if your intrested....

[lelliottxx]

hey everyone!
so if you have read my other posts you may or may not know that i have sufferd with emetophobia from birth and here is a link to my website that talks about my experience and like with it, if you have a look please leave a comment and let me know what you think, i worte it at about 5am in the morning when i couldent sleep, so sorry if the spelling is a bit off :P

thank you!


http://hubpages.com/hub/Emetophobia-my-experience

[damean29]

i just read your website and i totally relate to you. I spend all day planning and strategizing ways to cope with this fear. I would like to point out a few things. Some of your phobia appears to be social anxiety. Now you probably HATE hearing this, are about to totally discount what i ahve to say, and might already think that i do not understand. I thought these three things right away as soon as my wife suggested it to me and my therapist. But upon analyzing it, i am starting to lean towards my fears as a social anxiety. First let me tell you what I fear:: V*, V* in public or any social situation, feeling N* at anytime or any social situation, i fear bloating, sometimes belching, indigestion, gas, the BUG, i fear someone else V, or evn saying they feel N*. All these fears make me want to run away from wherever i am and be alone. I fear that the smell or taste of all condiments (mustard, ketchup, mayo) could make me V*. I refuse tot ry any new food other than my "safe" foods for fear they will make me V*. I am obsessed with trying to avoid things thhat could make me V* or feel N*. I could go on and on. Let me get to the point. Every person on this planet gets scared or feels a warning or gets grossed out (even if they say the dont) when someone V*. This is normal. Feeling N* and like V* are normal reactions to anxiety. Every person on this planet experiences anxiety sometime in their life (death of a loved one, divorce, bad car accident, etc). What if, because of some unknown reason/cause, you experienced anxiety many times and/or continuosly, and each time you felt N*, queasy, and/or like V*? Now because the anxiety is so continuous or extreme, and the physical and natural result of this is that the body feels S*. (Note: each time we experience anxiety - the body shoots adrenanline and other chemicals - N* and everything else associated with it are natural and real side effects of these chemicals) So everytime you feel anxiety, you focus and become obsessed only with the phsycial symptoms (such as N* and V*). Then its only natural to think everytime you feel anxiety, you feel N* or V*. Again its only natural you develop the fear of N* and V*. Any normal person would fear N* and V* if thats what they really felt like every day. What i am saying is that what if emetophobia developed as a response to anxiety and that the original anxiety was caused by something else? For me, every little stressor in my life has become an indistinguishing part of my fear of N* and V*. Example: i can no longer tell the difference between normal stomach and digestive processes and my fear of V* Also, each time i get into a stressful situation, i feel like it could "trigger" my emet. If we always feel like N* and V*, then of course we will always fear them. This all takes serious reflection and analysis and is very difficult. Its still a work in progress.

[lelliottxx]

hi damean29,
for a start thank you for taking the time to read my story
what you said in the first half about some of the symptoms you have with emetophobia like the V* in a social situation and feel N* in social situations and the fear of catching a bug and being careful of what you eat and being bloated and the digestesing and so on...
these are the EXACT same things i get! i can tell that you are someone who knows EXACILY what i am going through! can i ask, how long have you had emetophobia?
so are you saying that aniexty and nerves ect.. are all normal human emotions that people have throughout there life, but because emotions like nerves and axciety make people feel a bit sick or can even make them V* in extreme situations, even though thats a normal human raction, because we are emetophobes when we feel anxiety or any emotion that could make us feel sick even a little bit we then turn it straight into our fear of V* and we begin to panick when really its just a normal human raction but we make it worse with our fear?

[damean29]

