we bash on non-emets

[grelvia]

I constantly catch myself criticizing people who are not emet if they have v* in public.


Then I got to thinking, sometimes...they can't help it. If you are sick of course you shouldn't be out but what if they went to go buy medicine and have no one else to buy it for them. So there you have the v* in the parking lot. What if it just came to them when they were in the mall and didn't make it to the bathroom because it's so far.<--that happened to me What if it's pregnant girl with bad allday sickness. Or a kid who ate something that didn't settle right. Well I can go on for days and I just don't forgive the people who v* in parking lots where there is a bar or a buffet, lol!


Anyway I guess I'm just trying to defend all the non-emets who v* with no avoiding the situation.

[ginger_saves]

I have thought about this lately. S*** happens and those people obviously didn't want to v* in public. It's a horrible thing to happen and I think everyone's system is just different-some can moan and groan and hold it until they make it to a bathroom in time and some just shake and run into a corner and let it out. If it's some drunk loser or an area with druggies or bars, I know what happened obviously. I truly feel bad for sober people who get sick in public. It's quite traumatizing. I was a kid when I did it and it scarred me for life, so i can imagine as an adult. I pray it never happens.

[christianne]

I know, I have been guilty of getting p*ssed at people when they v* around me. I don't really know why I do it, and I know there are certain times when one just cannot help it, but it still irritates me. I guess I should look at it from their point of view---I mean, how horrible and embarassed they must feel to have done that in public! And the majority of them do not do it on purpose or anything. My son v*ed in Target once (had strep but I didn't know it yet) and I felt so bad for him! He wouldn't go back for the longest time because he was afraid they would remember him and laugh at him. Poor thing!

You really did bring up a good point---as awful as it is for us to witness they probably feel just as awful for doing it!

[punchbuggy]

im so guilty of this [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[stormchaser97]

I'm guilty of it too sometimes. I do feel more sympathy in situations where it couldn't really be helped. I've got none for people who are just drunk and don't care if/where they v*. I also have no sympathy for people who go out (for things other than meds) when know they are sick with something contagious. A friends fiance's grandparents got sick on a cruise ship with noro, got their baby grandkid sick with it, and the baby's parents knowingly brought the sick/ very contagious kid to thanksgiving and got other people sick. I think that's extremely rude, disrespectful, and irresponsible. So I would have a really hard time forgiving in that situation. (course i'd have kicked them out right away. I mean yeah, you want to spend time with your family, but you have to be respectful of others, not just us emets in that situation).

but yeah, sometimes it's hard and can't be helped. i felt horrible one time when this little 3 yr. old got sick on train, she didn't know what was happening to her and she was soo scared, just sobbing. i started having a panic attack and then started beating myself up for having the attack while this poor kid obviously had it worse than I did. I felt really stupid for it. Good observation and post.

Edited by: stormchaser97

[spilled_milk]

I'm sort of the medium. I know that they can't help it, so i dont g3t mad or pissed at them, but i dont feel much sympathy either. I just want to get out!


<3 Anya--

[ginger_saves]

stormchaser, I know what you mean.You know what, I was thinking there are still some people who just don't have a clue about sv's or something. They are n* and v*ng and they still try and do activities. Why can't they just realize how contagious sv's are and just stay home?! I've worked with people who calmly said they and their familyhad some stomach bugand the co-workerwould just go back and forth in the bathroom to v*and come out like nothing happens.What is so bad about calling in sickif you have something highly contagious?That is one thing that pisses me off. There is no excuse-so what if the person is broke for a couple days if they don't have anymore sick time. I will call in sick regardless if Iam v* or have d*. How can someone even work feeling n* all day and having to v* during work day?? It's very distracting!

[chicajojobe]

Yeah I'm sort of in the middle too. I don't get mad because my biggest emet fear is v*ing in public because I'm afraid people will get pissed and think I'm disgusting. Therefore, I don't get mad, but I'm not really sympathetic. I'm more just afraid. I want to get out of there because I start wondering if they have norwalk and will I maybe catch it.

Besides, how do you know that someone who v* in public is a non-emet? Emets don't v* much but they do sometimes, and I know that none want to do it in public. Unless it's someone who you already know, you never know if they might be an emet. If that's the case then what you're witnessing is their worst nightmare coming true.

[hippychick]

Mostly I don't get mad at all because I think if this person had a choice right now where would they want to be throwing up? Not in public that's for sure. I read a horrible story in a magazine about a pregnant woman who was thrown off a bus because she got sick. She didn't know it would happen beforehand and she asked the driver for the means to clean it up b/c she was really sorry but instead he just threw her off the bus. Not right.

