NOONE in my family understands!

[jbsmom]

I have read many posts on here about how to get your husband to understand this phobia. None of these work for mine. He is in the army and has had to deal with many situations that blow V* out of the water....at least in his opinion. I have tried to explain to him that the worst thing he has done is how i feel when i think about, go around, hear about, or even read about v*. He tells me that its stupid to feel the way I do about something so natural...maybe it is but I can't help it. He says that its not that common a thing, but then why does he do it at least once a year and sometimes twice????? We also have 3 boys, the oldest, 15 yrs, is Horrible about making it to the bathroom, the other 2 are still very young and I worry every day that someone doesnt feel well, especially if they dont want to eat. My husband tells me to quit asking them how they are feeling cause i am bugging them. They dont seem to care and I cant stop asking them. The little guys are too young to understand and the oldest doesnt seem to pay any attention. My Mother doesnt know about it because she would call me weak. She is a very head strong woman and believes that you can control everything with your mind. She says that 90% of an illness is in your head. Which maybe to true to a certain degree. This is an illness that I am SURE is in my head but that is precisely the problem. My father, he has his own issues. My brothers I am sure they would laugh me off the planet. So with no where else to turn I turned to a friend.
A friend that isnt one of my closest. I dont know why i felt compelled to tell her but I did. I told her some of the things i go through during those moments. I told her that i know its truly irrational but i cant stop my mind and body from going through these crazy things. I even told her that I wont watch a certain TV show or even let it be on in my house because it was on when i was 9 yrs old and i V*ed. Crazy as all that is....she didnt tell me how stupid i am, she didnt judge and ditch me as her friend. She didnt do anything but listen and try to understand....what a relief! It feels much better to have someone that cares enough to listen and try to understand. So I guess the message here is...Tell someone, anyone, that you think will understand or at least wont judge you. This website is great but you need someone that is physically in your life to be on your team too.

[Keeley]

Ask him to put himself in your shoes. Or ask him to be considerate that it terrifying.

[kellybeth]

It is very hard when people just think your nuts. I have an awsome Husband who helps me and understands how scared I am of it. But at times I can tell that it gets on his nerves when I don't want to eat a nice meal he has cooked me or I can't go certain places with him.

I guess I can understand where your husband is coming from because I'm sure he has seen many horrible things. But your phobia is filled with true feelings and is terrifing to you as bombs are to him.

[JDemchak]

It's hard when family doesn't understand what you go through with this. For the longest time, I didn't even know I had this phobia or that there was even a name for it. I've actually made several loved ones quite angry when I would say that I would rather see them die than see them get sick. I worry that I'll never be able to have children with my husband as just the idea of being around kids that could get sick at any time terrifies me.

[Lynn1977]

I am 51 years old and still find it hard to confide in people. Whenever I have opened up to certain people they say they understand but expect you to get over it. Well, over the years I have found out that unless they are walking in your shoes or suffer from the same phobia they cannot possible understand it. To this day, I still "flee" from the room or area when V occurs. I still break out in a cold sweat, shake, find it hard to breathe and cry. I seclude myself in what I consider to be my safe room. I have trouble going in my own bathroom if a family member has been sick in there. I guess I believe the "germs" are just waiting to jump on me or something. My son became a father at the age of 16. I told him I could not go through raising another child the way he was raised (around my phobia). He chose to give his child up for adoption. I suffer everyday the guilt that comes from this. I will go to my grave with regret and guilt about this. That's how bad my fear of V is. It has a control on my life like nothing else. My family really needs to try and understand this. I wish they would because for the first time in many years I am going to take care of myself.

Lynn

[Laurenroseh]

Hi I'm 13 and I understand I've had this since I was about 4 years old. Also the first and last time I've been sick was when I was four. My friends always ask me what would I do if I was sick myself, I don't even know it's a a scary thought.
My sister gets sick quite often. And when I do I usually stay at my nanas or a friends. My nana has a disease where she can't properly digest food.so she says she throws up every morning. I can't even think of that.

When my sister is in the car and she's not feeling well I get extreme anxiety. When someone says they don't feel well I ALWAYS ask if it's "cold sick" or "throw up sick"

And when I'm watching a show when the character vomits I mute it and close my eyes or my friend knows and will tell me when to shut my eyes

So in the long run I have lots of support but some think it's silly but actually it's a true phobia and it's actually quite commen. So don't worry guys your not alone and just because you have a phobia doesn't mean people should treat you any different. Your still the same person they married,or grew up and went to school with!
LOVE LAUREN<3