Stories of how we got Emetophobia

[arcky]

Hi there. I already posted this in the main discussion. I copied it into here. I have no idea what to say other than thank Heavens that I am not the only one who suffers from this awful phobia which afterall has a NAME. After reading so many stories and posts, I feel so not alone. I have to say that emetophobia has basically ruined my life. I am warning you, some of the things I am going to say may be graphic. I'll tell you about my awful experiences and how the phobia has affected me. Apparently the first time I had ever vomited was at age 5 aside from those times when I probably did as an infant. I clearly remember that night too. I was laying in bed, feeling just horrible and threw up all over my covers. I cried for my mother and as soon as she came into my room, she yelled at me to get off the bed. She had to replace the covers and clean everything up. Not at all supportive really because right after the mess was cleaned up, she ran out and ran back in with "the pan". She specifically pounded it into my head that if I needed to throw up again, to throw up in "the pan" which didn't end up happening anyway. Right after she dropped it off, she ran out of my room in a flash. But after that night, I always wanted "the pan" beside my bed because I was so afraid of that happening again. That had lasted for about a year. Then one time when I was 7 I was creating something with glue in my room. The glue had gotten onto my hands and I had to go wash them. The bathroom door always remained shut whether someone was using it or not but if it was used it was usually locked. The door wasn't locked that time. I went in there and saw something horrible. My mother was leaning over the toilet vomiting. I saw all of it and to this day can never get that awful image out of my head. Two weeks after that day, my half-brother was running up the stairs and he had thrown up on the top step. I was in my room at the time and I was so scared that I slammed my bedroom door with my ears covered. I was crying and couldn't stop. Then everytime I saw my mother or half-brother, the first thing I would ask was if they were going to throw up. They always got mad at me for asking that and my step-dad was the only one that kept reassuring me that no one was going to get sick. After time I saw he was right, I felt more comfortable being around them. The funny thing is, one time when I was 9, I threw up and was scared right before it had happened but was okay afterwards and became less phobic of it up until I had turned 16. I'll tell you what had happened when I was 16. On November 26th, 1989, the day after my 16th birthday in fact my mother and I went somewhere north of the city to go hiking. It was almost like an Indian-summer day, and it was on a Sunday. A perfect day to spend outdoors. Then around 5pm I started feeling *very* hungry and was ready to eat just about anything. My mom and I found a restaurant, still out in the sticks but it had a very unclean appearance. I didn't care, all I wanted to do was eat. I ordered a burger with french fries which I had basically wolfed down and had a chocolate eclair afterwards. About 40 minutes later, right before we had just gotten home, I started feeling like something was very wrong. I surprisingly wasnt all that nauseated but I felt like I was coming down with something strange. I became dizzy, lightheaded, had a horrible headache, was sweaty, became a little difficult to breathe, and my stomach did cramp but didn't feel like vomiting. However I completely freaked out and didn't know why I was feeling like this and it all came down on me fast. My mother was concerned what could have been wrong and phoned the hospital. She was on the phone with them for at least 5 minutes and my step-dad was with me trying to calm me down because I was really scared. I didn't think I was coming down with a virus, it didn't feel like that. Right after my mother had gotten off the phone with them, she said that they wanted me to be seen, then I was taken down. I was so scared and felt even worse that I was silent but the tears

[beknasty]

Whew! I just got through all of those stories. So I'll share mine
now...even if nobody reads it [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

I have many specific parts in common with others...as I'm sure we all
do. I can't tell you what sparked this irrational fear, but I know it's
scared the hell outta me since I was a little girl.
On my 5th or 6th birthday, my mom n I went to a flower shop to
pick up, well, some flowers. I saw this homeless guy on the sidewalk
(which was VERY RARE for where I lived) n I remember how much he
scared me. He stared at me with the most terrible look in his eyes so
I turned away n hid behind my mom. When I came out from behind
her to make sure he was gone, he was standing in front of our car
throwing up. My mom literally had to drag me out of the store
because I was already so terrified of this man. I felt like he was
throwing up intentionally to scare me (it didn't even cross my mind
that he was simply sick). I guess, ever since then, throwing up had
worried me.
When I was being the hugest brat ever n I just wouldn't listen, my
mom would say, "Oh, I don't feel good. I think I'm gunna throw up".
Yeah, that was kinda mean...but I sure as hell did what she was
asking me to do. At that point, my mom didn't know it was such a
serious thing to me...I didn't even know it was such a serious thing to
me. Like someone said before, every kid has a little fear of throwin
up.
Well, since then, I had been sick a few times, but there's no need to
go into detail about those times. I'll just stick to my dramatic times
that I can specifically remember emetophobic feelings...
One night when I was about 7 or 8, I decided to sleep in a tent at my
dad's house(really, I don't know why). Anyway, I remember waking
up because I felt funny n I swallowed really hard. I definitely
swallowed SOMETHING, but it didn't even cross my mind really
because I was still half-asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I
wasn't feeling well so I got out of the tent n went to lie down on the
couch. I fell asleep for a minute or two n realized I was gunna throw
up. I ran to the bathroom, blah blah blah. I was crying hysterically
because I was at my dad's house n I had NEVER been sick at my
dad's house before...I just wanted to be with my mom. But when I
called her, it turned out she was sick too so I couldn't stay with
her...I was stuck!
What's really odd, is that when I was younger, I must have always
been in somewhat of a trance when I awoke from my sleep. Not only
did I just swallow it that night in the tent, but about a year later, I
was staying at my stepmom's parents' house n I had gotten sick at
night. I specifically remember waking up, being MORE than calm,
walking over to my dad n poking him. When he woke up, I VERY
camly told him, "I'm going to throw up." I slowly n CALMLY (can you
understand how weird I think this is?) strolled over to the bathroom,
opened up the toilet, knelt down on my knees, n just threw up. Like
routine or something. It didn't even phase me! It wasn't until the next
morning that I realized what happened the night before n I was
TERRIFIED all day long. I remember noticing that you could see lines
in practically every material. It started making me really dizzy n it
scared me cuz I knew we had to drive home that day (5 hour drive).
I was fine though for the rest of the day.
In 5th grade, I was in math class n felt funny. So I put my head down
for a second to rest, next thing I knew, I was running outta the
classroom to the bathroom n everyone was so confused. I threw up
on the ground n it made me cry. I cried HYSTERICALLY until my mom
picked me up. I can no longer eat sourdough toast with jam on it

[adry]

hey guys.it's unbelievable that there are so many others like me out there....i feel thankful to john who had this great idea....i'm not sure this is going to be good for me though.because lately i started to feel like i was beginning to handle better this fear by thinking 'oh you're crazy, it's not that big of a deal....' and now,i hope i am not going back and get worse again....


