Quote Originally Posted by jjbmack
I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I get so angry about having this fear. I mean it seems so stupid that I am afraid of v*. I know this is irrational but it doesn't matter. I can't turn off the fear. I am on Zoloft for depression but for me it definately has lessened my anxiety and has made me better able to cope when my kids get sick. I did a little therapy years ago but I didn't stick with it so it didn't really help. I am sure if I went back it would help now. It will take time. This site has been amazing for me and I only found it a couple weeks ago. It is great to be able to talk and vent to people who truly understand.
I get soooooooooo mad with myself and this fear too. Like you said, its so irrational, but it doesnt matter. When that fear grips you, it feels like its the end of the World. I used to get to angry that I used to self harm. I know that wasnt clever and I never should have allowed myself to go there, but it was the only was I could release that feeling of rage.

I think you should deff give therapy another try. It certainly sounds like you benefited a little, so as soon as you feel ready, you should go for it. Theres no reason that it shouldnt help you. If it doesnt, at least you tried, and then you can look for a new therapist or a different type of therapy. Us emets should never give up looking for help or for some form of a cure. None of us deserve to live like this.

I think its fab that you can cope looking after your s* children. Well done, that takes some bravery xxx