Been there. Wanting to be "normal" so bad you want to die. First, realize you're not nuts or crazy and there's so many people with the same problem. A lot of the time knowing your not alone makes it better, Then you have to realize the panic isn't going to hurt you - it's just gonna cause more panic. My biggest helper was reading books from Dr Claire Weekes (audio books availble too)
Keep hopeful - it can get better