something comforting... but still not assured.

[troy-anna]

Hey
So i see my psychaitrist 2ce a week and we've been working together for a number of years on various things. ocd/emet/anxiety is what we've been working on lately. i HATE bringing up emet stuff with him (and this is a man who has seen me on the edge of death from a eating disorder on more than one occasion... so needless to say i trust him and he's an MD so medically i know he knows his stuff) because i KNOW it's so irrational and it just sound so silly to say the thoughts and behaviours outloud. it makes me very self conscious.

finally today i asked him - because a lot of the time i'm not sure i can really figure out what my body is telling me - if i'm gassy, hungry, full, or anything else stomach related, i'm SURE i've got an *sv and then start panicking and all of my avoidance behaviours and compulsions get so complicated that i retrace every single move i've made in an attempt to figure out if i'm really sick or just extremely anxious - so i asked him "will i know if i'm sick - will my body tell me?" and he said that i WOULD know if i was sick because i would *v - which nearly sent me into hysterics because i need to know BEFORE (as you may have guess i very rarely *v). Then he gave me time frames and told me that if i was *n and nothing happened and a 1/2 hour has passed then chances are it IS just anxiety.
so, now i have a time frame. which is really comforting because maybe i can just freak out for 1/2 hour and believe it's anxiety (tho that's going to be a hard one), and try to cope with the anxiety rather than the emet..

but now my head's thinking - but emets can feel *n for days (which i do, very very often) and not *v.

so, i'm confused.
insights?

[olschesky]

that's interesting and a little comforting......and confusing.....im like you....sometimes n for days.....is it all anxiety?

[asianeko]

I think 95% of emet N is anxiety. I used to be N every night before I went to bed, and really bad too! Looking back, I see that it's cuz I was nervous, since my bf had been ill in bed beside me before. If I was stressed, I'd get N. I was sensitive to my digestive system and any gas, and then I'd get nervous and N.

Now that I know how to keep my anxiety and panics under control, I'm rarely N, and when I am I usually know it's caused by anxiety.

[sage]

A heap of thanks is due to your psychiatrist for that 30-minute time frame. Even that is a long time to be anxious. But definitely once you understand that it IS anxiety, then you can work on relaxation techniques, breathing, etc. instead of continuing to have your anxiety escalate. Once you calm down, the "nausea" will go away - just remember that.

Take care!

[troy-anna]

i am greatful for your responses. i logically understand that is 99.9 % of the time it IS anxiety. but it's so hard when those intrusive thoughts about getting ill and not being at home (safe place) start shaking my entire soul. one step at a time. i'm trying something new that seems to be giving me some relief - it's a form of grounding that helps me keep myself aware, in positive ways, not just in the all-encompassing emet ways - of my environment and my place in it. In 5's i make myself aware of my senses in the present. "what do i feel physically? - i feel my feet on the floor, my hands on my jeans, i feel my hair against my cheeks, etc" and i do this for a few senses, mostly sound and visual and it brings me back to the present so that i can regroup and focus.

it's so hard, battling all of these things, but i can't for a second let myself to believe that this is my state forever. doing the heavy lifting is hard though. hard hard process.

peace to you all, (and stable stomachs lol),
troy-anna

[lemonchar]

A positive "spin" I put on all the extraneous n* I feel from day to day (anxiety, legit hunger, legitimate indigestion etc.) is that it's good preparation for if, one day, you get nv and need to control the n* so that you don't v*. Actually I don't even know the difference between illness-related n* and anxiety-related n*, so it's easy to talk myself down and say "you're just anxious, it will pass," etc. Same with hangovers...if I think I've been exposed to a nv, sometimes I will drink too much on purpose so that the hangover will mask any real sickness and I can "explain" the sick feelings to myself and wait for it to pass.

[lisalulu]

When I'm n* I do something distracting- go online, do Sudoku, read a funny book, clean anything that calms me. If the n* goes away, even for a few minutes, I know it's anxiety. When you're s* the nausea lasts no matter how distracted/relaxed you are.

3 other ways to tell if you aren't coming down with a sv
-you're hungry or were recently
-you've had a normal bowel movement or peed recently
- you've farted recently

if those things happen, you aren't sick!

[mojo8]

When I'm n* I do something distracting- go online, do Sudoku, read a funny book, clean anything that calms me. If the n* goes away, even for a few minutes, I know it's anxiety. When you're s* the nausea lasts no matter how distracted/relaxed you are.

3 other ways to tell if you aren't coming down with a sv
-you're hungry or were recently
-you've had a normal bowel movement or peed recently
- you've farted recently

if those things happen, you aren't sick!

This may be a stupid question but how do you know you're not sick if you've had a normal bowel movement or peed recently? Just curious.

[lisalulu]

Because when a sv is brewing your digestive system goes into arrest. Pooping, peeing and farting are signs that it's still moving along normally.

[mojo8]

Oh, I see. Thanks!