Why dont people on here like me?

[DylanRichards]

Every post i do i get people ragging on me everytime. Am i doing somthing wrong? Im trying to be nice and help you guys but people get mad =/

[gumdropper1]

Dylan,

You are trying too hard to win approval. Trying to win approval at all is bad for you. You might also come on too strong by calling yourself a cured emet and an expert. Not very many people who have come through this site can claim to have been cured. If your recent upchucking cured you, then great. But on top of having only very recently vomited and claiming to be cured from it, you are also a very new member at IES. Give people time to get used to you before insisting you have the power to cure them. We've had people come to IES before and hold themselves out as experts and get shot down. Members probably wouldn't have shot them down if the person hadn't decided to claim to be an expert.

And most people who read these threads don't rag on you. Most probably don't even pay attention to user names. Even if we rag on you, it doesn't mean we don't like you. Posting a thread that calls attention to the fact that you perceive people don't like you doesn't do anything to help.

If people are indeed getting mad at you, it's because you're being too forceful in your postings. To make it less likely a post will aggravate people, edit it to remove all the emotional content. Lose the adverbs and the adjectives. Then do something fun for 10-20 minutes and come back and reread your message before deciding to send it.

Doug

[DylanRichards]

Im not an expert? And i never said i was. I said i was here to talk to if anyone ever needed me.

[gumdropper1]

^ You posted that exactly three minutes after my message, which proves you couldn't have done anything fun for 10-20 minutes before you sent it.

Anyway, on another thread you wrote:
"I have tooken classes at the Phobia and Anxiety center of southwest michigan. I know what im talking about and am confident people can be turned around quick. There is no "CURE" for anxiety, theres way to control it, instead of it controlling you. Theres a 6 part system i know of to help panic attacks about v*"

So you are claiming to be an expert.

Doug (emetophobia expert since 1997)

[Janelle]

Doug has great advice! I think a lot of it has to do with how vague your posts about helping others are. If you have techniques that work for you, then that is great but it seems strange that you ask for people to message you privately first. I think if you keep in mind how others might perceive your post and try to fill the blanks for them things will work better for all of us. I don't think people don't like you, but rather we don't really know you and you've come in here with strong opinions

[sdfl]

No one here dislikes you, or should. They were just wary of your claims, considering you have only claimed to have been cured a week, and you haven't given any back to your claim of being able to cure emet to their immediate satisfaction. That's not a personal attack on you, no one insulted you.... so you should probably not take it personally.

[Paisley]

Just because people question something you post, doesn't mean they don't like you. I, for one, don't even know you, so how can I not like you? I did have some questions that you seem to be unable to answer on your post about your emetophobia cure. That doesn't mean I don't like you. That just means I'm questioning what you were talking about. Big difference.

[becca44]

Nobody dislikes you, we are just cynical of quick fixes. A lot of people on here have tried all sorts of therapys and meds and are still phobic. Its not easily cured. If you are cured then everybody im sure is happy for you. I love you doug, you always speak sense and give great advice. Im feeling the festive love today, haha. Please dylan if you have a way that could help at least some of us please share it on the boards.

[spilled_milk]

I like you, if that helps. I try not to judge anyone on the boards unless they say something directly offensive to me, which you hadn't. Some members are a little more wary of new members, as we have had some trolls.

[DylanRichards]

Well, im done with this anyway. I cant take all the criticism lol! So ill try and figure out how i delete this and ill just say it never happend! Sorry for all the troubles~

[lizzo]

Drama doesn't last on IES anyways.

[barbiegirl]

Drama doesn't last on IES anyways.

But always seems to rear its ugly head. This is right up there with the "I'm leaving but really not" tantrum threads. Blah.

[lizzo]

But always seems to rear its ugly head. This is right up there with the "I'm leaving but really not" tantrum threads. Blah.

Hahah. So true!

[1scareddj]

but always seems to rear its ugly head. This is right up there with the "i'm leaving but really not" tantrum threads. Blah.

lmfao!!!!!!!

[DylanRichards]

Drama? Haha. jeeez

[eils20]

i gotta say, ive read some of your posts and i agree with some of the other members.
i have suffered for 16/17 years with emet, and have tried every possible way of trying to "cure" it. cd's, books, cbt, counselling, anti depressants, you name it!

i dont think anyone dislikes or hates you, but i do feel that to come on and post one minute about panicking and then the next about being recovered leaves people a little hesitant to take some of the stuff you say seriously. it takes a lot longer than a week to sort something like this out. its a deep rooted mental anxiety that needs alot of attention and work.
theres alot of people on here that have suffered for 30 odd years, and can cope very well using their own techniques and calming methods, but would probably agree that thats one of the better ways you can keep the phobia under control.

i have gone for months on end with no worry or panic at all, and then one day it will all kick off and im back to square one. theres so many different types of this phobia, i doubt there is one method that you can come on to the forum with that you can be positive it will work on everyone, cause it wont. people are different, and their phobias vary greatly.

some of the posts you have are a bit vague and dont explain any form of methods people can use, and i guess thats why some members would find it frustrating. cause you dont actually explain anything.

thats just my view!

