it's....gone...?

[Lieke]

Hey all,

I haven't been anxious/phobic since the v* experience on the cruise. I am not sure if it's going to stay, but man, I have had the easiest, nicest weeks since a long time. I am not even thinking about v* anymore...
Before this episode, I didn't v* for 15 years. Did I really make it all so bad, in my head?? I almost can't believe how scared I was, I can't FEEL it anymore. I KNOW it though, on a rational level.

Did anybody else have this after a v* experience? Will it stay?

[crystalmom]

I truly hope that it does for you!

I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with my first child. I v* so much, that I basically became immune. Even when the morning sickness stopped, I was not nervous at all about sv*, it stopped in the beginning of October, or of anything related to v*. Alas, I do not remember the exact time frame when the phobia came back, but it did.

I really hope that you are cured!

[Lieke]

Hey,

Thanks for your comment! I am so sorry that it came back....I hope you do menage to get strength out of the knowledge that you know you can fee better, somehow.

I fear it's not going to stay either...I can already see some "symptoms" coming back, unfortunately. But i am trying really hard to kill those symptoms instantly.

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

When those symptoms try to come back, stop them by reminding yourself that when you actually did vomit, it wasn't as bad as you had made it out to be in your head.

[stefanie]

I had this as well. It's been years since I v* and I remember having the phobia during that time and that day I had the sv* I got sick and after I got sick I was like "oh, it's not as bad as I was making it out to be" and I was ok for a good year and then I don't know when but it came back. It' back like really bad now since last year when my hubby caught a sv* I didn't catch it but I was terrified during his episode and ever since I've even develped a bit of mysophobia as well.

I hope you are completly cured just don't let it come back if that's possible! I think its very possible to be cured of it after a v* episode, so sorry you had to v* but if it means you are cured then yay!

[Myinah]

Hey

I am not completely cured of my phobia, but after a lot of therapy and a virus that made me feel very bad for several weeks last year, I know that I am in a better place than I was and that although when I feel n* I do feel anxious, it doesnt blow up to the extreme it once did and I am able to manage through my own coping mechanisms. The phobia also no longer dominates my thoughts.

Even if you were not totally cured I think you have probably at the very least moved into a more positive place where you have gained lots more control over you fear so either way it is positive.

Hope you continue to be free of it

[Lieke]

Thanks everybody for you replies and your moral support! It is all very much appreciated <3 I'm just updating how I have been since the v* episode, almost a month ago. Maybe it's of some interest to people, maybe not. I do find it helps to put things straight in me head

I was doing really well the first three weeks. No thoughts of vomiting, no panic, nothing. Just complete and utter calmness, which I used to work hard on new music and doing things with my boyfriend.
Last week, I got a nasty sinus infection followed by bronchitis, which I haven't had since my childhood. I naturally lost my appetite, but I had a very hard time getting back to eating. I made up excuses to not eat, or just a cracker etc. I realized that I was going to go back to panic and emet soon, if I would give in to my fears. So I decided to stop myself from not eating/ just eating safe foods and thinking bad thoughts. It was difficult, specially with the couch attacks I was having, and I coudn't help thinking about times when kids are so stuck in their coughs, that they v*. But then again, I said to myself, which is worse:
a. Taking the risk of v*?
b. Taking the risk of going back to being constantly AFRAID of v*, and reagarding EVERYTHING I put in my mouth as a risk of v*?

Everytime I feel like giving in to not eating (which has always been my main emet problem, refusing to eat), I ask myself that question. Right now, I will tak the risk of v*. I know I couldn't have done that a month ago. But if I can get nauseous on a moving ship, in the dining room, run to my room, and v* in an unfamiliar place, I can survive it anywhere.

So for now, still success! Again thanks to everybody for their support and tips <3 <3

[asianeko]

I'm glad you're still doing well! One thing that has helped me going (working on two years mostly anxiety free now) is thinking "Do I want to be where I was before?" I see you're doing the same thing, which is SO helpful! Another way I like to think of it is, "Should I give into the emet and let it control my life? Or should I just add to the list more things I can do without worry?" Keep staying strong!

[Myinah]

Well done you! You are doing so great. Another thing I tell myself when I'm having a bit of an off day or a bad thought is that one bad day means nothing! It doesnt mean we are back to square one, we can just dust ourselves off and keep going with our life. You are doing brilliantly!

[ssjj]

Wow, you sound like you have done so well! I would urge you to just try to push yourself to break away from habits - who knows, you could be near the end of this!

[Lieke]

Half a month further and still doing pretty good!

I had one episode of panic, took gravol and hated myself for it. On the other hand, one fall back in almost 2 months...I shouldn't hate myself for that

Still approaching it the same way as I described above. I haven't been on here much. partially because I forget, partially because I don't understand the majority of the post at the moment, sometimes I just want to say "snap out of it!!!! get help!!" But I realize I was in the same situations 3 months ago, and I definitely don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I just want, and hope, that everybody will get better <3