I've been suffering from what I have just recently realised is emetophobia for around 6 years. I had a traumatic (for me) experience with a (now ex-)boyfriend drinking too much, combinined with the stress of moving to a foreign country which triggered everything. I've thought for most of that time that I simply suffered from panic attacks, but I don't really have any panic except when v**** is concerned.
I have been with my boyfriend now for 4 years and he is very supportive of me, but I feel that my fear is unfairly controlling his behaviour. I've basically managed to stop him from drinking any alcohol. But I know that he wants to drink. I am very aggressive when he wants to drink and I control exactly how much we both drink. (i hardly ever have more than a glass of wine). I'm worried that my behaviour will wear him down, as it must be extremely annoying to be asked constantly how one is feeling and then being accused of lying about it.
I'm so so tired of all of this. But I wanted to say thank you for starting this site as I finally feel like I've found a place where people might understand me.
I'm so scared all the time. I work in a pre-school, with 3 and 4 year olds. I wash my hands all the time, I don't know if I can continue doing my job through the winter sickness period. I love my job but I'm exhausted by constantly worrying and scanning myself to see if I'm ill yet.
I apologise for rambling but I'm having a particularly bad night. Thank you again for starting this forum.