Omg...Omg...Omg...

[sunshine16]

Oh my goodness gracious....

I'm in complete shock.

My mom has a boyfriend.

Omg.....

[sunshine16]

I cannot believe this. I am so shocked. I just found out. Right this minute. I don't want a step dad. I want my dad. Omg....

[snowangel]

Aww Laura you cutie...you are like a little sister to me. You live so close by and I can really relate to you. I have been through all of that hun...MSN me if you need to talk

Snowangel

Just in case you forgot [email protected]

[charzysbebe]

Awwwww, not good if you are longing for your "real" dad. Maybe your mom is just dating...maybe it is something temporary? Whatever the case may be, if your mom is happy, won't that make you happy?? [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Look at it this way...I know the feeling; just think of my reaction when I found out my mom had a girlfriend!!LOL![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Charlotte

[Galadriel]

Well, I know what its like for a parent to have a new person in their life. I admit I got kinda jealous of my dad's gf taking his time away from me. But just know that ok this person is a bf, but it doesn't mean you have to treat him like your father or anything. Your dad will always be your dad, no matter what.

[alliecat]

Hey, I know exactly what you're feeling. When my parents divorced, my mom seemed to move on pretty quickly. I resented her, and freaked out every time she went on a date. When she got serious with my now step dad, it took me forever to warm up to him. It is really difficult to see your mom with someone other than your dad. Just try and relax a little. Its hard to realize this, but mom's have needs *in that way* too. U have every right to be angry, it is okay. It will be weird for a while. If you need to talk, PM me, IM me on AIM at GreenEydGlare, email me at [email protected]... or IM me on MSN at [email protected]. I've been exactly where you are!! It'll be okay.


xoxo


Allie

[sunshine16]

But its just weird because my dad is DEAD...not still there. How can
she cry for my dad and kiss another man the same day? and I can't stop
the thought about what would my dad think?



I cant even talk to my mom about this, its just too difficult. Its been a day and I'm still lost...

[hippychick]

Hey Laura


I understand exactly how you feel. When I was growing up My Mum had a series of Boyfriends and omg it's just weird, so weird lol My Dad also Died when I was 10 and It made me kinda mad you know. So PM me anytime, I have too many funny stories of scaring guys off and stuff hehe. but seriously I get how you feel.


xxxxx

[sunshine16]

Thank you Hippy Chick.

Its good to know I'm not alone.

[jazz]

Oh Laura, I'm so sorry you've had to find out about this! I know it's so hard..My aunty died when i was about 6, and when my uncle starting seeing a lady from his work, my two cousins didn't feel right, and they sorta resented him spending time with her.
Trust me, you're mum will never ever forget your dad, and you probably feel really weird about it right now, but remember to give this guy a chance at making your mum happy.
Thats not to say that he'll make her any happier than your dad did, but let her have a shot.
I'm not saying she'll ever get over the loss of your dad, neither will you..but by finding a new partner; she's learning to live with it, because life goes on.
He'll always have a place in both of your hearts, because he's left such a mark on both of your lives.
I hope this has been of some comfort to you.
Em x

[rhinoseri]

It must be pretty tough for you to adjust to it, but hopefully you start to feel a bit better about it- possibly it's because you've just found out about it. My Aunt died when I was nine, and my Uncle remarried within two years, but my cousins adjusted well. Though, my other Aunt got a divorce about a year ago, my Uncle (he's evil) got married about 2 months afterwards, and my Aunt now has a boyfriend. My cousins aren't very happy about it. They really don't want to have much to do with their Dad and new Step-Mom, and they think that their Mom's new boyfriend is nice, but way too creepy.

[sunshine16]

Yeah, its just so hard. I've been hiding from my mom all day and
whenever she says we should talk about it I run. I can't face it, its
like if I aknowledge it, its true, but if I dont, its not. Its just so
hard...but you guys are a huge comfort. Thanks.

[missbecca]

I remember when my Mother first met who is now her husband five years ago, after her and my father split up. I'll never forget how weird it was to see my Mother with another guy other than my father, especially after she was married to my father for my whole childhood! I remember telling her how weird it was in an appropriate tone (we're a very open family), and she understood completely. Then, I did get used to it.


It's a tough thing, but I know what that's like. However, your circumstances may be different from mine so I apologize in advance if they are....

[sage]

sunshine - how long since your dad died?

[sage]

oops - i should add that my dad died when I was 9, and my mom dated a fellow when I was about 12, and it was very weird...i remember thinking and wondering about it and what it was "all about", but i don't remember panicking or anything, and you sound like this may be invoking a terribly anxious response.


tell me what you think the worst thing is that can happen if your mom has a boyfriend...and play it out to its final conclusion. EG: she will forget my dad....ok, so what's the worst thing that can happen if she does? Etc. Just keep asking that question until the answer is sort of ridiculous...it's a very healing exercise in cognitive therapy that I use with my clients.You may want to give it a try.

[terified girl]

Sage should we do this about everything we feel and experience, not just with emet???

[sage]

sure - the "catasrophizing exercise" is a good one. The idea is to keep going on it until the conclusion is ridiculous. For instance, it might be as simple as this: if I vomit I will die. This, of course, is not true - it's "ridiculous". However we may know full well we won't die. Maybe it's a social-phobia thing...in which case it could look like this:


if I vomit I will be ashamed; everyone will laugh at me and think I'm disgusting; if they do, then they will never speak to me again; I will never be able to go out in public again; it will prove I am worthless, horrible, disgusting and unlovable; if that's true then i'll be all alone my whole life - no one will ever love me; if I'm alone I will die [this last one is usually subconscious, as it stems from childhood - children die if left alone, whereas adults do not]


sometimes once you can see the actual content of your faulty thinking, you can begin to address it. you can change your cognitions by replacing them with others such as this:


if I vomit I will feel ashamed; people may laugh or be disgusted - that is their choice to react this way, and it says more about their lack of compassion than it does about me; i am a worthwhile human being, even if i were to be sick in public, because sometimes people are sick - it is a natural human function and sometimes can't be helped; i will still be worthy of love and joy - of friends and family; it is not the end of the world; i am therefore not in any danger if i were to be sick in public.

[terified girl]

Thanks Sage