oh well...i have to write my thoughts down,it may be a little hard but you all did it,and i felt so much in a little family cos of that...-sorry for the mistakes,i am in the us now but i'm an exchange student,i am learning english a bit at a time.....-


i'll try not to be too long--i remember having 'pretty good'relation with v wheni was in elementary and preschool(actually, i v.once in preschool, but i forgot,and my mom reminded me years later, and i likewoke up that memory and remembered there was this one kid who probably complained like "ewww" and made me feel bad)....but this other time in elementary i remember feeling real weak all day without a reason, and going home and feeling the same,until at once i knew i was going to vomit and ran to the bathroom,did it,and felt totally better, perfect, right after that,,,i think that's one of the best memories i have about v.because it was so fast i didnt even have the time to think about it,,,actually if i think of it now i ask myself if it really happened,coz it was so unbelievably fast and painless....


i had many other experiences,,,never anyone concerning bugs etc, and learning how often those happen here in the us is really freaking me out....i hope it won't happen to me.....i'd like to 'draw' a complete timeline w/all my emet-related episodes, maybe in order to see things more clear and get out of this so hated thing....and it feels so good to know that you all went through all this..


one of the oldest memories was the pre-school one and another one at home, where my mom i guess had to carry me from my room to the bathroom while i was,mmm....v. that is not the worst though, it fells worse to think what caused that:this onewoman who is a friend of ours brought me out to dinner and obliged me to eat a lot of pasta more than the one a 4 years old child should eat,,,,that still feels cruel


another important 'date' was when one day (8/9 yrs old probably) i got hurt and really scared by doing something from a boy, like riding with a kind of sleight on the ice on a slope....i was just disturbed right after doing that, but not bad. i went home and had an egg, but i think it stayed on my stomach, cos i continued to feel weird, and tremendously tired,,,so i went to bed and right after entering in my room i fainted on my floor and cut my chin. my parents brought me to the 'hospital' and i got my chin sewed together. but on the way there on the car i once felt like i needed air and my mom opened the car door cos she felt i was maybe going to v.i didn't though.


since that, i think,all the times i feel sick i pass out.it's like i hate that feeling so much i want to be somewhere else.and i faint. but i don't v.!


the feeling it's really bad though.and i would do a lot to get rid of this fear....the first time i fainted while watching outside a window(my father freaked out) and that time i did v. (right after,and felt better; but i guess that didn't change things)


[i]another time was at my aunt's house, i had a flu and probably some virus but had just got the medicine that made me feel like totally healthy, and so i ate. not long after i realized it was a huge mistake....fainted twice,

[felicia]

It's funny how reading so many horrible stories can make you feel so much better.


Maybe because just the thought of one person being like you is comforting but when you find this many you kinda feel normal...[img]smileys/smilies_13.gif[/img]


~~KINDA GRAPHIC


My first memory of being affraid of v**** was at age 6. My family and I were sitting in my grandmothers kitchen talking when one of my older cousins came running to the kitchen door to tell my grandmother something. Before I knew anything she had cupped her hand over her mouth and IT poured through her fingers. Everyone got up from the table and walked out. I remember sitting under the table rocking and crying. My mother came and tried to get me out of the kitchen. she ended up having to pick me up and I screamed and kicked as she carried me over the doorway I even remember wetting myself. (I remember leaping across the door for weeks after, not wanting my feet to touch the area where she had been sick...similar to Symphonicfaith and her desk in the wet spot).


As an adultI think that this particular incident triggered my phobia because it was the first time i had witnessed someone else v*. Now that i think about it, it's kinda like someone walking up behind you and hollering "BOO!" you don't know when it's going to happen or who's going to do it, it just does.


My next memory comes from a few years later. I have a cousin who would always come and visit. and whenever he would come to visit he would get sick. At one point i remember my grandmother telling me he was coming to visit and I ran and hid in the backyard crying and shaking until he had left.


By junior high I'd masked my fear pretty good, I trained myself not to burst into tears and go off screaming when people would be sick. Though i did develop a severe case of the shakes which would sometimes last for hours.


I can't watch movies that show people getiing sick. When i was a child unlike most mothers who cover their childs eyes when there is a sex scene, my mother would cover my eyes when someone threw up. I cover my ears and humm so not to hear anything either.


As inlots of the stories, I don't really have a problem with myself being sick. Or do I? The truth is I'm not sick very often. I do have very severe endometriosis and in the past 10 years the only time I have been sick is due to the pain that comes along with my mentrual cycle, and even so it's only been two times that I've actually allowed myself to throw up. I normally just lie down of the bathroom floor (because the cool tile feels good for some reason) until i fall asleep...when i wake up the naseau is gone...


Well I have plenty more to say but i'll leave it for next time...Thank you all for listening[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[hethmares]

I think my emet started when I was about 5/6 years old. Don't know what triggered it, Ijust know that I can remember that far back being afraid of it and I can remember every incident of vomiting(myself or others from that age to the present). Mostly I think it is linked to my family-majority of those in my family get motion sickness(not me thank god!) and my grandmother who I spent ALOT of time with as a child was notorious for gettting car sick often. She never vomited thank god, but she got to feeling so bad alot of times that we would oftenhave to pull over and let her walk around and get some air. I started to hate car rides or going anywhere with anyone because I was afraid they would get carsick.


Thefew incidents that affected me the most though as far as vomiting is concerned is when I was 8-12. When I was 8ish, my cousins and I were spending the night at my aunts house. My cousin who was like14 was in charge of watching out for her little brother who was 5. When we went to bed that night he said he had a tummy ache. My aunt gave him some 7 up and we all went to sleep. At about 2 am, I woke up to the sound of my little cousin vomiting in the bathroomand my 14 year old cousin in there with him talking him through it calmly. I panicked, covering my head with the blanket, covering my ears with my hands and rocking back and forth under the blanket. Eventually after he was done vomiting,my cousins retired to bed and went to sleep and I lay there the rest of the night wide awake with my stomache in knots, whimpering to myself. In the morning, my little cousin was famished and my aunt made us a big breakfast of eggs, bacon and waffles. He wanted seconds on eggs and I just stared at him in fear, I didn't think him stuffing himself was a good idea at all. After breakfast we all piled into the back seat ofmy auntsvw bug and headed to the park. Halfway there my little cousin started to feel sick again and without warning he threw up everywhere in the back seat. I remember being closest to the door, but the smell was horrific I mean eggs NASTY! We pulled over and my aunt cleaned up. I didn't want to get back in the car but knew I had to. Even though my aunt had cleaned the back seat that smell still lingered for a loooong time and I kept replaying the incident over and over in my head. My cousin was fine after that and didn't v anymore and we had a good time at the park.


