This might be a long post, but I can't believe what I've achieved.
For a few weeks now, I've been worried so much about a business trip I had to take to Southampton. It was an amazing opportunity for me and work, but ever since Christmas, my emetophobia had got so bad, that one time I didn't move off of the sofa for almost a week, barely eating anything but a bit of toast (if that).
So, this week, my tummy was a bit strange of course, my heart started racing when I thought about the journey and all the usual anxiety stuff. The trip was meant to be on average four hours long which I hated the thought of, as I'd be sitting in a car!
The Thursday, I got in the car. My hands were sweating, my heart was racing but I was in the car. And guess what? I bloomin' did it. Me. Of allll people, got in the car with two people I don't even know that well, and did it with just ONE stop. The on top of that, I went out for a meal in the evening.
I called my boyfriend on Thursday night and cried. I don't know how I did it, and I was so proud of myself, and he was IMMENSELY proud of me too. He told me how he always knew I had it in me, I just had to find it.
Well then on Friday after some time in the office, I headed back, this time with different people. And, no word of a lie, because of extremely bad traffic, I sat in the car for SIX AND A HALF HOURS WITH A 5 MIN TOILET STOP. Yupp. Would you believe it? PLUS I had a fry up in the morning.
Today, I have been feeling a bit strange on and off, but I think my body is in shock from what I put it through after wrapping myself in a bubble. To some people, this may sound like nothing, but I hate being out of control and I did it. I actually did it.
I just want to say to everyone that your fears can be beaten. No, not overnight, not in a week or a month, but in time, something might click, like it did with me. I still have a fear of v* and that might NEVER go, but I happy that I did something NORMAL without emet stopping me from reaching my goals. I'm sorry this turned out to be an essay but I'm so happy by heart wants to burst!



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