Most of the time I don't get angry at all. The only time I DO get angry is when people are drunk because they caused it themselves and it makes me resentful.

[valkyriegrl]

I remember one time last summer, my husband hada bit too much sun at the beach and felt n*. He got me to pull into a gas station and then he went over by the dumpster in full view of me and tried to stick his finger down his throat. It didn't work, but I was mad! I was like "Do you have to do that right in front of me? God!" But that was because he did it on purpose and he knows how I feel about that kind of thing.If I were to see someone just randomly v*ing in public, I would be disgusted but not mad, exactly.

[grelvia]

EESH! [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]valkyriegrl, if I saw someone do that, I would be so pissed off! It's just as bad as being drunk! You do it to yourself, it's intentional. That is probably why Iget mad atbulimic and drunkpeople because I don't understand why they would do something to themselves that causes so much pain. Well this is also coming from an emet. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

[hippychick]

My friend has Bulimia and I've never once been mad at her about it. It's such a control thing that I actually sort of understand it. The first time she got sick it was because she was just so anxious and overwhelmed she didn't know what to do and it made her feel horribly sick, once she had made herself sick she found it relieved her anxiety because it was like a physical expression of how she felt, getting all the bad stuff out. Well she already had eating problems before and it developed into bulimia. Trust me if she felt she could not make herself sick she would stop straight away, it's not something she WANTS to do but if she doesn't the anxiety is so hard to deal with. Think how we feel if we think we've been exposed to a stomach bug? Well that's how the anxiety is to her if she believes she ate too much and the only relief she feels is to get sick.

She's fighting it though and some weeks are better than others, I'm so proud of her and I've never judged her or gotten mad at her. She has a terrible anxiety disorder and an Eating disorder but if she could be without them I know she would and she battles everyday. She's so strong. I could never get mad at her for making herself sick. She's my best friend and I love her to bits and wish only good things.

She has always been my most understanding and supportive friend about emetophobia and has actually posted here a few times.

I'm not trying to lecture anyone but just know that bulimics don't really want to be making themselves sick anymore than you want them to be. It's an anxiety disorder just like we have.

Edited by: hippychick

[domino2006]

My first year of teaching, before I was more desensitized, I saw a kid in my class who looked upset, ill and like he'd been crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said he'd been throwing up all day.

I was horrfied (it was the last hour of the day) and told him to go to the nurse.

He said he'd been going to the nurse all day but his dad wouldn't pick him up so the nurse kept sending him back to class. He was a very sweet, quiet kid. I practically yelled at him to GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM AND DON'T COME BACK.

I then proceeded to squirt all of the rest of the students with purell (they still talk about it!). After school ended, as I was leaving to go home I saw him sitting up against the wall out in the front of the school. It was freezing cold outside and he was shaking. I walked over and asked him why he was out here. He said the nurse sent him away again but he was afraid of coming back to my class so he sat outside instead. Boy, did I feel bad! I apologized profusely. He still goes to my school and we are friends now. But how terrible! He was only twelve at the time. I hope I didn't scar the poor kid. Sometimes I can be so out of control with this phobia!

I had a talk with the nurse, btw. She doesn't send kids back to me anymore!

My humble confession.

[phobos]

I don't get mad, I just become afraid. Sometimes I wonder that if we are critical of that kind of situation, if it couldn't possibly lead to someone ELSE being an emet.

[hippychick]

I think if we think logically and rationally we all know we shouldn't get angry at these people but when we are afraid our adrenaline is going, we feel threatened. This person has violated our safe space, upset our day and possibly exposed us to perceived danger IE vomiting.

Think about it this way, the way our emet works and the way fight or flight response works exposure to vomit is like someone pulling a gun on us.

So you're going about your daily business and doing ok and suddenly BAM someone pulls that gun and its there and our hearts are racing, the adreniline is flooding and all our sense are telling us to get the f*ck outta there. And it makes you angry how DARE this person cause this reaction, it makes us vunerable because they have upset us so much and in some ways it makes you feel so so threatened.

Because we have this phobia. We cannot think logically about it sometimes in that situation. But I bet in the case of most people who throw up in public, they feel pretty terrible. No one wants to be doing that with other people watching. No one wants that! If they could be at home snuggled up by the toilet bowl I bet they would be.

Our responses got messed up somewhere along the way because in reality it's nothing like having a gun pulled. Vomiting is just one act that will most likely pass quickly.

Edited by: hippychick