I didn't help clean it up.. I need advice

[impulse]

Over the weekend this guy came up to hang out with me @ my college, and we all drank. We went back to my dorm room and he laid down in my bed and started puking everywhere. I freaked out and left the room..

I finally puked for the first time in my life about a month ago, it freaked me out and I cleaned it up. But I feel like I HAD to, because it was mine and I wasn't so scared of it because it came from me..is that weird? Anyway.

My roommate (also one of my best friends from high school) kept coming to talk to me in the bathroom while this boy was puking..she said she was taking care of it, stripped my bed and started washing everything. I kept apologizing and felt bad, but she said she understood my phobia and that she'd take care of it & that I'm not going to want to go back in the room yet.

He left later on & I went to go check on my laundry, I took her bedspread with me to wash it for her too. I came back in our room and she just started yelling at me, telling me that I should have "sucked it up" and helped her, that I'm still stuck in high school and that I act like a child and that I should clean up my messes. She put the situation all over Facebook, and now people are getting involved that shouldn't be. There's adults/parents on Facebook that have access to her posts. It's just all getting out of hand. She told me I should understand her situation more than my own and that I should've helped her. I ran out of the room when he started puking because I thought since it finally happened to me I could deal with it, but I was definitely wrong. The fear rushed back through me again and I went to hang out in the bathrooms.

So now, my roommate/best friend won't talk to me, and is slowly getting everyone on her side. I just don't know what to do. I need advice..

[catlobster]

It seems like there is more to this story...why was she nice and understanding one moment, then did a 180? What is she telling people on FB exactly? And what is her "situation" that you should be more understanding of?

[impulse]

1. I have no idea, honestly..I'm guessing once she started telling people about it, they got her all fired up.
2. She wrote out the whole night play-by-play on her page for everyone to see because she was complaining about how angry she was with the whole situation.
3. She said her situation was the fact that she was the only one cleaning up after him while I didn't help and didn't come in the room. But she told me that I'm not going to want to go back in the room until she cleans it up.

[griffdiz]

Does she know about your emet? It sounds like even if she does she isn't really understanding it. Maybe you could print out some info about it for her and tell that you're really sorry you couldn't help her clean it up but your phobia prevented you from that. If she still continues acting this way you need to reevaluate your friendship with her. Sounds to me like she is acting like the one who is in high school.

[catlobster]

Sounds like she's making this into a lot of drama where there doesn't need to be any. You should just confront her, ask her why is she so upset, when you thought she was trying to help you out. She's probably pissed that she had to clean it, even if she offered to do it for you- even for non-emets, it's not exactly on their top ten list of fun things to do (and if it is, well, there are deeper issues there!). So she's probably having a drama-queen moment, spun up from other people's comments. The last thing you should do is get defensive about it. Let her have her hissy fit. It might embarass you a bit, but those that know and love you will understand, and a few weeks later you'll laugh it off. I remember my college time, where things like that would happen, and I would want to die...now we just laugh about it (mostly because I haven't changed at all in 10 years in respect to emet!). Just tell her, hey, thank you for helping me out the other night, I appreciate it more than you know. Maybe get her a little gift ($20 starbucks card or something) to say thank you. She'll cool down real fast...just don't escalate or get defensive....then the opposite will happen. Good luck!

[impulse]

thanks so much everyone. I bought her a cake, made a list of all the characteristics I love about her, and wrote an apology. I put it all in our room on her desk. I hope everything does work out okay, we'll see when she gets back tonight.. it's nice to know that there's people who understand this phobia and that I'm not alone.

[misplacedangels]

Well, if she was that upset about it she should of left it for you. If she wanted to help that is one thing, but if she didn't then she should of let you take care of it (eventually..teehee). Being exposed to things like this is good for you believe it or not. Since my kids have been sick so much this year I have become numb to them being sick. It almost does not even phase me anymore. You deal with the mess, find out you do not get sick when you do, and are happy afterwards.

[catlobster]

Impulse...how did things turn out?

[teh folder]

Over the weekend this guy came up to hang out with me @ my college, and we all drank. We went back to my dorm room and he laid down in my bed and started puking everywhere. I freaked out and left the room..

I finally puked for the first time in my life about a month ago, it freaked me out and I cleaned it up. But I feel like I HAD to, because it was mine and I wasn't so scared of it because it came from me..is that weird? Anyway.

My roommate (also one of my best friends from high school) kept coming to talk to me in the bathroom while this boy was puking..she said she was taking care of it, stripped my bed and started washing everything. I kept apologizing and felt bad, but she said she understood my phobia and that she'd take care of it & that I'm not going to want to go back in the room yet.

He left later on & I went to go check on my laundry, I took her bedspread with me to wash it for her too. I came back in our room and she just started yelling at me, telling me that I should have "sucked it up" and helped her, that I'm still stuck in high school and that I act like a child and that I should clean up my messes. She put the situation all over Facebook, and now people are getting involved that shouldn't be. There's adults/parents on Facebook that have access to her posts. It's just all getting out of hand. She told me I should understand her situation more than my own and that I should've helped her. I ran out of the room when he started puking because I thought since it finally happened to me I could deal with it, but I was definitely wrong. The fear rushed back through me again and I went to hang out in the bathrooms.

So now, my roommate/best friend won't talk to me, and is slowly getting everyone on her side. I just don't know what to do. I need advice..

My epic advice:*

- Say she is an insensitive person for not understanding your phobia.
- Be like, "LOL I didn't have to help you loser!" or "Haters be Hatin!"
- Ignore Her, anyone who clings on to a situation like that for more the a week has issues.
- Pamper her and make her feel like a baby as an insult.
- Pee on her shoes or cloths. Assert your authority over the territory.
- Ignore the people getting involved - they need to find hobbies.
- Sabotage her Farmvill.
- Kick her from your Mafia in Mafia Wars.
- Kill her in Mafia Wars.

*Taking this advice my not actually help you.

[katieemma]

She sounds like she wants attention for cleaning up the mess...she might have been feeling sorry for herself afterwards. But still friends shouldnt behave like that, my friend Justin was around when I last V* and i didnt make it to the bathroom and he cleaned it up without moaning...stayed with me till I was better and never once made me feel like I should have been cleaning it up myself. Thats cos hes known about my emet for years, I think anyone whose worth knowing should be willing to accomodate things like that....I always catch spiders for him...so i guess were equal! x

[amarkham01]

That sounds like a very weird situation!!! I can't believe she would offer to clean it up and be all comforting, and then freak out like that!! The only thing I can think of is that maybe she offered, thinking it was just a small mess, and then realized it was a HUGE mess and got mad? In any case, if she really wanted you to help her, she shouldn't have said you didnt' have to and then just expect you to somehow magically know she's changed her mind...that's so crazy. Hopefully you guys are back to being best friends by now

I remember one time when I was in uni, this guy came home from a party with me and some other friends, and when he got back to my apartment, he did not look well, I was like "OH FUCK!!! go to the bathroom!!!!!! GO NOW!! GO NOW!!!!" and he just didn't and didn't and jsut sat there, like half passed out, then finally jumps up, runs to the KITCHEN, and gets sick in my crockpot on the way to the bathroom!! He then passed out ON (not over) the toilet and didn't come out until the next morning. THAT is when I made him clean EVERYTHING up and kicked him out!!!! Needless to say, I never used the crockpot again.

SO for next time....make the puker clean up the puke. Then everyone is happy (except fo the puker)

[abbi]

How is everything now?