awakward?

[kassiewoodruff]

anyone else have a hard time forming close bonds with people?

I have a limited group of people I let in forever and it's really hard for me to find more or make more close friends. I think my emet has made me very awakward and I used to have a lot of problems with social anxieties. (people, places or events where someone could V*)

maybe I'm just the odd one out? I enjoy being around people now I think I'm just weird.

[lyntess]

I always thought that it wasn't so much that it's hard for me to MAKE friends, as I'm just not that... interested in people. :-P I am very content to be a loner, and while others seem to often seek my company, I honestly would rather sit at home alone than be out with a group of friends-- or even just visit someone else's home.

Perhaps part of that is my phobia... and part of it elitism or insecurity or both. But honestly, it's something I've kind of just accepted about myself. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I TREASURE my independence, and I have this weird fear that allowing too many people "help" or even just be near me in times of trouble would make me weak, reliant on others all the time.

I make friends in my circle of interaction (work, etc), but once my time in a place is over, I genuinely don't feel much about it. Yeah, I'm moving on, no biggee... while other people are like OMG UR LEAVIN R U SAD!!?? Haha. Yeah, no. Looking forward to something new!

[kassiewoodruff]

I like your look on things. maybe theres a part of me that pushes people away because I want to be alone too? I havent quite figured it out. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[lyntess]

Whatever you are, take pride in it. Make a conscious decision to be a certain way-- especially if that's what really makes you happy! If you don't WANT to be a social butterfly, don't make yourself feel guilty for not being one! You are who you are. And it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round. :-)

I wholeheartedly endorse spending alone time discovering who you are, what you want out of life, and just generally making sure you LIKE yourself! If YOU can't stand spending time with you, how would anyone else? lol. There is nothing wrong with relying on yourself for entertainment and stimulation-- you can be creative and alive and intelligent on your own, and make yourself a valuable person to the few who you allow in eventually.

[kassiewoodruff]

[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] I always love to hear what you have to say you are such an insiteful person. thank you for responding! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[feathermask]

I don't make friends easily either. I have a hard time fitting into groups, I guess. I'm not a "type". I do love talking with people, though. I can strike up a conversation with a stranger about the weather or whatever is going on at the moment. However, I'm not good with taking it any further than that. Being in a friendship is kind of difficult to navigate for me. I didn't have many friends growing up, so I'm unsure of myself and about the unspoken rules of friendship.

I'm also a private person and don't divulge a whole lot about myself right away, which seems to be a problem especially nowadays and especially among women. When women get together the conversation seems to steer into how many people they've slept with or what eating disorders they've had. And there I am thinking "Holy crap, can't we talk about, I dunno, maybe what supermarkets we like to shop at or something."lol

Lately, I've started trying to form some bonds with people, because as i get older I realize that it's important to have others around;to have a network of sorts. I suppose I'll have to learn the rules of friendship 25 or 30 years later than normal. Hopefully it works out.

[john f.]

I always thought that it wasn't so much that it's hard for me to MAKE friends, as
I'm just not that... interested in people. :-P I am very content to be a loner, and while
others seem to often seek my company, I honestly would rather sit at home alone than be
out with a group of friends-- or even just visit someone else's home.

Did you write that or did I?[img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img] Sounds exactly like me. I just don't really like
being around people all day when I could be relaxing, doing something I enjoy more
without worrying about anything. I mean, I do enjoy hanging out with my friends, just not
all day every day like some people. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if my
preference for solitude is really a preference for solitude itself. I probably wouldn't
mind the company if I wasn't always worrying about acting "normal" and trying to hide my
phobia. (I've already come to the conclusion that most people without this phobia cannot
possibly understand it, so I think it's best not to tell anyone at all lest I alienate
myself even further).

I do find it hard to make new friends. People might describe me as awkward and weird,
which I admit is probably true, but I think it's mostly my own fault for avoiding
opportunistic situations. I turn down a lot of invitations.

[pretendworld_]

I think my emet has definately impacted my social life and the relationships I have with people. My whole life I've always been branded 'the shy one' or whatever and irritates me to no end! but I suppose I just prefer to have a more intimate group of friends who I know quite well, rather than dozens of acquaintance. I have trust issues too so perhaps it's all related.

[alwaysafraid]

I'm a private person and thoroughly enjoy alone time. I've lived alone a long time and I like to do things when I want and how I want. I have a couple of good friends I can always count on. Luckily they are both busy with young families and get out occasionally when they can and that's fine with me. My isiter is also a close friend, she's the only friend I talk to about my emet. I think some people are just less social than others. As long as you don't isolate yourself I believe that's just fine. The world has all kinds of people.

[tanechka1984]

I do but it has nothing to do with emet. Though I don't think of it as a problem - I'm comfortable the way I am. Others are not but it's their problem)

[kyle1989]

emet destroyed my social life, and impacted my personality.
i am a misfit with people my age in many ways, i get along with older people. i don't keep up with typical television shows, i don't keep up with the latest films, i don't keep up with the radio and the latest music, i don't keep up with anything much that most people my age today, are interested in.

because of this, i have nothing to talk about with them, so because of taht, i never talk much in social situations, and i end up coming accross 'stern' or a bit cold, when really im not. im quite a warm person who's not afraid to be close friends with anyone from any walk of life.

i can appreciate being alone too, but i do prefer to have a social life more.

i have learned that i have to be some one im not in order to fit in and have acquaintances of my age, which is sad really. but when i say that, i don't really mean i have to be another person, i am not fake. i just mean i feel like i have to talk about things, or bring out parts of me which im not really about, in order to fit in. although the good thing is, this has brought me new friends, and after getting passed the superficial side of 'friendships' they've learned to like me for who i really am, and see how im a good person.

i am happy with my progress in the past year, i have made more effort to come accross much more sociable at parties and stuff, instead of being a wallflower, or some one who sits down somewhere and keeps to them selfs.

im also a very 'serious' person, i do have a sense of humor, but im very serious at the same time.

i think its possible that maybe you don't fit in with people for similar reasons?

