Yes! Yes! Exactly how I feel! And I know what you mean about not being able to. That is how I found this site, I was actually trying to find a way to make myself . . . sorry if that is unthinkable. I just want to be normal. I'm actually jealous of people who can do it and then think it's no big deal. I've been afraid of this since I can remember! For me it's been seven loooong and n* years and it would feel good to get it over with but also terrifying.

It's also frustrating when people say "Well you didn't v* so you must not really be sick."

Arrrg!