[Cupcake x]

Dylan, you can't delete your posts but you can edit them to be blank. There's no way to complete remove it though. I think saying people don't like you is a little harsh. You are new and you claimed to have a "quick fix" for emet and it just seems a little odd because we all know that there is no "quick fix" for this phobia. Also, when people have asked you to share what you know, you have an excuse as to why you won't share it and your excuse is pretty invalid in my opinion.

Hopefully you find this site to be helpful to you in some way in the future or I hope that you find a more effective way to help others if that is your goal. One last little note- creating this thread probably didn't help your cause.

[Cupcake x]

i gotta say, ive read some of your posts and i agree with some of the other members.
i have suffered for 16/17 years with emet, and have tried every possible way of trying to "cure" it. cd's, books, cbt, counselling, anti depressants, you name it!

i dont think anyone dislikes or hates you, but i do feel that to come on and post one minute about panicking and then the next about being recovered leaves people a little hesitant to take some of the stuff you say seriously. it takes a lot longer than a week to sort something like this out. its a deep rooted mental anxiety that needs alot of attention and work.
theres alot of people on here that have suffered for 30 odd years, and can cope very well using their own techniques and calming methods, but would probably agree that thats one of the better ways you can keep the phobia under control.

i have gone for months on end with no worry or panic at all, and then one day it will all kick off and im back to square one. theres so many different types of this phobia, i doubt there is one method that you can come on to the forum with that you can be positive it will work on everyone, cause it wont. people are different, and their phobias vary greatly.

some of the posts you have are a bit vague and dont explain any form of methods people can use, and i guess thats why some members would find it frustrating. cause you dont actually explain anything.

thats just my view!

This has nothing to do with your post but you look so pretty in your avi!

[DylanRichards]

All you you guys had the same problem i had. Anxiety, itself will never be cured, with or without the phobia. No matter what your going to have anxiety once in awhile, doesn't mean you have a phobia anymore. So that's my thought on that. if you can go months and months fine and then one day feel panicky, that's normal for any human. All phobias can be cured, some people aren't quipped with the brain tools to do so, so quickly, but anyone can recover, its all in your head. its all about the anticipation. Its never as bad as even the worst case scenario. So all you who keep saying it cant be cured so quickly, its not going to when you keep saying that. in stead of saying, "what if i puke tonight" or "what if i have this forever" how about saying "what if i can cure myself quick?" "what if this can be cured" Be positive, that's the 1st step. Is this still being vague? or does this help you guys?

[kristinak]

Dylan, you aren't being vauge. These are things that every single one of us tell ourselves every day. It is simply not as easy as "talking yourself out of it." I agree that it does involve changing your way of thinking, but it doesn't happen for most of the population in a week. Phobias are irrational fears. I know we all KNOW our fears are irrational. I do think you are on the right path when you talk about changing your way of thinking. This kind of therapy is actually what CBT is all about. However, I would seek the help of a professional who has had years of schooling and experience before I would ever just try and cure myself or take the advice of someone who read a couple of books and claims to be 100 percent better in a week

[afraid213]

as I said before dylanrichards, emetophobia is a psychological problem. it cannot be cure with logical reasoning. if we could be cured by logical reasoning, then none of us would be here right now. I've been told hundreds of times "its not that bad" and "you feel better afterwards" but I still don't give a crap what other people say because in MY MIND, it is still a very very scary experience. so, when I wad talking to you and you disagreed with that fact, it set off a red flag. and then you said something about chemicals in emets minds that basically shut off the gag reflex.....sorry to say this, but whoever told you that was lying. I've worried 24/7 and I still can't brush my tongue too far back or I gag. no body hates you...but when you come here with the post saying you can help and you just joined, its fishy. I've been a member for nearly 6 years now and I have been desperately searching for a cure...like many others, its going to anger us if you say you have the answers and you don't.

[DylanRichards]

Well im here to talk to.

[gumdropper1]

Dylan, you can't delete your posts

That's not true. Just click the button that says "edit" and when the text box comes up, click the box that says delete.

[DeadxxInside92]

No here dislikes you that I am aware of, including myself. I think it's just that everyone here is at their wits end with this phobia and it seemed like you were filling them all with false hope and promises that could not be fulfilled. It's not at all a bad thing and I'm glad to see that you are doing better. Unfortunately, most of us know phobias really cannot be cured per se, and any period of recovery is usually a relatively long process and not something that can be accomplished in a week's time. I hope for the best for you!

[eils20]

This has nothing to do with your post but you look so pretty in your avi!

Aww! That's so sweet! Thank you so much! You made my day haha xx

[Theshadow]

Personally I appreciate the offer. I wasn't aware of people disliking you. I read your other posts but I figured you were trying to solve the problem yourself which isn't easy to do so I was indifferent about the whole thing aside form your offer to talk if we need to.

[katherines6]

i like you dylan, but when i see some of your posts about quick recovery it just kind of frustrates me because i wish i could get over my emet that fast.

[Cupcake x]

Aww! That's so sweet! Thank you so much! You made my day haha xx

You're welcome!