What now?

[Lizard]

I am now thirty and have been terrified of being sick since I was very young, been for many sessions to try and work out the root of my problem. It frustrates me that I can not work out why this started but also kind of fed up trying to figure out when and where it all began and just want to be over it. I have tried CBT, Self Help and recently Hypnotherapy and I still have the fear. I do not know what to do now. I have made some progress throughout the years I think it is a maturity thing rather than anything else.

I can now:
watch other people v
look after a sick child albeit still with a little trepidation

I now know:
V*ing won't kill me

I however still have a number of issues and would appreciate any comments or feedback:

I have terrible panic attacks if I think I am going to be sick I can almost feel the fear rising from the pit of my stomach all the way upto my neck. I start to pace the floor, I bite my hand to distract my body from actually being sick or more recently I have been scratching my forearm and leaving myself with deep cuts in my arms, I also open a window so that I begin to shiver again with the intention of distracting my brain from the v* that needs to escape my body. Does anyone else use this distraction method and have you found a way to stop harming yourself?

I had not been sick for 15 years until I overindulged in alcohol at a hen party one year in Spain, I was away from home and was ill the next day in my appartment, thankfully my friends went out and did not see me pacing the floor and panicing like a complete looney. The second time I was sick was on honeymoon and this was sea sickness when I had to v* infront of a whole boat full of people I felt horrendous but again it did not kill me so why on earth do I get in such a state about it.

I hate feeling like this, I am mortified by the marks I leave on my arm and hand and I am of the age where pregnancy is very high on my agenda but I fear that so much because of the phobia.

Not sure what to do or where to go now. Please help x

[olschesky]

there are lots of emet moms on here that can answer those questions.....i never had that "mom instinct" so never really had to worry about the whole pregnancy......but i'm sure i would have been pretty nervous about it also.

i do the "hurting" distraction too.......but usually only if i'm not at home where i can find my distractions like knitting or computer, etc. i'm a pincher...usually my thighs and upper arms.......leaves some nasty bruises sometimes.

my emet and my life has gotten better......not gone......but almost tolerable over the past 10 years........mostly due to taking prozac on a daily basis. this website has also helped me alot.....gotten lots of good info and i feel that trying to help people through panics makes my own less important.

anyway, welcome to the forum and hope you find the answers