anyone willing to give advice??

[somango]

Okay I'll try to sum this up quickly, long storyish.
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. My best friend set me up with her boyfriends best friend. We were each others first everything. We rarely fight, when we do its usually my fault in bringing something stupid up haha. We don't go to school together, we are about 2hrs apart. But anyways we are on a break right now. For about a week.

Last year was my first year a college, I met this guy Joe. We lived in the same area in the dorm and were the same major. We started hanging out often, I started to like him. But I did nothing about it. Later I found out he has always liked me.

Also in my first year of college one of my friends cousins, Bryan, randomly chatted me online. After that he kind of fell in love with me. We constantly talked and we hung out with my friend along with us. I started to like him too. And this is where things started getting confusing. My mom and my friends thought I should take a break with my boyfriend and see what Bryan was like. After talking for several months and hanging out a few times. I was considering taking a break. But once I thought about it, I stopped liking Bryan and wanted to stay with my boyfriend so I told Bryan I couldn't be with him.

At the beginning of sophomore year, I still have my little crush on Joe. He still likes me too. I am now on my break with my bf. But now I stopped liking Joe too and want to go back to my bf again. I start to like another guy, but once i think about ending it with my bf I don't like that other guy anymore and I just want to be with my bf...why? I'm so confused

Also while on the break, I constantly want to contact my bf, I want him here with me, I just miss him like crazy...


Sorry its so long...

[DeadxxInside92]

I think it's normal to hit a crossroads in long term relationships after you two have been together for so long. You start to wonder what it would be like with someone else because you have only known one person romantically for 3 consecutive years. That saying, 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' really rings true in some cases. It may be what you are experiencing; you miss your boyfriend because you were so comfortable with him due to the fact that you have been together for 3 years. That is normal. It's normal to be confused. It just comes down to who you really could see yourself with in the future. You do however, owe it to yourself and to your boyfriend to be honest in terms of what you truly want. I think it's good to consider the fact that maybe putting the effort in to spice up your current relationship would be better spent than putting in that same effort to starting a new relationship with your crush, which may not even last. However, that is simply my opinion. Good luck!

[somango]

thank you! that makes a lot of sense, helping my mind straighten things out haha...

[DeadxxInside92]

You're welcome! I hope you are able to figure things out!

[CMM811]

I think that as dead inside said you hit a crossroad, you are still young and you may need to "rebel" a lil, maybe it is as you say you need a break but not to be with any other guy but to be you without a guy, do you get what I mean? You have to be 100% happy with yourself and your choices to be happy in a relationship!

[EmR]

I think it means you are in love with your boyfriend

Sorry, I'm quite a mushy romantic type lol

[somango]

thanks guys!

okay my friend told me this...i'm terrible aren't i...i think hes right though..

"If he had any self-respect he'd break up with you. Which is what you deserve, grow up. You have no idea what love is and are absolutely clueless.

Your mother is also clueless. You are both selfish and uncaring with regard to the feelings of others and the very nature of honesty. Take a "break" to check out another guy, really? Are you that self-centered, shallow and inconsiderate?

I hate to say it, but, what you SHOULD have done is tell your boyfriend the truth. Scary thought isn't it? No double cake action and you might even have to deal with some consequences. I'm laughing at you right now because you're in for alot of lessons."

[heydani]

I am in the SAME EXACT BOAT. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years also. I love him, he is the only one who knows everything about me. He is always there for me, always, especially when my stomach is upset or I have a panic attack over v*. He legit does everything for me, and I don't deserve him, I feel like I have begun to need him. Anyway, recently this other guy Matt has started talking with me, and we text and he said he likes me, and I really enjoy talking with him. He is awesome, and funny, and all that. On one hand, I love my boyfriend and wouldn't want to hurt him, plus we know each other so well. On the other hand, I have something new and exciting that I could indulge in. :/ I just can't imagine my life without my boyfriend. I kind of wish we could take a year break to experiment, then get back together, and stay together forever, lol.
Sorry for the longness, any advice though ? Lol :/ I'm a mess.

[somango]

That sounds like me haha
Hurting people is something I want to completely avoid. I know my boyfriend said he wants to marry me and everything. He also knows about my fear, and is usually supportive about it, but sometimes he just can't understand it I guess. I love him...but I don't think i deserve him anymore. I cuddled with my guy friend Joe. So I think I messed everything up :\
But my advice...don't do what I did ha...If you want to try things with Matt then make sure you're honest with you boyfriend. Also do what is best for you. You can't always think about others feelings. (I have to take my own advice sometimes...) If you think you'll be happy with you current boyfriend, don't ruin things. If you think you'll be happy with Matt, take a break or just break up with you boyfriend. Don't hide anything like I did or you will regret it.

[DeadxxInside92]

You need to learn to refuse to be tempted by temptation. Temptation will literally be around every corner. It's scary to imagine your life with only one person, so you are trying to find a way out. If you really think about it, there are 7 billion people in this world. Is it really worth 'indulging' in something even if it means giving up everything you and someone you love have built up over the span of three years? Truly think about it. I am not trying to decide for either of you, but no one on this Earth is perfect. Everyone has flaws. If you truly need to contemplate your 'options' that much, perhaps you are better off without a man to think about what you want. Do some soul searching. Best of luck.

[somango]

Well...I think I made my decision...

[heydani]

I know i shouldnt just throw it away, but what if me and my bf arent meant to be? Like things are getting old and boring between us, there isnt any excitement anymore :/

[scaredsick]

I know i shouldnt just throw it away, but what if me and my bf arent meant to be? Like things are getting old and boring between us, there isnt any excitement anymore :/

just wait til you get married!!! haha!!!

[DeadxxInside92]

That is why you have to find ways to bring the sparks back. It is possible. Anyone new will be exciting because they are well, new...but you may be in the same boat with him later down the rode as well. In my opinion, if you really want to break up, go for it because it would be unfair for your boyfriend if your heart's not really in it. However, you must consider the fact that once/if you let him go, chances are you might lose something really great. If you two feel there is no chemistry or if you feel he is not right for you, then perhaps it would be best to end things. However, if you do choose to break up, I think you should wait awhile before you start a relationship with another guy. I hope the best for you! Good luck!