait a bit to be sure what it is and what the hell is making this condition.....infamus Helicobacter pylori ??

So my problems are not only in my mind[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]
Good day for all of you!

[metallikat87]

I'm sorry I missed this post! Welcome to the site, and I do hope all goes well for you in the future!

[lianaismadchill]

Hey Tom. Nice to meet you & welcome to the site. Were all here for you if you need people to talk to.

[jodi054]

hiya nice to meet you


hp is a infection !

[kellybean]

Hi, welcome to the site. I'm sure you will like it here, everyone is very nice and always here to help.