The next incident involved me... I was 6ish I believe and my cousin was babysitting me (the same 14 year old cousin from above story) and I was hungry. She made me hot dogs. I ate two, but was still hungry. There wasn't much in the house to eat that she was allowed to make tamper with so she opened up acan of fruit cocktail. I ate a big bowl of it. About 30 mins after eating, I felt really nauseous. I panicked I didn't know what to do because I hadn't vomited before. I knew I was supposed to go to the bathroom, that's all I knew...I made it to the bathroom but ended up throwing up in the sink. I began crying uncontrollably. I hated it, it scared the hell out of me. Luckily my mom showed up in the middle of it and came to my rescue.


The next incident was at my aunts. I was9 I think.It was x-mas time and she made a batch of sugar cookies, my favorite. I ate a couple after dinner and my cousin and I played. I ate a couple more(they were small). About an hour later, I started to feel funny. I drank a glass of water thinking I was thirsty maybe???? I still didn't understand nausea all that well(since I hadn't thrown upbut 1x before this incident)I was hoping to drink it away. I had two more glasses of water. The water didn't help and after an hour of going to bed, I woke up at 1am puking my guts out. I didn't eat sugar cookies for years after that.


The next incident was when I was 11, my mom and I went to Denny's and later that evening she began vomiting violently. After not being able to keep her food or fluids down all nightshe made a ca

[ontariogirl]

The phobia began when I was 9 turning 10. I don’t know why or even how it began. I remember being in grade 4 I think and a classmate threw up all over his desk you knew what he had for breakfast. But I don’t think it was the trigger, because I didn’t run out of the class, but that is in my memory to this day. When my mother took me to doctors after doctors they would say it is her hormones, they are changing. Feeling sick, being around anyone who is sick freaked me out. Then it ruled me all the time. I don’t know why but I had to run, I would leave the house at night and hide in the back yard, I think because if I was going to be sick I didn’t want anyone to be near me at all! When I hid in the back yard and my parents were frantically trying to find me they phoned the police. This happened many times and it was the same cop, who to this day is still a cop, we are friends and his son went to school with mine. I would do anything to help with the anxiety and being that young I would do foolish things now that I look back at it, biting my nails till they bled, biting on pens with ink on my hands, always having regular Halls candies to chomp on, cutting my own hair, just nutty things. My sister was born when I was 13, it was great having a baby sister until she got the flu! Then my thinking was great if there is a flu she will catch it and bang everyone else will get it. I remember my father coming home from work he had to pull over several times to throw up he caught the flu from my sister, he went into the bathroom puked again and looked at me and said,” see I am still alive” he went upstairs to bed. That hurt me, once in awhile little shots at me. Sometimes I wish I knew why this started but I don’t know. I didn’t sleep at night, to me the nights dragged on and on at times they still do. Going to my aunt and uncle place for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner and if someone is throwing up I leave, doesn’t matter if we are in the middle of eating or not I am gone in a flash. I dread holiday’s, to me all of them are in the “flu” season, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.
Can anyone tell me if they dread holidays because of the flu season? Or is it just me?

Rhonda

[hethmares]

I HATE the holidays too Rhonda...Too much food and SOMEONE always stuffs themselves until they vomit, it is sooo gross. Holidays are an excuse for gluttony it's sickening...

[bethany]

How similiar we all are never ceases to amaze me as i navigate thru this sight


as a little girl, my mom would get angry with me because i was constantly complaining of tummy aches and that i didn't want to go to school. I wish she would've been more understanding I think it made it worse that she wasn't empathetic at all. My dad, however, suffers from anxiety and panic attacks so he understands me a lot better.

I just always remember feelings soooo alone and weird. I've thought many times how is life worth living with this stupid of a fear. Such an intense, debilitating fear. I mean..just because i'm phobic..i swear ppl are always sick around me.

In high school if the flu was going around I would stay home. I'm a sophomore in collge and I live in a sorority house. I am so scared of everyone finding out i'm crazy when someone in my living area gets sick. they will think i'm nuts b/c i will be disinfecting everything.

last year i asked a fellow classmate to borrow her notes. she handed them to me and i was holding them and then she just started talking about how she was throwing up all nite. I instantly thought I was screwed and felt pure doom and despair because i had already taken the notebook out of her hand, so i was bound to have her germs. back at my dorm, i handled her notes with plastic gloves over my hands, locked in my room so no one would see that i wouldn't touch her notes [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


*knock on wood*..i never got it yet

it's been a lot of years and still in this position

[charzysbebe]

My turn I guess. It is really cool that we can all share our stories. As for me, I remember being an emet since atleast age 4-5. I was in preschool, and I remember vomiting all over the floor in front of everybody after we all had our afternoon cookies and juice. My mom came to get me after that, so I could go home and change my clothes, and then go back to preschool. Well, when I got home, I vomited all over the livingroom floor, so...my mom decided to stay home with me after that. Ever since then, I dunno why, but not long after that, I was eating an icecream sandwich, and I asked my mom "will this make me have diarrhea"? (which to me,would meanI was sick) She said no. But becausethe icecream sandwichwas brown in color, I guess that is what did it. Crazy huh?


My mom was very over protective about germy things. I found an unchewed/unwrappedpiece of gum in the back yard (at the same age) and it was covered with ants, and I just brushed them off, and ate it. My mom said "you may get sick now from eating that". That freaked me out. I was waiting to get sick, but never did. She would also say "don't share drinks with your freinds", "Don't share your lip gloss"...etc..."It will make you SICK!!


There is one incident where my mom got food poisoning, and I was about 8 years old, and she acted like she was gonna die!! All I heard was her vomiting in the toilet and crying and groaning. I was panicking after that. Not long after that incident, I would wake up about once a month, and panic that I was going to be sick, so I would think myself into nausea, and then vomit in the toilet, tell my mom, and that would be it. I would also have to sleep with my light on because the Sesame Street characters on my sheets looked like puddles of vomit in my bed when it was dark. It never failed that I would wake up and think that cookie monster was a vomit puddle! That happened quite a bit. That is also in the same year, that when I would have bad anxiety, I would think I was nauseated, and I would tell my mom I was sick, and scared. She would ask what was wrong, and I didn't quite know how to explain it. She then took me to the ER, and the doc told her it was my thoughts and anxiety that brought me there. He told me to go home and think of rainbows and lollipops.


One of the worse incidences I experienced, was when I was a few years older, and I was in bed asleep, and I heard my brother throw up in his bed. (he was 2 years older than me. I say was because he drowned last summer...a whole different topic) After I heard him, I instantly went in to a HUGE panic attack, and felt sick instantly....so then I went to throw up.


I never really worried about vomit during those ages unless I was faced with them. That all changed for some reason after I had my first child in 1992. I remember spending a night out with my friend, and when I came home, I smelled vomit (ex brother in law), and saw a big wet spot (that had been cleaned up) that looked like it was vomit at one point. I turned toward my friend and said, "No way, I am outta here! I am not gonna catch what he has!!" So I stayed the night with my her. Then magically, I started getting worried about catching the bug from others. I wouldn't use pay phones, unless I cleaned them first, I wouldn't touch anything in public, and I would hardly go out. Within months of that last incident, me and that same friend went to get some taco bell late at night. I was starving. On the way home with the food, I saw some man vomiting out his car window...EEEEK!! I instantly told my friend she could have my food, and I was no longer hungry. It ruined my whole night.