Yes and No. I am still figuring this out. First lets talk about anxiety. Anxiety is a normal healthy human emotion. Its a way for our bodies to tell us "This is dangerous." As soon as this happens, our brain tells the body to shoot adrenaline and other chemicals. This is partly to let us know we are in danger and also for the "Fight or Flight" response. If someone is trying to kill you, you might defend yourself (fight) or attempt to run away (Flight). Now this flight or fight response can be modifed. Most people would run away UNLESS they received some kind of training and conditioning (soldiers, firefighters, and police). Even these guys experience anxiety in life and death situations but they have been trained or conditioned to goon fighting. They too get the boost of adrenaline and all the chemicals. they may even feel a bit sick afterwards. This is basically what happens to us each time we feel anxiety except we choose flight like the need to be alone or not to enter a social situation that we think can cause V*. However, the difference is that when "normal" people experience anxiety due to a stressful situation, their bodies only produce one shot of the adrenaline and other chemicals. These people are able to cope with that and "move on" or deal with the situation. In us, our bodies will produce several shots of the adrenaline and other chemicals. So of course we feel S* from all the adrenanline and chemcials. think about it. Count the number of times you felt anxiety and fear in one day, and you have a near accurate count of how many adrenaline boosts your body produced. If you have continuous anxiety, than your body is continually producing adrenaline and other chemcials. Analyze and record your symptoms when you hear one of your triggers....For me it could be my wife asking to go out to eat. As soon as she asks me, i get a "pit in my stomach" feeling. This is a fear. However, it also is my body "warning" me i will be in "danger" if i go out to eat with my wife. My body's biological (physical) response causes me to feel anxiety which also causes the adrenaline boost. At first i start to feel fear, then i start to feel nervous and i might shake. This nervousness and shaking are the First real physical effects of the adrenaline. If my fear continues and i keep thinking "oh no," my body produces more adrenaline to "warn" me. Then i start to sweat and my plams become clammy. Now i start to fear these physicla symptoms also so of ocurse my body produces more adrenaline and other chemicals. Its like my body is telling me "Danger! Danger!" then i start feeling bloated and N*. Again i continue to fear these symptoms so my body produces more adrenaline. eventually, i keep OBSESSING about N* and V* and i might have a full fledge panic attack. Now when i have these, i have to get to a bathroom and be alone. This is my safe zone. I usually get dry mouth and then intense saliva and i am convinced i will V*. I also have a bowel movement - D*like. After severla minutes of all this and some heart racing, i usually calm down and recover. Then i spend the rest of the day fearing the panic attack and any symptoms associated with it. I convince myself if I dont eat then i won't get N* or V*. now notice a couple of things. First, i never actually V* during my panic attack. Second, my focus is totally on the physical symptoms - that having any of them could lead ot a panic attack or N* or V*. Now i am so screwed up that any normal stressful situation that causes a normal reaction such as being upset if i get in an arguement with my wife or getting nervous in a social situation - I associate these stressors as factors that can cause any phsyical symptom related to V*. I have lots more to discuss but i will leave you with a recommendation. EDUCATE yourself about what anxiety really is - including allof its mental/emotional./and physical symptoms. Most people think anxiety is a mental disease or a sense of insanity. Frist Its JUST AS MUCH PHYSICAL. Second, anxiwty is not a mental disease or sense of insanity or craziness. It is a NORMAL human response that every human has. In us it happnes ot occur more and for reasons that we know may be ridiculous but we also know we can not control them. Reading all these fposts i see that we all tend to focus heavily on the physical symptoms instead of the mental/emotional processes. A good book ot start with i picked up at Borders is called "Anxiety Disorders: everything you need to know" by J. Paul Caldwell. It discusses anxiety disorders, panic attacks, and some phobias (emet is mentioned but called Vomiting phobia). I am here and willing to listen and share. And you r very welcome.

[damean29]

And i have had this a slong as i can remember. My earliest memory is at about age 5 maybe 6. You said you had an incident around age 2. All the research i have done states that we can not remember anything prior to age 3, although there have been extreme cases. Did someone retell this story to you so you somehow thought you remembered? For example, the feelings you get are so wired into you that it is possible that you can equate them with past memories.

[emmalinda]

i think you just repeated my whole life

[lelliottxx]

i think i understand what your saying is that because like a ''normal'' person who exeriences aniexty will only let out one andrenilin rush that makes them feel a bit sick, emetophobes like us let out a number of endorphans and andrinilan becuase were panicking at the same time and that then makes us feel physical ill and i dont know if you like me but when i panick i start to physically feel as though im about to be sick and make myself have the symptoms of it which i think you mentioned when you said your safe place is going to a toilet until you calm down, all that stuff you mentioned about what happens to you whilst your haveing a panick attack is excacily what happens to me and you do make yourself feel as though your going to be sick, which then offcorse makes you panick more.
thank you very much for commenting because ive learnt alot from you and if you have any more experiences i would be happy to hear them, you have taught me alot that i wasent aware of before!

yeah the incident that happened when i was 2, i dont remember it, but my mum keeps telling me that was where it all began, so your right i dont remember it personally its just what my mum has always told me was the first signs of me having emetophobia and from then on its been controlling my life.
as you will understand because you have also had this from a very early age, is that its harder for us to overcome it because we have never expericned life without it, we have always known a life with emetophobia and nothing else.
can i ask you something else, you say you have a wife so im guessing that means your grown up, i was just waundering what it was like for you growing up with it up to the point where you are now if you dont mind me asking because like i said on my website that im only 17, and one of the things that scares me the most is what its going to be like growing up into adult hood with this phobia because all i can see at the moment is it getting worse and maybe being so bad in the future that it will effect me having children when im older unless i get some help.

