Bringing my best friend to detox

[Beathedog]

Hi. I'm new here. I googled and found this site because my phobia has been worsening over the winter and the panic attacks have been more frequent. Then today happened... sigh.

My best friend and business partner has been sober for 90 days. Part of the reason I think we're friends is because I'm pretty grounding for her, as I don't drink much. Anyway... this past weekend, she fell off the wagon. Another friend of ours called me and asked if I could come over to watch her kids while we both figured out where to take our friend to dry out.

During this, our friend was sobering up... she was upset, but lucid. She understood why we were getting her help and agreed to our plan - which was for her brother in law to take the kids to his house and for me to drive her to the detox place. Something about seeing the kids being taken out of their house triggered her, because in the following 5 minutes she managed to down something while our backs were turned, and by the time we were in the car, she was slurring and out of her mind.

The detox center was 10 minutes away and I couldn't get there fast enough. But by the time I did, she was completely slumped over and moaning. AAAH! I jumped out of the car and ran in to get someone to help bring her inside. A guy from the center came outside and talked to her through the car window. She refused to get out and wouldn't answer his questions. Then he told me he couldn't admit her in this state and I'd have to take her to an ER. He went back inside and she laid down across my car seats. I stayed out of the car, totally panicking. There was NO way I could get back in the car with her. I had this thought that she may have taken a bunch of pills in addition to the vodka I smelled on her and was possibly OD'ing in my car and I STILL couldn't help her!!! The panic attack was so bad, I could barely dial the phone for help.

So instead of driving her straight to an ER, I called a bunch of our friends and eventually got one who was willing to meet me at my car and take her to the hospital. He's still with her waiting to be admitted (at least 8 hours later). Her blood levels were non-lethal and they're refusing to give her a bed. And now that I know that she's basically OK, just drunk, I should just say it's OK for her to come to my house and sleep it off and take her back to the detox place in the AM. But. I. Can't.

Because I don't want to see or hear her v*ing.

I feel like an awful human being.

This thing sucks.

[olschesky]

sorry.....i know how frightening this can be........one of my friend's sons was a heroin addict......for some reason he reached out to me for help........but didn't want to go to detox.....he would come to my house high.....v in my bathroom, etc. it is really a scarey feeling to not feel able to help someone because they might get sick........i would just keep telling myself that i couldn't get sick from it which helped a little........but still hating hearing it, etc.

you did the best you could........so don't beat yourself up over it......i know your friend realizes that you are trying to help her.......you did well just being able to drive with her in your car not knowing what might happen........

you will be there for her in other ways..........and she will appreciate it

[KaydeeJayde]

You are amazing just taking her there in the first place. It sounds like SUCH a hard situation, but you did the best you could in the situation, and you did the right thing calling someone who COULD bring her to the hospital. I know a few people who would have left her there, and you didn't do that. You did amazingly. I wouldn't have been able to get in the car with her in the first place.

I hope she does the detox, it sounds like she needs help. I hope it all works out in the end. Big hugs!

[Chandler]

Beathedog
Whats your personal phobia? Are you across of v*in yourself? Others? People making you v*? I used to be petrified and could t cope with drunk people because of all the v*. But after a rather life changing experience I managed to pull myself together and realised what my phobia is. Myself being s*, now that's just me, Im perfectly able to handle myself around drunks and help drunk people v*ing out because I know that no matter what happens. A drunk person won't make me v*. It's not contagious after all.
So I'm going to presume your phobia stems from others being I'll around you. What exactly do you not like? ( I'm trying to paint s picture in my head of how others peoples emet affects them ) :-)
Well done for coping as well as you did, 2 years ago i would t of let a drunk person in my car, let alone drive them anywhere.

[Beathedog]

Chandler...

Unfortunately, it's all of it. Ultimately, I don't want to v* OR be around it. But in the hierarchy of fear, someone who us drunk is less terrifying because at least, I don't continue to panic afterwards. With an sv, I panic for days until I think enough time has passes without catching it.

Knowing I won't catch it doesn't make the panic in the moment that someone else is sick any less intense. Boats, ER's, amusement parks are all miserable for me.

Just as an aside, my friend eventually got out of the ER and into a Detox center. She's going to be fine, but I'm still unreasonably mad at her for putting me in that position.

Ugh.

[hairyfairy]

I don`t drive, but if I did there`s no way that I`d allow a drunk, drugged or sick person into my car.

[chocolategirl]

That is a pretty hard thing to do for anyone even without emet. You are brave!! Hope she gets better!