Why are you scared of V* (poss. graphic?)

[SarahB]

Was just wondering (as you do), what it is for you that is so terrifying about v*ing? Maybe if we think about it a little it might help us....


For me its:


1. The actual physical feeling of it happening.


2. The smell, taste, look of v*


3. The hideous nausea you get when you have v*'d - which is so much worse than our anxiety nausea.


I don't care if people are looking at me or what they think, so if it was to happen in public it would just be the deed that panicked/horrified me not the fact I was in public.


Can you put your finger on wht it is for you that scares you?

[sunshine16]

Hmm personally I hate/am phobic of all those things. But if I put those in the order of how much it scares me, it would be like this:


1)taste, smell and look of v*


2)nausea


3)the feeling

[2jo2]

The nausea and not knowing when it will go away, the inability to control how you feel. Public or not has no affect on me either, although when i'm sick I always want to be at home. I think I'm just as or even more scared of others doing it, the sound, the wondering how many times they'll do it, the worrying if they're contagious. Good question!

[mystikal star]

I hate v all together but the thing that bugs me most is that warm feeling your body gets and then that HUGE heave right before 'it' happens. All the times I have v-ed I have heaved so loudly before it came up. I fear the texture too. I can't stand the warmth. I can't stand the look or taste. I hate everything about v!! But mostly the heave and how much is hurts the throat.

[2jo2]

I should add.. the choking. I hate the choking.


[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[Melikasa]

I think I hate EVERYTHING about it but I hate the unexpectedness and lack of control A LOT. Especially if you are out or away from a bathroom. Its like ok if I AM going to be sick can it wait. I hate not knowing if it IS going to happen or if it is just nausea. Of course I hate when I can't tell if it is panick nausea that will go away or if I have a bug.

[cwarren]

God, everything!!


1) The smell


2) The look


3) The taste


4) The noise that it makes when it comes out (especially people that are really loud when they do it....ugh)


5) The way it makes you feel when you are doing it


6) Watching it happening


7) Other people seeing me do it

[hanarky]

I feel extremely weak and disoriented before I do it.. I HATE
THAT!!!!!!!!
I DO NOT CARE where I will do it
Right before I vomit I care ONLY about Myself!! i am the most
selfish person when i am vomiting
nobody can touch me noone can speak to me cause i will not
answer back.
when im really naseaous i can't move, if i do i vomit..
i hate the gaggin, i can't breathe during it
the noise, i hate looking at the pitiful faces that feel sorry for me
when they are looking at me doing the deed.. i hate when
people look at me like puppies.. if they wanna help.. AMKE IT
GO AWAY RIGHT AWAY!! LOL
1. the nausea
2. the feeling (disorientation) dizzyness
3. the taste
eww i dont wanna do this anymore

[Jenneh]

Sarah, you're spot on.


i asked myself this question once. wrote down my answers, and managed to change my view point on the whole process.


this is what i came up with as my reasons for being afriad of v*.


1.) in my mind, it was dirty


2.) in my mind, it meant i was out of control


3.) you can;t "put it anywhere"


4.) in my mind, it was humiliating


5.) it feels just plain gross really!!


Jen xxx

[sweetanya]

everything. the smell, the act, the noise, the look. .....

[sarahx]

I hate everything too, but im also terrified of doing it in public, that really scares me too, if i was at home id cope sooo much better. Luckily ive never v* in public and i hope i never will! I think thats why i fear others v* incase its in public? Its jst embarrassing and jst plain discusting. I hate it that theres nothing you can do except let it happen..... yuk... this thread is gross...