I got really agorophobic when I was pregnant with my 2nd child in 1994. I would never leave except to go to my doc appointments. I would worry all night, and panic

[hues]

Hey everyone!! It's really interesting reading all these stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone! I hope everyone is doing well.


Well I'm not exactly sure when this feeling of anxiety of vo*** started. I'm pretty sure it started when I was around 6yrs. I remember always having nightmares as a child due to the horror of my father being a terrible abusive alcoholic. I remember many times waking up in the middle of the night feeling I was still in my nightmare even though I was up walking around in the darkI then would go into a panic and feel sick to my stomach. I would immediately run to my parent’s room to get comfort from my mother and get sick, and my dad would scream at me while my mom would hug me. I did that numerous times--they must have loved me for that!! After these experiences I never wanted to fall asleep most of all because I was scared of having a nightmare, then one day the nightmares went away, and all seemed well. Then our family went on a camping trip and my sister got sick in our camper and I had no escape, ughh I was dying to get out I had to hear and see the whole incident.I've seen kids get sick in the classroom, on the bus, and was pretty disgusted, but even though Ican't sayI would think about it anymore after the fact, I would still get on the bus go to the classroom etc.


Throughout my young adult life I was lucky I can't say it disturbed me to the point of not interacting socially. I just knew I didn’t like it and that I would do anything to avoid it myself. THEN as I became an adult I got H Pylori, which basically is an ulcer. I used to eat out all the time and one nightI immediately felt very sick after a meal I almost did the unspeakable!! I couldn't eat anything for two days after that everything made me feel sick to my stomach I then went to my doctor and he diagnosed me with H Pylori, which you cannot cure, and you get it from either bad food and/or too much coffee on an empty stomach. The symptoms are feeling sick to your stomach after you eat, it could happen immediately or an hour later, you just feel like vo***. That's when I started to think about it all the time, there would be times I knew it was just my nerves making me feel ill not my stomach at all.Therewere timesI didn't feel comfortable going out to eat because if I felt sick I wanted to leave, and being in a busy place feeling ill makes me go into a bit of panic mode. I also sort of get freaked out if people handle my food without gloves or if my meal may not be fully cooked to my obsessive standards because I can’t stand the thought of having food poison. After dealing with this for over two years now I started taking natural herbs that have made my stomach feel normal after I eat, happy to say it's not half as bad as it used to be.


Recently the phobia came back to haunt me--I came home from school and my sister who is living with me was moaning and when I walked into her room she ran past me to the restroom with the door open and started vo** like crazy!! I couldn't even move I was in total shock and I called 911 and didn't know what to do, I basically lost itand started shaking. Imanaged to takeher to the hospital and I called my mom and was freaking out. I couldn't eat for three or four days then I went home and sprayed everything down with Lysol--obsessively. Every time I would touch something that I thought had germs I would spray and wash my hands alot of times. It was crazy! I just couldn't bare going thro

[sar_bear]

reading everyones stories made me think alot about my own....



just like most of you, i cant pin point the exact moment i developed
this fear. from what i can remember ive always been preoccupied with
the thought of being sick, my very first memory was from when i was
about 3 or 4 ivolving soup. i had explained to my mom that i could only
eat soup out of a cup...if i ate it out of a bowl i would throw it up.
i cried when she gave it to me in a bowl, but i ate it anyway. later
that night i was sick.



ive always had strange little superstitions like that, even since i was
younger. for instance, i remember i had a stuffed reindeer that i
rarely slept with at night, but whenever i did i would be sick at
night...so i was always afraid to sleep with it. there was another
stuffed animal i had, a koala, that i had given to a friend when she
was sick to make her feel better. i never played with that animal again
cuz i was afraid it would make me sick.



i remember going out to eat when i was younger and always being afraid
that the restaraunt people would put osmething in my food to make me
sick. i think maybe that was just me being overexposed to too much tv
when i was younger....



a young child shouldnt be worrying about things like food posioning or
being sick because it is a part of growing up, so why was i so
preoccupied with it? i haven't been sick since i was 8 (knock on
wood) and i was so relieved when i found out there was a name for my
strange fear and other people that understood where i was coming from.



sorry to ramble.......



</span>

[hannahspanner]

For me I bacame afraid of sick when i was about 6 or 7 at Christmas time. It was weird because I don't remember this happening to me, all i remember is feeling dizzy and shakey and asking for my mum! However, it turned out that the 3 boys i was sat with at the dinner table threw up all over me and my food and their food too. It must have been so awful that I have blocked it out of my mind. So since then i have been terrified of sick. When i was 14 or so i lost weight with it becuase of the irational fear that i had of eating coloured food, or drinking out of a certain colour cup, or eating out. I just stopped eating for 6 weeks without really realising it. I was scared to travel and i thought that the feeling of hunger in my tummy was a sick feeling. So since then i have had to learn different ways of living life as normally as possible without fussing. I still cant cope with the thought of being sick (as i havent been for 16 years now) but i have leart to stop being afraid of certain things because its not the colour of your food thats gonna make u ill! My husband thinks that I am silly and doesnt fully understand what i have been through or what i go through each day, but I am coping. I wish that someone could wave a wand though and it would all go away.

[juliet]

I've been severely emetophobic since this traumatic "little" incident in the third grade. My class was paying its weekly visit to the school library, and the first thing I noticed as I walked into the roomwas a powerful andunfamiliar smell. I had no idea what it was until I sat down at a table and heard the other class's triumphant announcement that "Andi threw up."


My classmates thought it was gross and took turns sniffing the air and making fun of each other's reactions to the stink. But I completely froze up, suddenly feelinglike I'd just enteredthe room where a violent death had taken place. It was such a hateful, creepy, wicked smell, and I desperately needed to get away from it. Practically in tears, Ipleaded my teacher to let me get out ofthat library, but she wouldn't let me. I was trapped in there for at least half an hour with that smell. The olfactory sense is powerfully connected to our emotions.


It was all I could think about for some time, and itwasn't untilone nightfew weeks later that Iopened up to my twin sister, who had done it herself a little over a year ago. I asked her what it felt like. She said, "it hurts."


From that night, forat leasttwo years to follow,I would spiral into a severe panic attack every time I felt any strange sensations in my stomach or throat or had simply been thinking about the subject too much.


I've developed a level of control over my anxiety since then, but it most certainly hasn't gone away. I still squeeze the pressure point in my wrist as sort of an obsessive compulsion. I still wash my hands like a fanatic whenever there's a stomachflu going around. I still have to wait a week or so before I can go into a room where someone has done it. Thank God I still haven't done it myself since I was three years old, and, God willing, I hope things will always stay that way. I still get the occasional panic attack, and Istill can't be alone while I'm having one.

