I would call my friend but I am crying so hard I can't hardly breathe. I did text message her though. I really don't want to v* and I am so scared. I'm scared that I said I want to die. I never say that. I need someone to come over but I look awful and I haven't even gotten dressed yet. I hate this and I just want to be myself again. I miss having tons of friends and going shopping. I was supposed to go out tonight with my mom and have dinner and go shopping. I dont want to v* and I hate my life.