Tina

[Baglietto]

Is anyone who uses this site living with an emetophobic. I feel like I m the only person who s partner has got this illness and it is killing me watching him do this to himself. Can anyone help to give me some ideas of how I can cope with it.

[MakeHerProud]

Be there for him! If he needs to talk...I always feel like I have no one to talk to because it's such an embarrassing silly thing. But if you're there for him, that will mean the world.

[olschesky]

i agree.......the best thing you can do is read up on it......lots of posts on this forum will help you to understand what he's going through and probably find lots of advice on how to help him.

really glad to see a "partner" trying.......we know it can be frustrating to you as well as it is to us......
is he a member here also? it's been very helpful for me so maybe he could give it a try

thanks for caring so much

[Cupcake x]

I understand where you're coming from. I see my boyfriend frustrated with my phobia on a daily basis and it makes me feel horrible that I'm such a bother to him.

The best advice I can give you is to just be there and listen when he needs someone to talk to or vent to or just a shoulder to cry on. Read up some of the FAQ's on this site so you can try to understand where he is coming from and be able to say "I understand what you're going through".

I know it's hard but just being there can be the best thing in the world. Good luck with everything.

[Baglietto]

Thankyou every one for replying. Just feels like its never ending. No one seems to know how to cure this problem or has even heard of it. You feel so alone.

[concernedgf]

Baglietto, I am also the partner of an Emetophobic. We have been together for about 8 months, and I have known about the phobia since we began dating. He has given up hope that he can someday be fully or even partially cured. This website has been extremely informative and has helped me to understand what he is going through.

Also, Cupcake x; if he loves you, you are not a bother to him. My boyfriend thinks that he is a bother to me as well. Trust me, you are not. If he is frustrated, it is more than likely because he doesn't feel as though he is able to help you. I would give anything to see my boyfriend free of the anxiety and stress caused by the phobia. So don't feel horrible, his frustration is probably just because he loves you and cares about you. Sorry, this is like a paragraph..and written at almost 2am so it probably doesn't make sense.

[retrohannah]

Just be there for them and answer their questions no matter how silly. If the quirks start to annoy you just walk out the room and remember it's something that's very hard for us to control. Offer ideas like when they feel stressed to come on here instead of vent to you, or keep a diary, or seek psychiatric help. Thanks for dealing with this and I hope your relationship lasts!

[haylz113]

My boyfriend understands my phobia. I feel horrible sometimes though. Not long ago he felt really sick like he wanted to vomit, and I couldn't even be there for him to make him feel better. He wanted me to sit with him and keep him company but I couldn't because I was scared he would need to vomit and I would have to hear or see it. What kind of girlfriend am I, not to even be able to look after my sick boyfriend? He says he understands, but I still feel horrible. It hasn't affected our relationship much other than once or twice when he hasn't felt well, and sometimes when I don't want to go out at night. He accepts it I guess, because he understands that it scares the crap out of me. He doesn't love me any less. It helps that he makes me feel like he understands how I feel, so just be supportive.

[Blushes]

My boyfriend understands my phobia. I feel horrible sometimes though. Not long ago he felt really sick like he wanted to vomit, and I couldn't even be there for him to make him feel better. He wanted me to sit with him and keep him company but I couldn't because I was scared he would need to vomit and I would have to hear or see it. What kind of girlfriend am I, not to even be able to look after my sick boyfriend? He says he understands, but I still feel horrible. It hasn't affected our relationship much other than once or twice when he hasn't felt well, and sometimes when I don't want to go out at night. He accepts it I guess, because he understands that it scares the crap out of me. He doesn't love me any less. It helps that he makes me feel like he understands how I feel, so just be supportive.

I feel like you and I have the same situation. My boyfriend is the last person on earth to feel freaked out when someone vomits (in fact, he's the first person at the scene to comfort and help others). I admire him for this beyond words, because I'm feeble when it comes to being a source of comfort for others when they're sick. One summer while we were at his family's cabin, he got really sick and was throwing up all night. I was in the next room covering my ears and crying because I wanted so badly to be there for him, but I felt like my fear was a terrifying, crippling presence. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. I can't explain how irrational and horrible the fear is, but it's very real to me and he understands. It's just sad knowing that he will always be there for me on my worst day (while understanding how badly I struggle with this phobia), yet I feel like I can't always be there for him in the same way. It's not so much a strain on our relationship though; it's only when there are times that he's ill and I feel like it's too difficult to help him.

I've found over the years that compassion and love for others helps to slowly melt away the fear and anxiety. Hopefully someday I can repay him for all the kindness and patience he's shown me, because having him as a source of strength in my darkest--and even silliest--moments helped with my phobia. For example, when we go to the movies and there's a retching scene that I can't watch, I'm hiding my face in his jacket while he blankly stares at the screen like it's nothing. Thinking about our sharp contrast makes me laugh sometimes. But what I love most is that he doesn't make fun of me (because on occasion some people have teased me about it, making the phobia even worse). Although I'm not fully cured, just knowing that I have room to make mistakes and "screw up" with my partner's support has been a very liberating step in this journey.