[carmagnet]

This is my first time of I'm sure many times to come to this site. I am sooo excited to see I'm not the only one. Unlike alot of these stories I can pinpoint the exact time my "problem" started. I'll get to that in a second, I want to give you a bit of history first. I am 25 years old, and have two great kids. One of which is 7 years old and doesn's seem to know where he's suppose to be sick. The other is 3 and I have a hard enough time getting her to Poop in the potty let alone be sick. So I need to rid my self of this plague BAD. We all had a stomache bug a few weeks ago and my son the seven year old was being sick all over the living room. I don't know if it was cause I was sick too or what but I wanted to send both of my kids to live with their dads because I couldn't handle them being sick. I could handle cleaning it up. BUT I can not handle seeing it, hearing it, smelling it, or knowing it's a possibility in the future.When I would go to school first thing I would do is look around the room to see if anybody even looked like they might not feel good. Then I would stare at them the whole time so I could run if anything was gonna happen. When I would tell people about my fear most would look at me like I was some kind of freak or something but a few others would automatically fake like they were going to be sick. I really makes me feel like some kind of wuss or something. I tell myself that it's natural and people just do it, that I need to just get over it. and I'm pretty much fine with only a few thoughts a day about someone possibly being sick. Until some one does get sick. then I'm hiding in my room all night and avoiding all contact with the persons that are sick. I dont think my phobia is as severe as some of the other people on here but it is interfering with my daily life and I would love to have it gone. I dont like thinking that I want to "Get rid" of my children every time they are sick. I sleep on the couch if my Fiance even says he's got a tummy ache. Anyways back to the reason, when I was a kid, my parents would take me and my older brother camping, he is 2 years older than me, every time we would go camping he would get sick from too many sweets or something and he had to sleep next to the wall of our trailer so I was next to the edge. We were probably 6 and 8 this one time in particular he woke up sick and was leaning over me doing it on the flood and I freaked and scrambled out from under him and jumped out of the bed and was frantically looking for my parents in their bed and they were no where to be seen!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?! I was screaming and ran out of the trailer and down the path and found my parents coming back to the trailer from the bathrooms. I sometimes feel like if I can Meditate back to that point and put my parents there somehow I could fix it. For now I get scared when someone is sick and I get VERY ANGRY when some one does it cause they had too much to drink. I don't like parties. I love my fiance with everything in me and he is also a part of a heavy metal band so Im sure you can see where my conflicting interest is. I have been to see rehearsal's where they are drinking. Some people more heavy than others and it's been okay so far. I just know that the first time someone is sick there I will never go back again. I just want to get to the point where I just think "ew" and go on with my life. It stays with me for weeks if I see someone get sick. I close my eyes and it's there. I'm just glad I'm not alone on my road to recovery. Thank you guys so much





Mindy

[flyaway]

Hi Everyone,



I'm 29 and I've been afraid of other people v-ing since the 4th grade.
I don't know where the fear came from because I remember my family
members v-ing when I was small and it didn't bother me at all. I had my
first panic attack when a friend was spending the night and she v-ed in
our hallway. I remember being scared, feeling hot, my heart racing and
I had to run out of the room and hold my ears/close my eyes. Then she
had to sleep in my room with me and I was a wreck worrying that she
would get sick again.



From then on it was a constant worry for me at school. Kids were always
getting sick in class and the teachers were not very understanding of
my fear and would not let me leave the room. I avoided the kids who
tended to get sick a lot. I began to think of certain people as the
"types" who would get sick even if they just looked a certain way. I
constantly had to ask my friends if they were feeling OK if I thought
they looked sick. I'm sure I drove them crazy.



I had stomach aches all the time and I never would have thought about
mentioning that here if so many other people had not said the same
thing. I had a stomach ache every night. My parents had no idea what
was wrong with me. I did not v-- very much though. When I did it was
torture. I had special breathing that I would do to hold it back. I
would rather stay up all night doing my special breathing and
swallowing rather than throw up once. I worried more about others
getting sick rather than myself.



Even though all of this was fairly traumatic for me, I was able to live
a normal life. I struggled with fear and anxiety but it was not bad
enough to keep me from doing things. I would go out of my way to ride
in cars with people I felt safe with instead of motion-sick prone
people. I never get drunk for fear of throwing up. After being at too
many parties in high school where people got sick I started avoiding
drunk people as much as possible. I have gotten really upset at my
friends for drinking too much because of my fear.



I also had a terrible fear of our house being broken into or
burglarized. I still feel like there is always someone out there at
night waiting to break in for some reason or another. I hate these
stupid fears. I have other anxieties that I thought i had under control
until I got married. I got married two years ago and all these fears
started spinning out of control and so I've sought help.



I discovered EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NAET (Nambudripad's
Allergy Elimination Therapy) and I am making a lot of progress. If you
are interested in these Meridian based therapies I highly recommend
both of these along with EMDR, TFT and the like. I have tried these
techniques on my own at home and found that I also needed a
practitioner to help me. People with anxiety and fear have deep issues
that are interconnected. You have to get to the root of the problem in
order to use these therapies effectively and a practitioner can help
you do that. But they work!



I have successfully eliminated one of my anxieties and am confident I
will get rid of the rest of them. I have not tried it for my phobia yet
because it is not my worst problem. I will definitely post here when I
have success.



Good luck to you all. Thanks for sharing your stories. I can't believe I went 29 years and never knew there was a name for this!



This is my EFT practitioner and his site is full of information:



http://www.psychotherapy-center.com



other links:



http://naet.com/

http://emofree.com/

[floofy]

Wow. People have some really intense stories here. So, I guess I'll share anything I can remember of myself.


As far back as Elementary school (right now I'm 15, in 10th grade), I was always afraid of vomit. I remember it getting really intense in 1st grade, however. In that school, it seemed that every day, some kid got sick. Being exposed to it that much, I think I would have gotten used to it, but it's just gotten worse. I literally had to be dragged into the school by the principal. I also refused to go, because I, myself, always felt sick. After being to many doctors, mental and medical, it still hasn't made much of a difference. I've been on "happy pills" and all other sorts of medicines, which only made me even more depressed and sadistic. It's actually getting worse these days. I've been taken out of public school because of this phobia and now get homeschooled, I rarely leave the house, I don't eat as much as I use to, considering each time I eat, I start to feel even more sick. The doctors say I may have some sort of stomach ulcer, and it's possible I'll develop stomach cancer by age 20 (and I thought feeling sick everyday to this degree was bad), and I can't eat any foods or drink any drinks that I used to enjoy, I've lost most of mylocal friends,and to top it off, I've now got insomnia. Argh, pitiful.

