I was just thinking about my lifetime experiences with v* in general, like before I became emetophobic. My emetophobia started at age 11 when someone got sick on a ride I was on. My brothers were on the same ride, but they weren't affected at all. I, on the other hand turned into a shaking, nervousmess. I think it was aggravated by the fact that my parents wouldn't let me leave the amusment park and acted like it wasn't a big deal. I am ahugecontrol freak and this was the first major situation I felt like I had no control over whatsoever.
Anyway, back further in the past, I can remember just about every v* of other people around me. The first one (outside of babybro spit-up) was in kindergarten when this girl sitting on the floor near me put her hand to her mouth and v*. For a long time after that, I was kind of obsessed with v* - I would go into the bathroom, fill my mouth with water and pretend to v* as I pressed my hands over my mouth. I definitely wasn't scared about it, but it became an obsession. For years after, I always had a plan of what to do in case I needed to v*. This is really gross, but I always kept my shirt tucked in so that if all else failed, I could open the collar and v*. I also got these episodes where I felt sick (I know now they are panic attacks) and I would go to the bathroom frequently and perform this ritual of looking at the pattern of the tiles on the floor in different ways to stop the nausea.
Anyway, my thoughts are that I had this big obsession, but there wasn't necessarily a very negativeaspectto it until that ride when I was 11. I was one of those kids who would ask a friend what color their v* was when they were sick, and I distinctly remember taking a poll of my 2nd grade class to see if they had ever v* at school.So, all of a sudden, this morbid fascination morphs into such an intense phobiabecause all of my neutral feelings about v* turn into strongly negative ones after that one terrible experience. Anyway, that's me analyzing myself. Do you guys have any thoughts on that? What were your feelings about v* before you became an emet?