Thought I was getting better...

[Emjay]

I started eating normally again. I was worried about eating things and now "being picky" about food is getting worse. I made some wings from frozen. They said fully cooked on the box so basically you just have to heat them up right? I made them and they looked pink. Chicken should never be pink. So I didn't eat dinner. I'm starving myself now and its only going to get worse. I want to eat them, but I know if I do I will think about the fact that I ate them all night. I'm so hungry. I'm frustrated. I'm upset. And I just needed to vent about this.

I had some salad that I prepared myself. It's not enough. I can feel my stomach growling at me because I'm hungry. I tend to not eat full meals because feeling full is not a good feeling for me. I usually snack all day on different things. I'm not healthy. I'm not happy. I'm sad. I'm sad and I can't get over this stupid phobia. I'm sick of living like this.

Anyone with any suggestions, would be helpful.
Thank you for reading.

-Em

[BreaRose]

I know it feels hopeless. I've even felt that way many times before and just...hated. Hated this whole thing and even having to be here on this forum. I wish all the time I didn't even know what emetophobia meant and just think people who feared this were silly. But. It is my life. It's OUR life and I've realized that it's going to be a roller coaster in everything we do. From relationships to excercise habits and phobias/manias everything. I think the most true thing I've ever heard is from the movie "Blow". He says "Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

There's nothing I can say to change how you feel, but just know that there are others here who have been through, are going through, and are going to go through what you're going through now. Always use this place to vent your frustration and stress. That's what we're here for even if you feel like you're being selfish.

[olschesky]

hope you're feeling a little better and found something to eat. chicken is sometimes pink even when it's cooked. i see it alot with wings. if the box said they were fully cooked i'm sure they are.......wings cook in a really short amount of time.....i worked as a waitress for 15 years and saw lots of "pink" sometimes even red looking chicken that was absolutely cooked.

food poisoning is really not all that common. try to remember how many times you, your family, friends, etc. go out to eat.......or eat things you think might be bad, and they haven't gotten sick from it.........
it's just one more way for emet to get into your life.

[leeannc28]

Been doing the same thing for the past couple months. Lost a lot of weight over the summer because of it. Today I made myself eat half a can of chicken soup I wanted, even though the anxiety poked its damn head it every second I chewed. Still waiting and hoping the food doesnt make me sick (it was chicken and rice soup, and it had a strange, faint sweet flavor in it Im not sure was a good or bad sign.)

Its weird but when I eat now I try to do it as mindlessly as possible. I give in to the habit of looking at dates and labels and checking for mold, because all in all I think those are smart habits to have anyway. I just dont let myself overdue it. And if I know the food smells and looks okay, and the date is okay then I'll eat it because I know the anxiety is bothering me not the food.

I feel what your going through though. I started pushing myself out of sheer frustration and anger. Today before I ate the soup I said "F*ck it I just wanna eat!"

Good luck to you. Im sure you'll get better too in time.

[JustLacey]

Maybe you should try to find a group of foods you feel comfatable eating. I got close to anorexia because of the eating part of emet.
I feel comfatable with bread, cooked meats, microwave meals, the sort of things I'm 100% sure on that they are cooked. And I always buy from the top supermarket chains, beacause if they would give anyone FP, they would be sued millions and loose buissness.
Think Positive.
Were all in this together,
Lacey