[hmw2000]

Reading all of these stories again makes me realize that I am not alone. I have been dealing with EMET for the past 10 years or so, but it got really terrible about two years ago. Someone at work had a stomach virus and kept making trips to the restroom. It made me so nervous that I could hardly drive myself home that day. For the next 4 months, I could not bring myself to eat. I lost 100 pounds and eventually ended up in the hospital for several weeks on a feeding tube. I am better now in the aspect that I can eat sometimes, but there is so much anxiety and fear of food and what it might do to me that i am unable to bring myself to eat somedays. I was a sick baby, and spent most of my first three years of my life v**ing. When I was around four years old, the doctor finally figured out that I was lactose intolerant, and thatthe formula and food that i was being fed was making me sick. I don't really remember too many instances from when I was that young, but they are evidently somewhere deep inside of my conscience, and Ican't shake the memories. It has been over 10 years since I actuallyv**ed. I am afraid to do it, and I am afraid to be around anyone who might be. Iam tired of being afraid and dealing with the anxiety every single day of my life. I have too much life left to live, and I don't want to be soooooo afraid and worried all of the time. I am seeing a therapist, but I am not sure that it is working. I think that I need more help than that!! Thanks for reading my story. I tried not to go into too much detail because it is such a long one!!!

[moonshadow]

Hi, this is my first post. Having lurked for two or three weeks I find this board so friendly and supportive I decided it's time to come out of the woodwork.


Having read your experiences I realise how lucky I am... so many of you have been through far, far worse things than me, both in terms of experiences and your degree of anxiety. In comparison, my emet is occaisionally severe, mostly moderate. It only ruins bits of my life, not the whole of it! I am a 40-something English person (female) and I can pinpoint the onset of phobia to an occasion when I was seven... woke up feeling severely nauseous, upset and panicky. I went into my parents' room to tell em I felt sick, hoping they'd make it better - next thing I was v*ing all over the floor. My mother (understandably) was annoyed I gone into their roon instead of the bathroom but I was just so scared and thought if I told them, it would stop. That's whenI realised that they COULDN'T make it better and that was a really frightening realisation.


That was my most recent (proper) v* - 40 years ago! That's the moment I blame for my emet - but perhaps it had started before this, or why would I have been so panicky on this occasion? I just felt SO ill. It was vile. That's it!


Other things from my childhood contributed - my mum sufferedbad migraines almost monthly andI would often wake to hear her v*g, which always caused me severe anxiety and misery until she recovered. My dad, on the other hand, suffered a social phobia which he'd never talk about or explain. He couldn't socialise or eat out. If he was forced to, or if we were going on a long trip, he would be violently sick beforehand. I grew up associating v* with anxiety, misery and terror. But the main trigger was that one occasion, just those few minutes of feeling so awful...


I have a lot more to say but i will save it for later posts. I HATE this phobia. I understand the body needs to get rid of poisons but why, WHY does it have to be so awful???!!! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] I'm so glad to find this friendly board. An I'm glad to find so many paople from UK. The first time I went on an emet board a couple of years ago I started shaking and crying! On this board I'm fine so I must have made some progress!


Looking forward to knowing you all better. You seem such nice, great people!

[jesscat]

To begin with, for YEARS I have tried psychologically analyzing myself, but I just end up feeling like I am only playing a guessing game. I have tried learning what I could about emetophobia, and what I got from that was my idea of how it all began. To make a LOOOONG story short, I am 19 years old right now, and I have suffered since I nearly choked to death when I was 4 years old.


It was Easter, an dmy entire family was out to dinner, I was running around with a HUGE candy in my mouth, and alll of a sudden I came to a dead stop and stared blankly at my family. I was weezing and panting, my mom rushed over and started the hymlick (spelling?!). At the same time I remember myself trying to swallow the mass down. My mother and a waitress were now in control of me, because I suffocated for a breif moment, lips turned purple, and I guess my eyes rolled back into my head. The next thing i remember, was the candy come roaring up my throat....and alond came you know what!


A few years later at another family gathering, my little cousin was chewing on b-day candles...I was staring likea hawk! She started coughing and I FLIPPED out, went completely crazy and caused a scene! I was luckily out of there before the V* came.


Its pretty apparent to me that this is why I have evolved into an emetophobe, and this is all part of my terror:


I have read many stories of other emets. and I find that we are all related in our actions against our phobia. I like most others have a completely ridiculous anxiety disorder. My hands, ever since I was real young have NO cuticles, ripped to shreads! Not to mention they have never had nice texture, they are so dry and cracked from washing them every time I come into contact with ANYthing for fear I may catch an illness. I not only fear myself v*ing, but I am terrified of others as well. ICAN go to parties and other public areas, mainly because I can sense when someone is going to be sick before they even know! So im outta there in a jiffy. I can't travel, I am absoultely horrified at the thought of anyone ever seeing me get sick. I broke my pelvis once, and said i'd rather do that again than ever V* again! Common colds and any other illnesses do not phase me, I have NO others fears, and i very tough and outgoing, its just this one problem that can bring me to my knees. And because this problem has escalated in the past 3 years, I have become depressed. Feeling like there is no hope, feeling sorry for myself when I look back on each day and realizing at LEAST 35% of it was spent on thinking and worrying about v* in some way. I dont even know the difference in really being sick, or thinking I am. My heart flutters several times a day due to mass amounts of stress. I have aquired many other disorders such as anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, OCD, and I am a terrible hypochondriac and germ freak! Some days its worse than other days. On those real bad days, its usually the last thing I think about when I finally can fall asleep, and EVERY SINGLE DAY its the first thing I think about because I always jump out of bed and make sure I feel good.


I sometimes wonder if I am becoming obsessed. When I am not feeling well (or at least think that) I go to the bathroom and literally make sure my stool is solid. Somewhere along the way I have picked up this concept that with stomach bugs or other stomach illness, you most usually have diahrea. Dont ask!!!


Its not easy where I live (central NY) illnesses are very common at this time of year (January) ...we'll just say im in HELL![img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]And, I have never met anyone else around here with this problem. My mother in no help, she is an R.N and deals with this stuff everyday and dont think nothing of it. I can't talk about it to most anyone fine, I just get blank stares a lot, and most people laugh. It is just so g

[baseballplaya12]

This is going to be alot shorter than all of your posts because im really not positive how i got it.....I think it has something to do with growing up i rarely every got a stomach virus...if i did i only v'd once and then i was done...I think i am very lucky i got good geans from my parents my dad hasn't vd in probably 20 years and he isn't emet...and i only remmeber my mom v'ing once...i think thats another reason i was never around it and never had to deal with it so its kind of like fear of the unknown...

