comment and Question to the healed.....

[terified girl]

Alright I've got one Question and one comment thanks to my bf... I am wondering if this site is really helpful, before ever being here I imagined that all emets never v*'d because of our switch and that sort of gave me comfort only to keep reading that plenty of you do and that freaks the crap out of me because now I know I'm not safe....doesn't anyone else feel this way? Yet I also enjoy reading some things because it is helpful but for the most part, you guys are scaring me....


Onto the Question.... For those of you who have managed to cure yourselves of emet, how did you do it. Share your stories with us, give us hope, tell us what you did to be cured or whatever you wanna call it, some of us are looking for a ''good'' way out.......


Won't you help us??????????????????

[Jenneh]

*deleted*Edited by: Jenneh

[Eternity]

What strikes me about this site... is the psychological effect (which has a name I forget right now) whereby we end up reading so much about ppl being sick, that we percieve it happens in the world far more than it actually does. The chances of you seeing someone throw up at any point are miniscule. The chances of you actually gettin sick are even smaller, but because we hear about it so disproportionatly much, the chances get bigger n bigger in our minds. Tis the same principle by which the media panics the public over crimes like murder n rape- the amount of these crimes are tiny, in comparison to crimes like theft, violence or lesser reported things. But ppl see them as huge, n become terrified, just because one person inhowevermany million is murdered. You have more chance of winning the lottery, still, who doesnt look behind them when walkin down a dark alley at night? Thats not the point- the point is, that sites like this probly are scary, if ya dont take into account that everyone who posts here are as obsessive as you are, n the amount we talk about sick, makes it seem much much more common than it really is...

[terified girl]

Jen, I know I read somewhere ina post someone was writing a book because she was cured or did I just misread all that????

[Jenneh]

*deleted*Edited by: Jenneh

[Jenneh]

*deleted*Edited by: Jenneh

[rachelle]

Hi terrified girl,


I think that it varies from person to person whether this site helps them or not. Maybe if ur in the worst stages of dealing with emetophobia then it might not help, since u would be reading about cases of v*ing alot etc etc. Alredy it seems as though u r more anxious as a result of reading some of this sites contents. At the end of the day, its entirely ur decision.


I dont believe anyone can ever be cured of this phobia, im sorry if other ppl think otherwise. I deal with this phobia on a day to day basis, and it no longer controls me, i control it and I cope with it.


I would love to help in anyway that I can hun, please just let me know if u need any advice.


Rachel xxx

[terified girl]

Jen, I know I read somewhere ina post someone was writing a book because she was cured or did I just misread all that????

What I wrote there Jen was serious, I was not being attitudish with you, I really wanted to know if I had misread what I thought I saw....So sorry you took it bad....But to ppl like you I could never be cruel to, we are all in the same boat, patience is all we've got to offer to eachother...... Sorry about the post I put up earlier, I think I will just read from now on and keep my fingers to myself

[hippychick]

Jennah I really Don't think anyone here was being hostile TG was just asking a question is all.


I don't know if you can be cured completely or not but I do know you can get your emet to a level where it doesn't bother you on a day to day basis because I have lol The person you were referring to is Sage who is also a moderator here and she is writing a book about her experiance with emet. Sage has been successfully treated for emetophobia.


x

[mparker5]

TG, I can see where you're coming from, but I think this site helps me. When someone from here posts that they've had a stomach bug and v-ed, they usually add that it wasn't nearly as bad as we all imagine it to be. Plus, they're looking for support- they've just been through something traumatic for them.


I have written a couple of posts like this myself when I had bugs, and I really intended it to help, not harm. A lot of the people on here haven't v-ed in years and years, and they have forgotten what it's even like. They need to know that it's something they will be able to get through if it does happen.


But if it's really bothering you, that's why people put things like *graphic* or *gross* in the subject line, so that you'll know not to read it. I really hope you feel better soon.


Plus, I think it was sage you must have been talking about- the lady here who has been cured and I *think* she said she's writing a book or a dissertation, or something - does anyone know?

[buttercup]

I don't know much about what Sage is doing, butI found her story and a couple of the other stories at the to of the "experience" section in the how I got emet or got cured from emet section to be very inspirational. I wish some more people would post their stories on there, I like knowing where people are coming from.

[Jenneh]

*deleted*Edited by: Jenneh

[sarahx]

My boyfriend also thinks this site has made my emet worse, he thinks im much more panicky about stuff now, like eating and being extra hygenic, and i guess i am but if i didnt have this site i think i would go mad. Everyone on here understands the silly little things we do to avoid this fear, non emets dont understand them. I love the support and advice i get on here.


I also dont think that emet can be cured, how can your thought proccess be changed from one thing to the extreme other, i cant ever imagine NOT being afraid of v*, i think that all we can do is try to control it as best we can and deal with it day to day.


Sarah xxx

[Jenneh]

terified girl, this is between me and you, ok?


i apologised, its over. i said i wanted to help you. would you like me to do that?


Jen xxx

[terified girl]

sure!

[Jenneh]

ok. do you have MSN, AIM? or email? its not on ur profile...


Jen xxx

[terified girl]

email : [email protected]

[sbias]

The only way I had out, was through.....


