I can’t take it anymore......

[terified girl]

My brain is going to explode.....I've spoken about wanting ti have kids already but for the last 2 weeks, ppl I don't even know have been telling me what a miracle it is to have kids, and just this morning while I was at work, one of my co-workers friends came by the office, and I ended up talking with him while my co-worker was on a call, and he started telling me how wonderful it is to have kids and to not wait too long and to not let the opportunity pass me by. It feels like someone is trying to send me a message, but I don't want kids because of the emet and when they grow up and catch flu's and then me panicking everyday over those things, and plus it could ruin your marriage, and your always so tired and exhausted looking after kids, but a part of me does want them...........


I am going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Help!

[kmarie]

I feel your pain..trust me!!! I am a newly wed...kinda..been married for a year and everyone is asking whe we are having kids..and telling me how much of a blessing they are...and I want a baby so very badly.


BUT...i have other issues besides the emet that need to be taken care of..i hate my job and want something better..we need a hosue of our own (though I love the one we rent my husband wants bigger and better..and i dont blame him)...i need to get my emet under control..as well as depresion and anxiety..i also have a form of sexual disfunction i guess..and sex is painfil beyond words..so...once i get thos things under control..then we will have a baby..


as fr you..if emet is the only thing holding you back..go for it..if you have a good job..loving aprtner..good home...then go for it..seriously....being pregnant and having a baby may help..it may not be easy..but i think it would be worth it. If it were just emet i was worried about id still do it...

[hethmares]

Oh hon here's a BIGHUG for you! You do what feels right for you not what people tell you if right for you. If you are meant to have kids you will. I have pretty bad emet panic attacks and although I feared having kids for many years because of my emet, one day I woke up and realized I reallywanted kids even with my emet. I decided that I would just take it one day at a time because I realized that I really did want kids...And it has been very very very hard I will not lie having kids and being an emet, but being a mom/parent is amazing...


Being a parent you have your good days and bad days with your emet. I know there are days that my son complains of a tummy ache and I don't panic and there are other (usually more)days he just looks strange and I will flip out. Parenting as an emet is a day by day thing to get through. Like I said, you'll know when and if you're ready to have kids. You may never feel completely ready and then again you may wake up one day like I did and just say screw this, I'm going for it. Give it time...I'm happy that I made the decision to have kids despite my emet though, I had never knowncomplete happiness until I had my kids. HTH!

[terified girl]

Thanks guys for your emcouraging words, I guess though that I will battle with this decision for a very long time. Because even though you say kids are so worth it, I read the other stuff and say I really don't want to go through that, so I'm exactly 50/50, and being 50/50, you can fight with yourself forever and Imight wind up regretting the decision I made and I think that's what scares me the most out of all this.


But thanks again guys!

[sage]

It can ruin your marriage??? Says who?


The divorce rate is 50% - whether they survey people with kids or no kids.


I'm a family therapist and trust me, lots of stuff ruins marriages, but it's all related to how couples interact, communicate and relate to one another...outside factors such as money, kids, careers - are really irrelevant.

[sarahx]

You can only decide for yourself, unfortunately. I am desperate for another baby, i already have a daughter who is nearly 3. And yes im scared when shes ill, but its strange because you love them so very much that you really would clean their sick up or hold their hair back! Seriously i panic everytime my daughter has a cold or says she has tummy ache but the good things TOTALLY outweigh the bad. And as for being pregnant, not evryone gets morning sickness etc, and being pregnant is great. es it will be worth it and if anyhing a child only makes things between partners better!! I hope you can sort this out and stop tormenting yourself. You will have plenty of support if things get tough.


((((hugs))))


Sarah xxx

[ontariogirl]

Terifiedgirl; Does your husband know that you have this phobia? I had my first child at 19. I lived with my parents with my son. When I became pregnant I knew that I wanted to have him. With this phobia I couldn't close to anyone, I didn't have many friends at all. I would cancel a lot of outings at the last minute which angered my so called friends. Being pregnant I knew I had so much love to give to my child, love that I found difficult to give to people. I wasn't thinking of my child catching flu's. It was me who woke up ever 4 hours to feed him I did everything and when he did get sick my mother was there to help me. Having children is a wonderful feeling. My oldest will be 21 in Jan. and when I look at him the little boy that I brought up by myself a smile appears on my face knowing the even because of this phobia I brought up a smart, mature, good looking, good hearted, hard working young man. There is such a positive outlook with having kids, dontlet thisphobianot want you to have kids. My youngest is 12 and I wouldn't trade anything for the world. Yes he gets the flu andYES I do freak out like you wouldn't believe but they are not sick everyday. I have limits, I hardly take him to the movies, out to dinner; for parent/teacher interviews I do them over the phone, the principal knows aboutmy phobia and panic attacks so I try to make it easier on myself meanwhilemaking up those times with my son, we grab dvd's to watch movies etc, at times I make myself go out and do things with him it is hard but it is not as bad as you think.Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel.


Rhonda