Hello and welcome,

The way you describe your reactions and feelings are exactly as I feel and behave.

I am 26 and have two little girls and I struggle so badly when they get ill. I literally have to force myself to be in the same room. I cant kiss or cuddle them and offer them comfort as I should - I just completely panic and feel like running. How awful is that when they are my children and I love them so much. It makes me feel terribly guilty.

Have you told people how you feel or spoken to a doctor at all? I had a really bad time a few weeks ago and finally asked for help - I'm on a waiting list for treatment for the phobia plus anxiety and OCD (all caused by the emetophobia).

This phobia effects my whole life and puts limits on everything I do. Like you I dont drink or socialise much etc and I'm very careful about what and where I eat. I too get the heart racing sweaty palms panic feeling often. And I should have shares in bleach!!!

Being on this site has helped me in that I dont feel alone or like such a freak and has given me the courage to admit to this phobia and tell people just how it affects me. I hope it helps you too xx