not alone

[mammy630]

I Cant believe there are so many people out there with this fear. Mine dates back to when I was a little girl. I was molested when I was younger and it took me until I was in College to realize what happened to me. Althrough my younger/teen years I was always awake at night n*. I was at school and I was n* . if someone had the bug I would cry in fear and plead to go to make it not happen to me. I went about 10 yrs without v*, but then I did when I was in my early 20's and my life came crashing down on me. I lost about 15 lbs and I have severe panic attacks. They told me the association was being molested when I was younger and the feeling I had back then and that related to the fear I had now when I v* or was n*. I had such a massive breakdown that I would look at food and when I did I would immidiately take xanax after to calm me down.


I started getting better and tried to go on with my life, but no matter where I am or what happens if I feel n* or someone else around me has the sv* I am a mess still. I call up my mom and husband and ask them if I will get it.


I did get sick last year and v* and made it through with the help of my husband cleaning it all up and he didnt even get sick from that. but I am still horribly i n fear of it. someone at my office just said the V* and that a nasty bug is going around in boston. I was reading all these replies and want to ask the doc for anti nasuea drugs or something.


I want a child one day , but I have that fear which seems to be common on this board, of my child having the SV*


knowing you are here helps

[hedgehog]

Welcome!!!

I am so so sorry to hear about what you have been through!!

I hope you find comfort in this site! Im always here to PM if you ever need to chat, dont hesitate!

Jen x

[silver]

I am so sorry that those terrible things happened to you as a child...nobody should ever have to go through that. We are a very understanding, supportive bunch of people as you will hopefully see. Welcome to the boards and know that we are here for you whenever you need. I know what you mean about being terrified when the sv* is going around, I think that pretty much everyone here has that are a big issue. It does sound like you are a very strong person considering that you have actually v* in the not too recent past and that you made it through. I become a raving mess whenever the sv* is going around...sometimes I have trouble eating and sleeping because I am so afraid. Welcome again, we will all get through this together somehow!!

[domino2006]

Hi! I'm glad you're here. What's helped me the most is reading the stories about others' experiences and realizing I'm not alone in the world with these thoughts and I'm not a bad person for having them. We all had our paths into this thing and from what I see there is a path out!