I'm sick of playing this game where I sit in my kitchen and open up cupboards and the fridge and freezer and back to the cupboards, and not wanting to eat anything in there. I know if i eat it I will feel sick. My brain won't shut off. I just want to eat something. I'm tired of plain toast. I'm tired of rice. I'm tired of losing this weight. I'm tired of all of this. I'm effing exhausted. I can't wake up tomorrow and know that I have to eat AGAIN. I don't want to eat. I don't want to get sick. I don't want this disease anymore. I can't do it.