Thats what I told my wife, a few days ago. I have no idea if you seen any of my posts, about my summer. But I will try to short hand it for you. I started coming here a few months back, after suffering with this for so long, I had no idea this even had a name. I thought one night to look it up on the internet, and I came to here, as well as a few other sites. I was happy to find people that had the same problem, but I became really afraid when I saw, another site, I can't remember the site's name, but the person described, seeing X amount of doctors, being sent here and there, medications, and still suffered. I posted in the forums, talking about my symptoms, and when an attack came I asked for advice.


Coming here helped me deal with the attacks, cause the people here are extremely understanding, however the attacks became more and more frequent. This always happened in spurts, so this site, or looking up emet, is not the cause. I always said I had hot spot cold spot moments.


My son became ill one day while my wife was away. He only had me to turn to too, I had to do something, so I helped him. I was so proud and I came in here bragging about how great I was.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img].... Until that evening when I had one of my worst attacks in recent memory. I was stunned, and angry, I came here and I ranted, about how I wasn't going to take it anymore, and I think that was what saved me, I was tired of being a burden to my wife, and my son. I got angry, not at myself like I had for 20 odd years, but i got mad at it. I thought to myself if I can stop the fear and let it come, the actual act would be far less destructive than the attacks every other day.


I started eating out, and staying out, not rushing directly home, I went on a roller coaster, I went to a friends house whom I knew was sick shortly before... (that was so hard just getting out of the car to go to his door.).. but it kept in the back of my mind, how angry I was at it..... Not at me.... But it... I would have an attack...Lean in front of a toilet and say OK let's go, and in my heartI knew I could beat it.


When the act finally happened, I wasn't expecting it, and like I stated in a previous post, the nausea I felt from the panic, and such, was fargreater than the actual nausea. I had no idea to be honest that it was going to happen, and when it did I wasn't over come with fear, but shock, that what just happened, had happened. The worst part of the whole ordeal was the aftertaste, it wasn't painful, I didn't lose my breath, I wasn't so weak I couldn't stand. I was just.... This happened several times over a three day period, and each time I became more comfortable with it. To the point by the final ones I was able to not wake my wife.


I still have stomach pains every now and then, for example tonight my IBS, and stomach both are torn apart, but i am not afraid, if I get sick, it will be just like last time, and I will awaken tomorrow, and say man that really stunk, and go play ball with my boy. The only way out, and I honestly believe this is through. You have to yell in your IT'S face, and fight back. I know that sounds impossible, I know that sounds insane, and if i could go back and tell myself this a year ago, I'd probably have slapped myself, but it worked for me, and I hope you find what works for you.


Love,


Stephen


And when it is going away, and you will know when that time comes. You'll feel so wonderful, my wife, son, and I, have never been happier.Edited by: sbias

[terified girl]

Stephen, those last 2 lines really touched me....


I am so happy to hear that you are doing fantastic. As you said, fighting IT is hard, and I think I will go thru years of mental pain before I step up and tell my monster that I will not be afraid anymore, but I really appreciate what you wrote...


Thank you very much.


Sonia

[sage]

Sorry I've been away and missed this thread...but it looks like the newbies have found the stories and also the information on the top of the "Treatments" section.


With the research I've been doing on the book this summer I think I've come to the understanding that it depends what caused your emetophobia as to how healed of it you can actually become. The family process, the anxiety of your mother (particularly), how your father plays into it, your parent's relationship with each other - and all of this particularly in childhood are important factors. For me, the phobia came on through a series of traumatic events and unresolved attachment issues with my mother, then father (to whom I was deeply attached, but who died when I was 9). For various reasons, I was able to develop "a strong core self" (a sort of technical term) which many people may not have been able to develop based on their family history and the emotional process in their family situations. This core self is a huge factor in heal-ability. If you have less of it (which is absolutely, totally not your fault) then it's harder to be "cured" once and for all.. HOWEVER it is still possible to have HUGE symptom relief, meaning you can live a normal life, not think about vomiting really much at all, and not panick. You may still have anxiety to "cope with" throughout your life, and certain stressful life events may still trigger it. Again, this stuff isn't black-and-white, it's all on a scale from like 0-100 with 100 being perfect and 0 being locked up in some institution. Nobody on earth is more well-adjusted emotionally than about 70 and most people sit around 50. Phobics like us are farther down the scale. The more core self you developed in childhood, the closer you are to the 50 mark, which makes it easier to heal completely.


This scale is important, cuz it means everyone is different and has different circumstances so we can't base our beliefs on what happens to others. The same is true with how likely you are to be sick yourself, etc.


Again, the important thing is that there's treatment out there that is excellent, and even if you suffer terribly from this disorder, you can be treated very very well to the point of leading a normal life without fear. You just have to "keep an eye on it" for the rest of your life, so symptoms don't re-appear when the stress goes up. My point is that there is lots and lots of hope, and treatments get better every day. Drugs are especially being refined all the time, and can be extremely helpful - even if some folks have to stay on them for their whole lives (you gotta think of it like diabetes or something).


Keep up your hope! Never despair!

[sbias]

Your welcome, and when you get angry, and say I am not gonna take this anymore, just remember I will always be floating around here, and my email is [email protected], I'd give anyone who asks tips, or do anything I could for an emet.


Keep in mind I am not fully cured, I still have attacks, justnot even remotely assevere, or in length. Plus I have gotten to the point that if it happens, oh well. I just feel really sad cause the things I have missed out on, and the things that my emet has kept me from doing, I was I could have it all back.





Stephen

[terified girl]

Again, thank you Stephen, that is very nice of you!


Sonia