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[keri607]

Hi all! My name is Keri and I am a 28 year old emetephobic. I have been living with this for 22 years and I am still fearful if not worse each and every day of my life. I have been in therapy, been medicated, been hypnotized... I have done it all. Am I missing something? Is there really anything that can be done to help me...I'm so sick of hearing "breath" "why panic when there's nothing to panic about" "take a Klonopin" "its just v* no one likes it"

Is there really any help...really...am I going to be constantly in fear that "omg I'm going to get car s*" "what if that makes me v*" "is that person going to v*" I feel like I'm going INSANE!!!! I know you all understand, but does a doctor understand....the answer to that is a BIG FAT NO! They brush it off, give you prozac, zolof, xanax, or klonopin and send you to therapy. Does the therapist ever understand?? "Its the fear of letting go" "its the fear of loosing control" "breath"....Here is a big middle finger to all you doctors and therapists who say you can help while laughing all the way to the bank with my million dollars worth of copays. Everyone says it comes from within....ok within....I DON'T WANT TO BE AFRAID ANYMORE!!!

I have already lost one child due to me freaking out about v*ing the entire time I was pregnant and now I can honestly say that I'm so scared to get pregnant again that I don't want to, and I know in the depths of my soul that I do want to try again, but the phobia stops me...how screwed up is that????

Sorry for being so blunt, but I'm mad....so so so so mad... I am an Ivy League educated director who is scared of v* and I'm pretty sure that no one/ nothing can help me...the only thing all the different medicines got me was 40lbs. That's right 40lbs all...and now I continue to gain weight as if I am still on the meds and no one knows why..."maybe a thyroid problem" "maybe stress" believe me, I have done all the tests...nothing is chemically wrong with my body....so now I'm a 180lbs fat phobic...with zero self esteem...thanks docs...thanks a lot...

I'm not new to this page, but this is my first post...is there really any help out there? Or am I just going to keep letting life pass me by with a phobia in one hand and a bottle of Purell in the other...

[olschesky]

i'm right there with you......sorry...wish i had the answer too.....been battling this for 50 years......and it makes no sense to me at all.....i get mad about it too.....frustrated, pissed off, etc.

coming here and reading and writing helps me alot........so here i will be

[stella9]

keri607,

Like Olschesky, I am rght there with you.

I know people have been cured of emet - maybe one or two who have claimed to be -- who knows if they are. Not to be negative, but I think that being cured of emet is more the exception than the rule. To expect to be cured is setting yourself up to feel .... well, exactly like you feel. The best an emet can do is try to manage their emet. Learn the patterns that are specific to you. When do you feel anxious? What makes you feel anxious? Then try to use coping techniques when those time spresent themselves.

I am sorry about your pregnancy loss? I am confused how you lost it due ot the emet. I know pregnancy can be frightening. I was pregnant early in my marriage and was soooooooo n** the entire time. The pregnancy was lost, but the memory of the n** not only lingered but intensified. I am so embarrased to say that I was almost relieved when I was no longer pregnant because I felt marvelous almost instantly. After being so sick and tired for six weeks, within one day I felt amazingly well. Needless to say, I did not want to rush into a new pregnancy any time soon. So I waited and waited and soon it became almost like a now or never thing. I have two children who are almost thirteen and eleven and a half. Pregnancy n** can be managed. These pregnancies were so different. I was n* but sea bands and Zofran became my best friends. After the first 13 weeks of the pregnancies, I felt magnificent. In fact, if I could bottle whatever hormone made me feel so wonderful, I would be the first in line to buy it!!!

Don't let emet stop you. Don't let it make you angry. It will rear its disgusting head a gazillion times, but you can overcome it. You have for 22 years.

As for your weight gain. Please have your thyroid checked out. Pregnancy loss often times leads to thyroid disorderss. It happened after my loss, but with some thyroid medication - Synthroid, it righted itself and I was able to go off the medication. Also note that stress increases cortisol in the body which is the prime cause of belly fat.

Lastly, as for the doctors not being much help, that seems to be the norm and not the exception. Some of the members of this board have been to therapists who don't know what emet even is.

I know this probably doesn't help much, but you do have the support of everyone here. We all know EXACTLY how you feel. We can help you through the tough times.

Stella

[keri607]

Thanks so much for your kind words. I have had my thyroid checked every month for the past 2 years...and it is normal...when I said I have done it all and had it all checked out, I meant it...endocrinologists, neurologists, obgyn, MRI's, sleep studies...the list keeps going. They have no idea why I'm gaining weight, and yes, my cortisol is the only logical answer, but how do calm down someone who is always in a state of panic and fear...you send them to therapy right, give them meds right? Then it just comes full circle again. I have tried almost every medicine out there and all it does is assist me in gaining more weight all while panicking and fearing v*ing

My obgyn said that when I lost my pregnancy I was so stress that that is what caused it....in the depths of my soul I do not believe her, but the words are always there running around in my head...I plan on trying again real soon, and the words that most emets NEVER utter, were the first words out of my mouth when I lost my daughter...I would have v*ed every day if it meant I could have kept her...

I guess I'm just mad that there is help for other things and not this...especially in the States...I see a lot more information available to people over seas, but not here...THIS SUCKS!