WHY DOES IT HAPPEN

[trickyvicky]

Guys i know i havent posted for a while but i'm in shreads at the moment,as some of u know i don't have any contact with my family,i.e mum and dad and this is over my brother......so i've been without contact from them about 6weeks.........well tonite i got a visit from my cousin,who has been at my nans bedside all day as she is dying.She's been ill for 3weeks but doctors told my mum that she was dying last weekend.....well i don't know why i'm shocked but my parents couldn't even pick up the phone to tell me this......so of course this evening i'm feeling sick and don't know what to do.....of course as i have problems getting out i haven't seen my nan fora good few yrs about 2....people have offered to take me to c her this evening but it was gone 9'oclock and with the combination of shock,fear of going to an old peoples home(as they are always warm) and angry that my own family couldn't even tell me my nan is dying and has been for a whole week,i just feel sick to the stomach....apparantley my mum was going to e-mail.......that would have been nice of her!!!!!!!. 'm not going to complain about my life and how these things affect my life as it arrelavant with my nan dying.....if she is still alive tomorrow,should i go and c her,or remember her as i saw her 2yrs ago.or live with the anger of not saying goodbye....I just feel so confused....


i'm not expexting for answers guys i just don't have anyone to turn to no family or real friends and i just wanted to get this off my chest.....i don't think it will help but its worth a try


take care


vicky

[Jenneh]

Vicky -- im so so sorry to hear this... this is truly very immature of ur parents to not even pick up the fone to say this.


i personally think u shud try and go see her 2morro -- so that u hav no regrets about not being ther for her. if u go see her, u did all u can under the circumstances.


to be honest ithink i'll be of more use tlkin to u on MSN -- so i'll go do that now....


love u tho.. lots.


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jazz]

hey vicky, im so sorry you had to hear this news in that way.
I agree with jen, I personally think that you would feel happier,and more content knowing that you made the best ofyour oppurtunity to say goodbye.
If your parents aren't civil enough to tell you properly, then you should definately go anyway because right now your Nan is the prime concern.


Like you said, would you be able to live with the anger and dissatisfaction of never saying goodbye? Try to go, but it won't be your fault if you're not strong enough to face this type of scary situation. This must be very upsetting for you, be strong xx

[faith-marilyn]

*hug* u know im here xxxxxxx

[terified girl]

Vicky, it is really sad to hear what is going on with you and your parents, and your nan being so ill. I am in a similar situation with someof my family and trust me when I say, immaturity is in even the most mature person when they are hurt and angry, I am not making excuses for your parents not calling to let you know about your nan, because it would have been a very good reason to call you and sort of break the silence between the 3 of you, but as I said, sometimes a person will be very hard headed, knowing they are wrong in what they are doing, and they will regret it later on in life.....Don't punish your nan for them, go visit her, be strong, because you know that deep down inside you do want to say good-bye to her. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked if you should go.


Don't let this opportunity to see her once more slip, remember, maybe she's been holding on for a whole week because she wants to see you.


I hope I've helped and I'm trying to push you because I think you really do want to go see her.


Let us know what you decide.

[trickyvicky]

Thanks for your kind words guys,its times like this that i think,why do i worry about my emet and life when there are more important things to be worried about,like someone u love dying.....i'm going to sleep on it,thats if i can,and if she is still alive tomorrow i will go and visit.like faith marilyn has said i can do it,what ever life throws at me I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!I know that my anger towards my own parents is not going to help my nan,i need to say good bye and i know i have to do it while she is alive.....i've said goodbye before when my uncle had died and i went to the funeral directors,never again it tore me apart and i want to remember her as she was,not when its to late......so wish me luck guys,this damn agrophobia is not going to get the better of me,when i need to be strong....


i will keep u up to date thanks again guys


take care vicky xx

[faith-marilyn]

good 4 u hunny, do what u have to do, dont let anything stop u xxx

[trickyvicky]

well guys unfortunately i got the call this morning to say my Nan had passed away at 11am,i don't know if it was peacefully as i haven't heard from my family.But i so hope she did......At this time i am feeling so sick,through tears and anger,but at this moment i have to forget about why my family didn't contact me and focus on my Nan......I really want to go to the funeral as its my way of showing my last respects......All i feel comfort at is i now know that my nan will be met by my auntie and they finally meet again....This brings so much warmth to me.......But still i just wish my relationship with my mum was stronger and at such a time of pain and loss,i wish i could be there for her to support and cry with her......but i know that our relationship has stopped that from happening...thankyou so much to the people that replyed and this means so much to me.....And I'm not just saying that,it does mean so much ,as alot of u are aware i don't have anyone in my life so u guys are so special to me......and all your kind words are so appreciated,last nite on msn i had so many people come to my aid,just to c how i was,and u guys know who u are!!!!!!!!


take care and lets hope the pain gets easier


Vicky xxx

[Scampi]

Vicky - you will remember your Nan in a good way even if you do visit her now. I saw both my Grandmas just before they died - one the day before and the other just an hour or so before she died at home... But when I think of them I see them as they were when I was a little girl - laughing and healthy, not the frail old ladiesI saw when I said Goodbye. Forget the rest of your family and visit your Nan, as much for your sake as for hers. I know that the agrophobia makes the visits extra hard, but I promise you it will be worth the effort. You are in my thoughts.


Best wishes, Jill xxx

[mbs730]

I'm so sorry to hear this I dont know if this is very comforting but... she is somewhere better I'm sure


Miriam

[Jenneh]

Vicky -- im so sad to come onto this thread and hear that news. but you were so strong and brave to say "agoraphobia is not going to get the better of me" im sure your nanisvery proud. take comfort knowing that shes above you protecting you (if thats what you believe).


ill be on MSN anytime you want to talk.


thinking of you, now + forever


Jen xxxxxxxx

[clairethebear]

Vicky you bring tears to my eyes. We are all here for you. You are a fantastic person in dealing with all that you do when others would just crack. Thinking of you Vicky. Keep talking to us and PM me anytime you like. You are special Vicky. We all are on this site. x.

[faith-marilyn]

*hug* im so sorry Vicky, I hope you are okay. You and your nan, even your family our in my thoughts right now. Hope to speak to you soon.
Love always xxxxxxx