Well, it took a month but I'm finally getting some responses to this thread!

I agree completely with iNurture as I think that, to paraphrase FDR, we are fearing the fear itself! It's true that I was pretty scared and anxious that night in August but what's also true is that, after a couple of hours of nausea (although this was only after a couple of hours and not right through!) I was sat in the bathroom and actually did think, "If it'll make me feel better than bring it on!", which is on the face of it a pretty astonishing thing for an emet to think. It's not quite that simple unfortunately as my reflex reaction to retching was to try and swallow it back down each time before I finally thought "just do it!", but it does make me wonder what it is I'm really scared of here.

Plus, although I did panic on the last "official" time I was sick back when I was 10 (in fact I clamped my hand over my mouth so violently that first time that I actually scratched my face quite badly), what I'm drawing encouragement from is the time before that, at 9 years old, when I was sick twice one Sunday afternoon and remember cheerfully telling my aunt afterwards that "I don't mind the being sick, it's the feeling sick for a few hours before that I can’t stand". This not only tells me that the act itself is perhaps not the real issue but also that my phobia hasn’t always been this bad and if that is the case then it is also (hopefully) reversible and treatable.