hopeless..please give me the cure

[gcepeda]

hey everyone! im new here...my name is gaby and ive been an emetophobe since i was 9 years old...i think it was caused by a guy named matt davis who v* literally everyday at lunchtime while i was eating. i rmemember praying everyday that he would move away and finally he did. but now my life is ruined because of him. i have hit a new low....i am feeling completely hopeless and im letting this phobia get the best of me. last night i went on the subway, where i have my usual panic attacks but this time i almost walked in a pile of v* on the floor. i jumped off the train and panicked for a few minutes, then i felt fine. i couldnt believe it that i was ok after five minutes...this was the NASTIEST v* too....and i was ok i thought that maybe i was defeating this phobia. then today i went to ratemyvomit.com and looked at HORRIBLE Pictures....some of the grossest shit ive ever seen...and i was totally okay...just a little queasy but nothing too bad. i was feeling great...and now all of sudden i am having a huge anxiety attack and iam TERRIFIED of the idea of ever going on public transportation again..even planes. before i would go on whatever and just pray no one throws up but now i really refuse to go on any public trans ever again. i read a bunch of v* stories on airplanes for some reason and now i am panicking soo bad and never want to go again. how am i going to snap out this?? its taking over my life and sometimes i seriously want to die because i dont know if ill everbe cured and if ill ever live a normal worry free life. i have no money, i cant afford a psychologist. im considering hypnosis but im afraid it wont work. PLEASE SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME THE CURE. im ready bc if not...i dont know how much longer i can live. im a happy person seriously...i could be the happiest person in the world if it werent for this!! i just dont see an end...i cant handle it. it breaks my heart bc i want to have children with my boyfirned one day but i am so terrified....i know kids puke all the time without warning...how can i deal with that? but today i looked at pics and just thought to myself...its just food and water...its not so gross...why cant i think that all the time?? if u showed me a pic of v* but told me it was diarrhea i wouldnt even care! what is it ab the fact that its vomit that makes me so crazy? i hate this phobia with all my heart and i want to destroy it with every fiber of my being. im determined...but how? please someone give me a clue...
thanks

[olschesky]

wish i had a cure for you.....i've suffered with this for over 50 years........but have been able to live a semi normal life..........i don't fly...that's still a big no no for me.....but i do work, have a husband....no kids....and pretty much try to rationalize my way out of a panic attack...

ive been on the subway lots when i go to nyc........just try and remember how many times you've been on public transport and no one was sick and you didn't see v..............so one time out of all those times should not keep you away.......keep telling yourself that.

i have my rough times too and it sounds like you're in one now..........push yourself a little each day out of your comfort zone............don't let this one episode set you back......you can do this

[gcepeda]

it scares me when i try to tell myself that ive never seen someone vomit on public trans. i always think that im gonna jinx myself! same way ill never tell someone the last time i threw up bc i think im gonna jinx myself and end up throwing up that night. i am not a superstitious person at all either...only when it comes to v*! ::sigh::

[BreaRose]

I understand completely what you mean, gcepeda. I've flown 2 times in my life and the second time I did, the pilot did this down up down up down up thing with the plane when we were going to land and it made me totally dizzy and n*. Of course, I didn't v* because...well duh, i'm emet. But I was feeling sick for the rest of the day thanks to that and ever since then, I've been VERY scared to go on a plane. I live in Idaho and we don't have subways (the part of the state I live in barely has public transportation at all [ie: busses, cabs, ect.] ) so that's never been an issue for me but I'm pretty sure I would have screamed like a little baby if I had almost stepped in v*.

I'm in the same boat as you though, I have no money to go toward a psychologist and I'm extremely skeptical of hypnosis. I will say this though: what do you have to lose TRYING hypnosis? I mean, worst case senario it doesn't work and you're just back to square one. Also, sometimes I feel brave and I'll open up ratemyvomit.com but I can never actually bring myself to look at the pictures. In a different thread, I asked about doing a self exposure and I got an AWESOME website to do a slow and easy exposure. The key to this is to be honest with your feelings and just taking it slow and steady, taking a good long time to look at and analize the picture before moving on. The problem with exposure therapy to some emets is that if it's too intense at once, it could re-traumatize and just reinforce the anxiety and panic we feel.

http://www.emetophobia.bravehost.com/

There is the website. Unfortunatly, there's no magic cure for this just like a lot of other things.
Good luck and please continue to vent here if you need to. That's what we're here for.

[gcepeda]

ive looked at the link you sent me and got thru the whole thing..i only felt anxiety for the last two pictures...but compared to ratemyvomit.com it was NOTHING! this website is so sick i dont understand these people who go on there for fun....i think they are so f*cking stupid but at the same time id do anything to be like them! i just dont knoe the right way to go about this bc i can look at the website and feel fine but then a few hours later is when i truly start panicking bc i start thinking ab it obsessively. i dont konw the right approach..i dont want to make this phobia worse...
just look at pics and then gradually move on to videos..and then maybe one day real life? my boyfriend said to me...if someone vomits in front of you, you will just feel scared but u wont die. why is it that the fear of someone vomiting is worse than the idea of someone putting a gun to my head ? well i guess that would be pretty scary too...shit i am just lost i need to get over this asap

[BreaRose]

I agree with what your boyfriend said. Maybe try moving from pictures to just sound then to video with sound.

I just wouldn't want you to push it and be taking steps backward instead of forward. Make sure that you're comfortable (you know, as much as you can be with someone vomiting :P ) in a video before you go on a video spree or something. I understand the need to get this over and done with, but things do take time. And there's really no way around that.

Also, you said that it's after you see the pictures you panic later? It might be that you put on your blockers at the time because you know what's coming and so you shut yourself off. Deal with it then. And then later when it's over, you remove those barriers and those emotions flood in? I'm not a psychologist or anything but maybe that could be what's going on? I dunno, sorry if I'm not helping

[bearfriend52]

hi,
I am new here. my son was sick ast ngt, so scared I am next. I am am a nervous wreck.can anyone helpme