Googling to feeding your fear

[alexikiss]

Do any of you find yourselves Googling unhelpful things at times? For instance, if you have a particular fear regarding a vomit scenario, do you ever search things to find instances of that happening or look for "horror stories"?

I find that especially late at night, I'll start thinking and worrying about things when I'm all nice and safe in my bed...and then I'll have to turn my laptop back on and start looking up stuff that I know will bother me. It's almost like a compulsion, like I am feeding the fear or trying to validate it even. I don't always have this desire, but it's really annoying when I partake in it because I don't feel like it's helping me. I've mentioned it to a therapist and he just told me to distract myself with other things when I feel myself getting like that. Easier said than done, sometimes.

There is one particular site I go to every time where I look up keywords to torture myself with the findings. I hesitate to mention it here because I don't want to encourage others to start doing the same thing. Because it became addicting, haha. I would feel awful if others began doing it as well. In fact, I don't ever remember really searching about stuff like that until I started visiting *that* particular site. It has really poured gasoline on my particular fears as of late.

Can anyone relate to this? Anyone do anything like this? Any helpful ideas?

[asianeko]

I tend to completely avoid anything that will feed my fear, but I understand you still! If I get the urge to look at something that may trigger me, I just go to cuteoverload.com

[crd08]

I constantly look up medication side effects and symptoms of things. I know it's bad because when I find answers I didn't like I suddenly make myself think I have those symptoms.
I have been trying not to, though. I know it makes things worse.

[alexikiss]

Oh, I do that too! I avoid taking medicine unless it is absolutely necessary. Nausea is almost always a side effect, so there is no escaping that. Some people are just very sensitive to things in general, so you can't always believe what you read. Everyone is going to react differently anyway.

But yeah, I guess that's the same idea - but like I will go out of my way to Google about people who have had a bad experience taking (whatever drug) or someone who saw someone be ill (wherever). If I already have this fear in place, it will just reinforce it. The alternative would be to Google positive experiences and see that it also DOESN'T happen just as many times, if not more often than it does! That would be the "normal" way of looking at it.

I was just wondering if doing this type of thing was part of anyone else's phobic behavior.

[pretendworld_]

Yes I do this a lot. Whenever I have some spare time I will google just about anything that I know will invoke fear in me. I think in the beginning I did this to *try* and desensitize myself to the horror stories and thought it would make me realize how NORMAL v* is. Sadly it hasn't done that and it's hard to block out all of the stories I've read. I don't suggest it to anyone!

[darling]

I do this all the time. Fortunately, it hasn't really worsened my phobia. I actually have found some of the "horror stories" I've read to be entertaining and humorous. I have no idea why. I wouldn't have the same reaction if it happened to me personally.

[kellytrainer]

yes, i can relate. i also do this, esp. during sv* season. it's so ridiculous of me.

sometimes, i think i would be so much better without internet connection.

as much as i appreciate all of you, even this site can become a bit of an obsession when one is going through an anxious period.

there is one exception: i once came upon a story about a young man who was traveling in europe with his sports team and caught something early on. if i'm not mistaken, he spent 2 weeks v* several times a day. and he said he loved it. that it made him feel alive and like he was purifying/purging the nastiness in his system. talk about a different perspective!

[alexikiss]

yes, i can relate. i also do this, esp. during sv* season. it's so ridiculous of me.

sometimes, i think i would be so much better without internet connection.

Seriously! I don't remember thinking half of these things before the days of the internet or when there weren't so many sites for people to post their horror stories, etc. I'm sure I spent most of high school not even thinking and also touching my face and snacks and lunch with unwashed hands and although I may have gotten colds or sore throats, I never had an SV.

The internet is a blessing and curse. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this, though. Someone said the stories entertained them - most of the time I am in shock that the people relaying these stories are so nonchalant about them. It really is what you make of it, I guess.

[tman563]

The internet is probably both the best invention of modern world and the worst. It's up to each person which it is for them I guess. I just saw a woman on Dr. Phil today who was brought in by her daughter because she had become addicted to facebook games and had begun to ignore her family.

[Jill in Apartment 413]

I'm guilty of doing this too, actually. I find myself seeking it out, I've read so much about v*ing and SVs in general that I know all about it. There used to be a site I would go to (Won't mention it here) and look through the pictures...cause I'm a glutton for punishment I guess LoL. Yeah, so you aren't the only one who does it....I am guilty as charged.