I hope this is the right place...

[rendil]

...if not, moving it works too, lol

I jut wanted to share with you all my major triumph this week. See, I was going on a scholarship program to a college about 2 hours away from my house and I was going to be there for a week. I was nervous and skeptical because that is like an emetophobe's worst nightmare: 2 hour bus ride, staying in dorms with other people with little privacy (meaning no "space"), optional foods from mini buffets you see at colleges (you know, the ones where food poisoning would be so easy to get), and, my personal favorite, 4 hour lectures in either classrooms or in the auditorium. Very small breaks in between.

I went to this program thinking I wouldn't make it, that I would get something crazy like stomach flu or food poisoning or at the very least, several panic attacks.

How wrong I was. Not only did I not panic on the trip there (or even think about my emet), I made it through every single session without panicking or worrying where a quick exit was AND (a major step for me) I ate every meal they served, even ones right before a lecture. Anyone who knows me knows this is a no-no in my book, since my fear is primarily public sickness and to eat right before being trapped brings about intense worrying about being sick in front of others.

The worst part? Just like I predicted, some people got sick from the food. Not only did I NOT panic, I still ate the food and didn't even think anything of it when my dorm mate complained of nausea right after eating. I simply asked if she was alright (as I was concerned for her health) and continued to eat when she said she would find out. The other worst part is a panic-inducer for all of you out there: We had a Alcohol and Drug Abuse presentation and the last three slides on the powerpoint the guy used there were three different pictures of people puking. They were actually ones I recognized
from Sage's website using photos for exposure therapy, so I didn't even panic in the slightest. I just thought "That's gross".

Long story short: There were so many opportunities for my emet to get the best of me, but it was like as if I didn't have it. I dunno if this is a big step and if this means I'm far more cured than ever before, but nonetheless I feel very triumphant at the moment!!

Sorry this post was so long btw lol

[x hannah x]

Hooray for overcoming so many scary emet moments! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. But you're apparently insane - 4 hour lectures? *shudder*

[jezebel89]

That's so great! I start university in only a few weeks and I am scared of everything that you said! That's amazing how well you dealt with everything, I hope I can do just as well as you!

[rendil]

Haha, yeah 4 hour lectures. They were more like workshops or sessions, but with very little hands on stuff. It wasn't by choice, we were required to attend a these so-called important things if we wanted to keep the scholarship. I guess it was good though because eventually I got used to having to go through them so my comfort level was good, therefore less likely to have panic attacks since experience told me that I was fine multiple times before.

It also helped that the lectures were boring enough that all I could think about was trying not sleep (we had weird sleep schedules: get up at 6:30 every morning and not in bed til midnight).

And Jezebel, don't be scared! I have to say, a lot of it is a lot worse in your head. My imagination turned out to be my worst enemy. As emets I think a good portion of the time we just need to realize that we're being blinded and our perception of these situations are only that: perceptions. What really goes on is an entirely different story. Another thing I remembered was that I was eating food with a group of people and figured if they got sick then I knew I would. Not comforting for y'all but knowing I wouldn't be suffering eased my suffering a bit.

[twilightrose]

Good for you for getting through that! That's great, and a huge triumph. But four-hour-lectures? Are you insane?