[s0ccer_princess]

Wow, it's amazing to meet people just like me, I mean recently mine has become worse, I have to take a hairband on my wrist every night just in case im sick in the night, I never eat food which looks odd/uncooked, I always take a glass of water to bed, stay away from other people who are ill and never share drinks with people. If someone drinks from my drink, I throw the rest away or say "have it". They think i'm being kind! lol [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


I don't know how/why it started. It sure is comforting to know I'm not alone though. My father mistook it for an eating disorder when on holiday I felt so sick I felt like eating nothing for the whole suration of the holiday.


I agree with a lot of you saying friends say that they don't like being sick and you feel like they don't understand. Because sure, no-one likes being sick but the difference is some people are mortally petrified of it.


Unfortunately I feel sick a lot, and each time I do I don't like the idea of sleeping as I am always sick at night if at all. I often like to read until my eyes feel so heavy I have no choice.


At the moment I have a really bad stomach ache and nausea but i've been feeling like this for a few eeeks now. IT often happens when I'm on holiday or especially when I come back. I just got back from France, and one night there was terrible, it felt completely like the flu and I just wanted to go home. The next day i was ok, but still feeling a b it sick and had an awful stomach ache. I keep getting it since then.


That's another reason my my father thinks i've got an eating disorder, becuase my nausea comes and stays for weeks, sometimes months. So there are often long periods when at dinner (it's always worse then) I don't feel like eating anything becuase i feel so sick and don't ant to trigger me being sick. He thinks I'm just using it as an excuse to not eat. So in the end I lie to my parents, pretending I'm fine and struggling through meal times eating as much as possible through my nauseous state.


Has anyone else had their Emetophobia misdiagnosed (well, inofficially, I mean by a friend/relative not a doctor necessarily) or is it just me?

[glass_kiss]

Hello My name is Lisa I am 19 years old as of March 7th. Ever since grade 3 I have been terrified of throwing up or watching other people throw up. Makes me wanna throw up. When my stomach is upset I think O god I'm gonna be stomach sick so I don't eat. I could not eat for days until my stomach eased. Sometimes I'll be leing in bed and think I get this hot feeling b4 you usually throw up and think omg here it comes but it never does. I hate living in this fear. And I want to stop depending on gravel.


It would be nice to know what could help me...and its kinda embarassing cause my friends all tell me theres nothing to being sick. But I'm scared I wont be able to breath or stop. I had one night where i threw up at least 11 times and thought i wouldnt stop.


Anyways whatever help u guys could give me would be nice.

[shiva]

I recently chose to write about this topic for a psychology paper on conditioning, but my paper was much more cut and dry than my story here. I wanted to add all the little extras in my paper, but it didn't fit into the assignment well, so I thought I would get the whole story out after I read some other posts and realized how many commonalities we all have.


Of course as a child I was always afraid of being sick. I remember each and every time as it is a movie that I can play over and over in my head of either myself or anyone around me being sick. The first that I remember was when I was 5 and staying over at my mom's friends house. I was sick in my sleep in her bed and didn't even realize it, but everyone else seemed to panic. They made me sleep with a bucket beside my bed even though I felt fine and I remember that really bothered me. I recall myself or family members being sick after that and it really left me unsettled whenever it happened. I hated when kids were sick at school, I couldn't wait to get home and away from it, but I still didn't really have a clue that this was just the beginning of the hell that we all endure now.


I probably could have gotten through life being one of those people who are just uncomfortable about sickness and that stuff if the next thing wouldn't have happened. When I was 10, my parents divorced and I had to stay with my dad and sibblings. Being a mama's girl, this really bothered me a lot. I missed my mom, my brother was mean as hell, my sister ignored me, and my dad yelled too much. I had to do the dishes and make the meals. I hated it and didn't understand why I couldn't just be with my mom. (actually, i still don't get that one)My dad started to get sick every morning from his sinus drainage. The thing is, my dad doesn't do anything quietly or politely, so it was loud and obnoxious and disgusting. This sound would wake me up out of a dead sleep at 5 am. If I didn't get woke up by the sound of him being sick, it was him yelling at me that his work pants weren't all the way dry. It was total hell.


I started then getting daily tummy aches. I stopped eating. They had tons of tests ran on me to see what was wrong and didn't find anything physical. It was suggested that I go talk toa therapist, but my parents didn't like what I had to say, so they stopped letting me go.


When I was 14, I started living on crackers and ginger ale and that was about it. I would stay at friends houses any time that I could get away with it. Eventually, I went to live with my x husbands family when he joined the army. I was 16 then and moving there made a huge difference. I started eating a little more and wasn't as anxious as I was when I lived at home.


I got married when I was 17 and went off to live the military wife lifestyle. It's not a suprise that I got pregnant soon after and of course this made me freak. Of course I would tell myself that I couldn't be pregnant, what about morning sickness? Or, I couldn't have a baby, kids get sick. Well, guess what? I got through the queaziness and had that baby and things were going great! I loved being a mommy immediately, it was like what I was put on earth to do. Then my daughter got sick when she was about 2. OMG this sucked, BAD! Luckily, we were visiting my in laws when this happened, to my mil was there to take care of her. This is when I got really bad. I stopped leaving the house. I didn't talk to anyone. It was bad. Finally, I realized that I was being a pretty s***ty mom and slowly worked to change things from there. It has been 6 years since that first time my daughter vomited and I am doing much better. My new fiance, however wants kids. OH GEEZ.... I am very nervous about this. Mine is just old enough now to know to get to the

[trishbme]

wow.. this is an amazing site.. ur stories are inspiration and comfort..

and if anyone reads mine... God bless you...hahaha

my mother and father divorced..ok she ran out on him with a guy at work
and moved to S.C. i live in PA.. shortly after my father was
diagnosed with a kidney desiese...which in turn caused him to V* every
single morning.. and at 9yrs old..i just sat in my room put my
headphones on and t urned the music up as loud as i could get it... my
father..my hero..died when i turned 19.. in a terrible car
accident..blunt force trauma to the chest... but this emet is still
with me.. can't watch new movies unless they're previewed..if i do go
to a movie i'm usually clutched to my best buds arm w/ my hand on my
ears if someone even LOOKS like they're gonna be sick asking (is it
over yet?) haha .miss out on holidays b/c the nephews are sick..
disinfecting EVERYTHING hahaha.. hating ''flu season'' ... isn't
it weird how we tend to remember EVERY TIME we've been sick to a
detail... our memories haunt us.. but at least we know we're not
alone...

[dranzersflame]

I was eight years old and had a high fever. I ate a bowl of cereal and
two hours later, I vomited. I was...horrified. I haven't vomited since.




Ever since then, I have followed daily rituals, created lists and lists
of "safe" foods, denied myself of tons of experiences because of it,
and...too much to name.



It runs and ruins my life. I...hate it. So much.



And only this past year have I addressed my problem and now I'm thinking about ways to treat this phobia.

[dr_emetophobe]

Hi!


