Thanks everybody for you replies and your moral support! It is all very much appreciated <3 I'm just updating how I have been since the v* episode, almost a month ago. Maybe it's of some interest to people, maybe not. I do find it helps to put things straight in me head

I was doing really well the first three weeks. No thoughts of vomiting, no panic, nothing. Just complete and utter calmness, which I used to work hard on new music and doing things with my boyfriend.
Last week, I got a nasty sinus infection followed by bronchitis, which I haven't had since my childhood. I naturally lost my appetite, but I had a very hard time getting back to eating. I made up excuses to not eat, or just a cracker etc. I realized that I was going to go back to panic and emet soon, if I would give in to my fears. So I decided to stop myself from not eating/ just eating safe foods and thinking bad thoughts. It was difficult, specially with the couch attacks I was having, and I coudn't help thinking about times when kids are so stuck in their coughs, that they v*. But then again, I said to myself, which is worse:
a. Taking the risk of v*?
b. Taking the risk of going back to being constantly AFRAID of v*, and reagarding EVERYTHING I put in my mouth as a risk of v*?

Everytime I feel like giving in to not eating (which has always been my main emet problem, refusing to eat), I ask myself that question. Right now, I will tak the risk of v*. I know I couldn't have done that a month ago. But if I can get nauseous on a moving ship, in the dining room, run to my room, and v* in an unfamiliar place, I can survive it anywhere.

So for now, still success! Again thanks to everybody for their support and tips <3 <3