[mbs730]

Okay
here is how it is with me. I am MORE phobic of others v'ing around me
than I am of doing it myself. However whenever I am faced with possibly
doing it myself this is what I hate the most. Firstly the n is just
HORRIBLE. I cant even really explain it. In fact I dont think anyone
can. The anxiety associated with it, you just cant be bothered when n,
although I would think that nonemets get anxious while n too but I
dunno, with emets is 100 times worse. However the thing about v that I
hate the most is the retching, that feeling like you are out of
control. The gagging, what a NASTY sensation, the drooling, the way it
tastes and feels is very scary, the smell and I would think most of all
the appearance of it. Okay this might be a little graphic! When I v'ed
that night when I was 13, I knew it was going to happen because of
starting to retch. Then I made a run for it to the bathoom, then I felt
it in the back of my throat (another TERRIBLE feeling) and knew there
was no way out at that point. So I leaned over the toilet with my eyes
closed and v'ed. I flushed and was believe it or not amazed at "how bad
it wasnt as I had made it out to be" but at the same time was very
nervous to open my eyes because of possibly seeing if I had missed
which didnt thank heavens! However 2 minutes later even knowing it
wasnt as BAD as I had made it out to be, I became my same emetophobic
self again. Now that one session was all I needed. I felt 100% better
after and didnt have anymore n. I have had MANY moments of having
severe n like that but NEVER v'ed. I wonder if I have allowed myself to
v if eventually those brief moments of knowing it wasnt as bad as I had
made it out to be would eventually grow into longer moments and
therefore in time I would become less phobic. I dont know however I
dont always think that I am going to have n or be sick everytime I
leave the house. I also dont think about others v'ing in the general
public because I go by odds unless I have to go into a public washroom
or something. Now the thing with me is, the reason I am more phobic of
OTHERS v'ing than myself is probably the control issue. Most of the
time I can control it whenever I feel n but you cannot control with
others do. What I am phobic about others doing it is, I would think
mostly the sound of them v'ing and the sight of it. Especially the way
it splashes out! It doesnt matter if they v from a bug, food poisoning,
morning sickness, or whatever. If they so much say they feel n I RUN!
Now I am probably one of the most LEAST compassionate people on Earth
whenever it comes to someone saying that they v'ed, maybe more so than
other emets. I was so angry with my husband for almost 2 years after he
did it the night my daughter was born. There were other reasons for
that too that made me feel that way but I would say this. I would have
a really hard time being intimite with him even weeks, MONTHS later if
he had v'ed just from one time. Fortunately he only v'ed that one time
that I have known him but there are many more opportunities to come. My
sister in law v's a lot and I cant stand being around her, again there
are other reasons for me feeling that way about her but I keep on
having this idea that if she is near me, even if she isnt feeling n
that she is going to smell of v or something. I am concerned about how
I am going to be when my kids do it but I think I am more compassionate
about children doing it than adults. I dont get as freaked whenever I
hear of a small child v'ing. I dont get it though, if we logically know
that its NOT AS BAD AS WE MAKE IT OUT TO BE, we are still scared to
death. I dont know. I hate being an emet.



Miriam

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[jgirl236]

[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]mbs - I hear ya!


I have been trying for years to convince myself that I will be okay if I v* but to no avail - I still freak out terribly if I feel even slightly sick. For me - and my personal experience of when I became an emet - I subconsciously fear death as a result of v*. My father got really sick on bad egg salad when I was 9 years old and being an emet himself (I didn't know that at the time) - slept on the couch next to my bed all night with a bucket next to his head. I don't remember much else (I think I blocked it out) but I have been scared ever since. My therapist seems to think that I was terrified that my father was going to v* himself to death - and that is what triggers my fear now. Trust me -it is not an easy for me to be rationalin my head when I am feeling really nauseous. No matter how many times I tell myself that if I v* I won't die - it never seems to sink in.


In response to the original question - I really can't stand v* in general - the look, the taste, the sound, the smell - all of it! I think I am much more afraid of being sick myself than seeing someone else (I only fear others as they have the potential to get me sick). But I am currently working on expousre therapy that I am hoping will get me more used to seeing it and evenutally - smelling and maybe someday - tasting. Yuck!