I'm new here... I'm 28 and I'm a physician in Ontario, Canada. It's so interesting reading about how people's early childhood experiences set the stage for a lifelong phobia.


I too became emetophobic very young. I have 2 early traumatic memories of being trapped in small spaces with someone who was v*ing. The first was me in the bathtub, and my mother came in and pulled the shower curtain closed and v*ed in the toilet. The second was me in the car with my little sister, who had become car sick, and my dad pulled into a convenience store to get some ginger ale. I was in the front seat and my little sister was in the back. She must have v*d all over herself, because when my dad got back to the car I remember him opening the door and saying "oh, stephanie....!!!" I don't remember looking at her but I figure I must have felt very scared about what was happening and blocked out the sight and smell.


I wonder why some of us have been forever traumatized by these early events, while others aren't? I'm not specializing in psychiatry, but this really, really interests me!


Any thoughts?

[steph77]

i'm not a physician and have never been to college (mainly because of the emet) but i have thoughts on why we have been traumatized when others are not. i sort of feel like we have a pre-disposition to being overly sensitive, or OCD, or SOME kind of a mental quirk, not mental illness, per say, but something.


i don't remember not being emetophobic. i didn't know the word for it until i was 21, though. i asked my mom what could have caused it and she said i did have a scary episode in infancy that could have stuck with me. we had just moved into our new house. i was about 1 year old and was crawling. i must have found a carpet staple on the ground and put it in my mouth. my mom found me choking on it and, being a trained LPN, knew what to do and was calm at first. She pulled the staple out and, of course, i gagged, but did not vomit.the staple did scratch my throat and i bled. although she handled that part well, she claims that after the incident, when she laid me down, she went into another room to panic. i may have heard her and knew that what just happened was scary for both of us, and i should be afraid. maybe....i don't remember any of it. either way, before i found out the name as a bonafide phobia, ny mom had a difficult time of being supportive of me. to the point of calling me crazy and punishing me for always washing my hands. the phobia came and went in severity, but has always been there.


3 years ago is when it got the worst. i was terrified to eat and got down to 82 pounds at one point. then i found a supportive man who suffers himself from disabling anxiety and other mental illnesses and he was on lexapro. i asked my doc and he prescribed it to me. 2 years later i am 115 pounds and even thinking of going to college. it's still very hard, but at this moment, it no longer consumes me. i hope this moment lasts.


thanks for being here. thanks for the site. thanks for being you.

[dr_emetophobe]

I agree with you, Steph77. I think some of us are predisposed to anxiety and are more susceptible to developing phobias. I know I have personally struggled with anxiety issues since childhood. This phobia is only one part of my anxiety disorder. I actually saw a psychiatrist once, before med school - not for my phobia per se, but because I finally had had enough of being anxious and worrying all the time. I too have had times when I lost a lot of weight - I am now 132 lbs, which is my healthy weight, but there have been times I've been down to 110 because of anxiety.


After seeking medical help for my anxiety, I was prescribed Paxil, and it has made a world of difference! I am not plagued by constant worry anymore. I would recommend this or a similar medication to anyone who has constant anxiety.

[samara's on tv]

I'm not exactly sure how my whole emet thing started but I think I might know something about the cause.


When I was in kindergarten there was this kid who said that he didn't feel good. They took him to the nurse and brought him back. He was sitting RIGHT behind me and he V*Ed. I didn't really freak out until the ambulance came and took him away. It scared me because I guess that's when I made the connection of being SICK to having to go to the hospital. It turns out that his appendix was inflamed and he had to get them out.


I hated going to school it seemed like in every grade there was always someone getting sick. I would always freak out. I remember in third grade there was a girl who V*ed. She also sat right behind me when it happened and some of it hit the back of my chair. I didn't want to sit back in that chair EVER again but of course I was forced to.


While I was growing up my one sister would ALWAYS get sick. I mean no matter what this girl got she would V. She could get a cold...have an allergic reaction to something...hell my sister could stub her toe and V. We joke about that but It's true. I remember that when she used to get sick I wouldn't even be on the same FLOOR of the house as her. We used to only have ONE TV and when one of us was sick we would lay there and watch it. Well when she or my other sister was sick I would camp out in the basement playing games or go up to my room and read. I would actually AVOID watching TV with her...I would AVOID her all together. And the blankets she used when she was sick...I was ALWAYS sure to get them washed before I used them. I used to have to share a room with her *Shudders* that was so hard because I was always afraid she would wake up in the middle of the night and be sick.


The last time I v*ed was back when I was in 10th grade. I remember sitting by the toilet for an hour trying to convince myself that I wasn't going to be sick but I was wrong. It was terribly painful for me to V because I wouldn't just LET it come I was trying SO HARD to hold it back. It sucked for me because I have Acid Reflux Disease and most of the V was bile.


I don't know if the whole kindergarten thing was what made me an EMET. I don't know if it was growing up with sisters that were constantly sick. I do know that I have been living with the fear for 20 years. I haven't thrown up in about 4 or 5 and for that I'm greatful. If It were up to me I'd never puke again.


~Monica

[mjewell]

After reading these stories there are quite a few connections that are VERY obvious to me.


1. Most of us seem to be women, at least fom what i can tell


2. Everyone's fears seem to be from grade school memories of kids in class or siblings getting sick. Another thing - isn't it funny thatyou can so vividly remember those moments? But can you so vividly remember many other memories from when you were that young? hmmmm


3. Most people have mentioned that their parents, family, friends would get mad at them, or frustrated or laugh at them for their fear, tell them they were being ridiculous, etc.


4.Most people have had bad experiences with the dr. i.e., the dr. told them there was nothing wrong with them or didn't really try to figure out what the problem was.


Those are the most common things i see turning up in almost everyone of these posts, and they stand out with me because they are all the case with me. I wonder if emetophobia starts when you are little because as someone else said, as a kid it is traumatic to throw up, and when parents or other kids make a big deal saying EW! or making fun, that only multiplies it. That makes a lot of sense to me, but what doesn;t make sense to me is how we seem to be the only ones out of our classes that it affected for the rest of our lives?? Perhaps we are more sensitive than most people? who knows.


The other thing I noticed about me, and I think a few other people mentioned this too, is that I literally getANGRY at people for v'ing and not making it ot the bathroom, and when I was young I would get so mad at teachers or nurses for not sending kids home when they were sick. OOH I would get so mad for making me be exposed to that!! Even a couple months ago I was at a wedding in Phoneix, i was one of the bridesmaids, and the maid of honor has a little boy who had been sick for the last 2 days. The mother is a single mom and she had final exams so she had no choice but to take him with her even though he had some kind of flu, so she is sitting there telling me about how he did it in Kinkos that day, then at school while she was taking her test, then in the computer lab...I just wanted to scream at her why the hell would you put your kid through that and the other people around you? God forbid I would have been one of the people in Kinkos or something. I would have killed her.