[damean29]

Your are very insightful, obviously intelligent, and best of all, polite and courteous. These three things will easily enable you to become a successful adult so i would not worry about that. you may not relaize it, but your emet and anxiety have had some POSITIVE effects on you. First, it has taught you to be a strategic thinker due to the fact the we are always trying to prevent it. Second, your thoughts and descriptions about youself and emotions are pretty much light years ahead of other kids your age. How do I know this? I am a teacher! Imagine that! Third, like most of us, you probably watch what you eat (and the amount that you eat) alot better than the "normal" people out there. In the long run, this will prove very useful. I am 33 and most of my friends look 10-15 years older than me because they are so out of shape. They complain anytime we do a phsyical activty (football, baseball, etc) while I never sweat it.

[lelliottxx]

thank you! i never really thought of that, because were emetophobes we think more deeper and about life.
oh your a teacher! hope not a maths one, i hated maths! haha (sorry if you are!)
yeah i guess the fact that we watch what we eat is a good thing because we stay in shape, i never really thought of it like that!
thank you again, i have learned alot!

[damean29]

While i say that i had this all my life - when i was your age and younger - i did not relaize it. i just thought it was the way I was because i was that way for so long. I had no idea what anxiety was and it was like a forbidden word in my household because that meant you were crazy (which we know is not the case). I didnt put a finger on it until i was about 26 and then still contiued to deny it until quite recently. Somehow i have beenn able to cope with this curse. I was in the Army for three years and did really well there. I feared nothing (except V* and N* and never told anyone). Evenually in my ealry 20s i kept asking mysel. why do i always feel sick? I think all the challenges the Army made me face helped me deal with it. now that i am years out of the Army, i have no other dangers so i think that could be why it resurafces time and again. Its alwasy there but its like i go through cycles. I might have few symtpoms for weeks and be able to eat really well. Then it hits me and i will feel and fear N* and V* all the time and have trouble eating routine meals. All in all, my mind and body has learned to adapt and cope in situations so i have been able hide this from everyone. I would not worry about the future but worry about educating yourself on all of this and trying to improve yourself. That has got to be your goal! Stay positive. You are already miles ahead because yu have been able to admit osmething is wrong at such a young age. How i wish i would have. My best advice is to go to therapy!!

[lelliottxx]

i imagine that was quite hard not being able to put a finger on whatt the aniety was when you were my age and younger, just thinking that anxiety meant you were crazy! which is deffinatly not the case!
well today i started new treatment, well i went for an introduction this morning which made me very anxious, but now its over i am feeling postivie just nervous that it wont work, but i really want to overcome this! espeshially before i move out and start living life on my own. i hope you overcome yours aswell and im glad you have come to terms with your phobia now and you can work on getting help now

[damean29]

Ditto! May I ask what kind of treatment? Are you seeing a therapist? I have only just started seeing one. I too have had positive feelings afterwards. Its funny, i know what is wrong with me, i understand the science and psychology of it, but i still can not figure out why and how to stop it.

[Thefloyd12]

Wow that's alota good information. Damean maybe u can give me a little advice my problem is for some reason everywhere I've gone in the past 6 years I have to have a cold drink on me at all times or i gag. Except at home. I have been told it's anxiety and it must be. But without anything to do with feeling sick I guess when I get nervous I gag? But it's gotten so bad I don't bother leaving the house and I feel like I just gave up living. Because I don't know why I gag wethernit be somthing wrong with me or a reaction to anxiety? If you have any info I'd appreciate it

[lelliottxx]

damean29, i have just started the treatment called EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and reprocessing) im not sure if you will have heard of it, im not to sure about it either at the moment, i only had my first session yesterday which was an introduction so my theropist could find out more about my emetophobia, its meant to work really well, so hopefully! whats you treatment called?

thefloyd12, that sounds horrible! im sorry to hear that you having such a hard time with it at the moment, but dont give up, i am also at the point where i dont want to leave the house, but find someone to help you like a family member or a friend and think about theropy because it might really help you!

[jadepanic]

I am very confused,as i have read here that u cannot remember anything under age 3 is it??? however I remember on 2 occations when i was days old...i also rememebr being about 14 months,18 months and i remember LOADS of things that I did at age 2.....