Jessica [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[Melikasa]

hi Miriam.
I was the one sick the night my son was born. I thought since I handled that so well maybe I would be over the emet thing but I wasn't. I was concentrating more on the pain. I had to have him with no drugs or pain killers. My husband was sick the day we got married and I was worried it might affect how I felt about him but for some reason it didn't.
I am sure you will be fine with your daughter. I found that because babies graduate you from spit up it isn't so bad. You will pretty much do anything for them. So far so good. He is only 18 months old so I am not sure how it will go as he gets older.
I have found though that between my husband and my baby I have become not soooooo worried about others being sick.
It still freaks me out though especially if it is going to be me and like Jessica no matter how rational I try and be I can't seem to get it out of my head that it isn't that bad.

[Sun666]

I really don´t know how it feels to vomit! i was just a little girl when i threw up the last time, so i don´t remember.


If i feelnausea now and get panicking because i COULD v*, it is like:


- feeling of controll lossabout myself


- i hate choking (sometimes have this feeling but i don´t v* then)


- i am really fearfully, when i have to vomit that i can´t stop it, that it is so awful that i have to vomit again and again!


- ????

[mbs730]

Jessica I'm so sorry you had to endure that with your
father. I didnt know this either but my mother told me my grandfather
was an emet, he wasnt afraid of others getting sick but always feared
himself!! Wonder if there is a hereditery factor in this????? Could it
be? Like some may be predisposed to it and if one little trigger occurs
it does you for life kinda thing?? Tell me what the exposure therapy
involves. I am not sure if I will ever be ready for that. And Melikasa,
I'm sorry to hear you were sick the night your son was born. You know
maybe I also resent my husband for being sick the night my daughter was
born was because since *I* was the one who went through the hardships,
I should have been the one to be sick, not him??? Maybe in some sort of
sick way I was a bit jealous, jealous that he was able to get sick and
no problem and even though I was n I still would no way in hell be
sick. Man why did your husband get sick on your wedding day???? Oh man
I would have freaked if that happened. My daughter is 2 now and I have
a son who is almost 5 months now but no sickness. My son swallowed
meconium and had to be in the NICU for a week, what a mess that
was. There were other factors too that made me feel that way
about my husband after my daughter was born that had nothing to do with
him v'ing, in fact I had full blown PPD after my daughter's birth. But
he was much better after our son's birth. However I still have a hard
time with being intimate with him. Its in my head though, and you
cannot rationalize it! I hate this phobia! Oh and yeah even if you MUST
v no matter how hard you try, yeah you are fine with it RIGHT after it
happens but minutes later you turn into your own same emet self again.
Frusterating huh?



Miriam

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[lola]

i cant even read your posts!just flicking through them has made me sweat..my psychologist says you have to expose yourself to everything you would normally avoid but i cant even read about it!i too am more phobic of others v****ing i have four children and one gets car s***!i dont know what it is but i hate the way all my blood runs to my head how the room starts spinning and how out of control i feel how i can hear my heart beating so hard fifteen mins after someone justs suggests being s***.my husband never is or if he does he knows better than to tell me but my children cant help it and i cant help them which probably scares me most.my first recolection of someone v****ing is my grandmother she was then so ill for a few weeks she could only eat babyfood then she died.so in answer to the question the thing i hate most is the fear it provokes.

[mbs730]

Oh
I'm so sorry. Yeah that is me I am more phobic of others being sick
than I fear myself. I ONLY get scared and anxious IF I am n but I dont
worry on a daily basis if I eat something whether or not it will make
me n. However if I hear of someone getting food poisoning from a
particular restaurant, there is no way anyone can pay me to eat there.
I have 2 kids and I dont know how I'll be when they get sick! They are
both still really young. I dont know. I'm sorry you had to see your
grandmother be ill like that. That must have been hell.



Miriam

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[youngemet222]

Oh my god! I am so sorry that happened to your grandmother that way, lola.


Okay, for what I hate about vomiting is the (ranked by number 1 being the worst):


1) The NAUSEA and the feeling of vomit coming up.


2)The bad taste of bile and mashed up food (EW!)


3) The panic I get when I feel nausea.


4) The look and smell.


Well, I'm not going to write anymore because I basically hate EVERYTHING about vomiting and I could go on for days with stuff I hate about it. Peace.