Edited by: kyle1989

[john f.]

i am a misfit with people my age in many ways, i get along with older people. i don't keep up with typical television shows, i don't keep up with the latest films, i don't keep up with the radio and the latest music, i don't keep up with anything much that most people my age today, are interested in.

because of this, i have nothing to talk about with them, so because of taht, i never talk much in social situations, and i end up coming accross 'stern' or a bit cold, when really im not. im quite a warm person who's not afraid to be close friends with anyone from any walk of life.

I'm kind of the same way. I find most people my age shallow and boring, and they probably find me weird and boring (except for the few good friends I have.) I hate pop culture, I think most trends are stupid, and my topics of interest revolve more around politics, philosophy, literature etc.. rather than that party I got drunk at, or that new hollywood blockbuster. In short, I'm no fun. [img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

But to be honest I'm not sure if I'm that way because of emet, or if that's just how my personality turned out to be. Emet has definitely given me more time to myself, to develop interests that don't revolve around other people's interests, but I could just as well be spending all my alone time watching DVD's and TV while updating my status on facebook 18 times a day.

Strangely though, I don't regret any of this. I don't really care to become more socially active if that means changing my personality and conforming to what qualifies as "normal" behaviour for people in my age group.

[kassiewoodruff]

maybe we share similar personality types?
I very much appreciate your feedback


LOL I update my facebook a lot too [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[kellybeth]

I like spending time alone. I'm with people all day at work and look forward to going home and hanging out by myself. I very rarely go out with my friends. In fact I have very few friends. In certain ways I wish I had more friends and more places to go but in other ways I just want to be left alone. I feel like I may have done it to myself. After years of me backing out of plans at the last minute and lots of 'reasons' I can't go somewhere I think that people just stoped asking me. It is sad but I did do it to myself.

But I am over all happy with the way my life is going. I could sit here and say I wish I had lots of friends and could go to parties and hang out all the time I really don't think that is what I want. At times it would be nice to have my phone ringing off the hook with tons of fun plans to made, but I don't, and Iam ok with it.

[kyle1989]

i am a misfit with people my age in many ways, i get along with older people. i don't keep up with typical television shows, i don't keep up with the latest films, i don't keep up with the radio and the latest music, i don't keep up with anything much that most people my age today, are interested in.

because of this, i have nothing to talk about with them, so because of taht, i never talk much in social situations, and i end up coming accross 'stern' or a bit cold, when really im not. im quite a warm person who's not afraid to be close friends with anyone from any walk of life.

I'm kind of the same way. I find most people my age shallow and boring, and they probably find me weird and boring (except for the few good friends I have.) I hate pop culture, I think most trends are stupid, and my topics of interest revolve more around politics, philosophy, literature etc.. rather than that party I got drunk at, or that new hollywood blockbuster. In short, I'm no fun. [img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

But to be honest I'm not sure if I'm that way because of emet, or if that's just how my personality turned out to be. Emet has definitely given me more time to myself, to develop interests that don't revolve around other people's interests, but I could just as well be spending all my alone time watching DVD's and TV while updating my status on facebook 18 times a day.

Strangely though, I don't regret any of this. I don't really care to become more socially active if that means changing my personality and conforming to what qualifies as "normal" behaviour for people in my age group.

spot on pretty much, i can completely relate to you.

although i will say this, (and this is kind of hypocritical of me, but then again i am a slightly complex character), i do enjoy those same superficial things, the parties, the talking about it after, etc, But just NOT all the Time. it gets boring, it gets old. i love a party, i love to watch my films (film buff), but i also like talking about what you have stated (the philosophy etc)..

i think emet effected my personally, Not Directly, it just put me in the direction to do so.

before emet became a big obstacle in my life, i was one of those superficial younger teenagers.

but then emet came along, it made me closed, i lost my friends, and we ended up moving home, i went from a life where i was Out ALL the time, to a life where i was stuck In all the time. i had to adapt, and basically, thanks to the internet i guess.. i became much more interested into those deeper things, and from being indoors all the time, it made me introverted.

at the moment im a combo of introverted and extroverted, i don't like the idea that my personality has to be tied down to one or the other, i like to be free, and i think im a bit of both.

[kristin1980]

I am total loner. I love my alone time. I don't do well with others. I feel
socially inapt all the time. When I do try to make friends and talk to
people. They look at me weird.
Then the friends I do have don't even invite me out anymore because
they know I will cancel last minute like I always do. When I do go out I
am a total wallflower but for me its hard its like when I meet new
people if they talk too much or too loudly its stimulation overload and I
want to crawl out of my skin and run away.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[psalm139]

I am so glad to hear I am not the only one who is a loner. my personaly type is kinda on the....diffcult side anyway so i don't make friends easily. I usally don't tell people of this i hide it well than I freak out later... [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

at least you have us here [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[carolyn1988]

I actually love being with friends but only close friends; people that I've known for a long time. I don't trust people much these days. I love to go out as well talking to people. I've actually always been like that before emet so I didn't let it ruin that! I do enjoy being alone sometimes though getting things done.

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