LIzzY

[rhinoseri]

Pretty much everything about it! Especially the feeling when you get sick, when you're just about to, the look of it, sound, smell... everything!

[buttercup]

Gosh, I can't imagine doing the exposure therapy, just reading what everyone has written has sent me into a panic. I just hate everything about it, I agree w/ another post that said the worst part is the fear. Yes, definitly, the fear is debilitating. Why can't I just get myself together? I also worry a lot about my son being sick. He is two and never has been (other than baby spit-up, which thankfully doesn't bother me) v* sick. He just started a preschool program and I am terrified he will come home w/ a stomach virus!! I think it must be the ultimate feeling of failure not to be able to be there for you child. I hate this phobia more and more all the time, I don't want to instill this fear in my son by letting him see how terrified I am and to not be there for him!!

[wing]

I hate everything too, but im also terrified of doing it in public, that really scares me too, if i was at home id cope sooo much better. Luckily ive never v* in public and i hope i never will! I think thats why i fear others v* incase its in public? Its jst embarrassing and jst plain discusting. I hate it that theres nothing you can do except let it happen..... yuk... this thread is gross...

..i agree with you totally...i think also in public because i suffer from social anxiety also and i hate attention focused on me. But even then when i'm at home i feel a bit calmer although i still get really scared when i get n.


Oh yea...Short for my name's Mel. I'm new but almost incredibly shy..

[mbs730]

Buttercup
I am the same way... my daughter has never really v'ed and she is 2 and
I am scared to death of sending her to anything. I mean yeah baby spit
up is nothing. I have a 5 month old that spits up and she was worse
with that than he is. I am so afraid how I am going to be when she
starts school and stuff because her being sick is inevitable, same with
my son!



Miriam

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[buttercup]

Thanks, Miriam, it's nice to have found other mothers who I can relate to with this part of emet. Completely off topic, but how are you handling two? I would really like to have another, and my husband is ready, but I'm just so afraid it will be too much to handle.

[mbs730]

I
get a lot of help from family so its not so bad, at first like anything
its a hard shock but you do end up getting used to it. You have to be
100% ready though. We really werent. We struggled with fertility issues
when my husband and I were trying to conceive our daughter but our son
was a total surprise. We thought that we would have to go through the
same procedures and we were planning to do that this year... as it
turns out things happen for a reason, really weird stuff...my husband
ended up with a testicular tumor and it was discovered weeks before our
son was born!! He is okay luckily, never needed any kind of treatment,
just surveylance, checked through a CT scan every 4 months. I feel so
bad because if there was a chance of recurrance which is unlikely, if
he were to need radiation I couldnt cope with him being sick I feel
selfish by saying that but that is my emet talking. But odd, someone
was obviously looking out for us.. the odds of us conceiving a child on
our own we were told anyway was not likely, he has a low count and my
cycles are messy. And voila, our son beat the odds!



Miriam

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[buttercup]

It's good that you have a lot of help, I am fortunate that I do as well. My husband and I had no trouble at all conceiving our son, so I guess we just assume than when we're ready it will happen again, but i guess you never know.


DO NOT feel like a bad person for fearing that you wouldn't be able to deal with your husband being ill if (God forbid) he had to have radiation or chemo. One of my biggest fears is myself or a family member getting cancer (for other obvious reasons, too) because I have no idea how I would ever get through it. I guess it's kind of like having children. You know the odds are good that eventually you'll be stuck in a situation where you can't run away from it(v* I mean), and I guess at that time you just do the best you can to deal. Okay, time for bed, I'm rambling!!!

[mbs730]

Thanks
buttercup, that means a lot because I feel so bad whenever I start
thinking that way. Yeah its late here too I should head on to bed lol.
But since you were able to conceive once easily odds are you will
again!! Sweet dreams!



Miriam

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[buttercup]

Thanks, same to you. Hopefully your baby is letting you sleep by now .

[mbs730]

Oh yeah he is Its hard going through the first 3 months but after that it keeps getting easier and easier I find anyway



Miriam

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