Life-changing dream

[e-lizabeth]

Last night I had not one, but two dreams thatI had lung cancer and was more scared of the chemo side effects than of the cancer. I remember thinking at one point that I'd woken up and dreaming that I was trying to talk myself out of feeling the way I felt, but it was still part of the dream. I then woke up, snuggled my baby (who'd been in my bed) and went back to sleep, only to have another variation on the dream. In the dream, when I was ready to go to chemo, I started sobbing about how scared I was. When I finally woke up this morning, I felt resolved that this fear can no longer run my brain the way it has been for the past month. I was doing fine for a long time but post-partum has not been great for me, especially at this time of year. If, g-d forbid, I ever do get cancer, I need to be able to face treatment and do whatever I have to do to get better because I have two small children depending on me and I can't let emetophobia literally ruin my life.


Make sense? Any thoughts?

[skinnyme]

of course it makes sense! This is how we all want to feel~ fearless and to face anything that comes our way!! But you have to feel it and live it at the same time. Trying to talk oneself out of irrational thoughts can help but with me i find it doesnt do any good. I just have to not feel the thoughts in the first place. My husband tries to talk me out of my emet and says its a mind over matter thing. But I cannot try and comfort myself and tell myself that ITS no big deal. I hope that with time things will be better. But just try and be careful about trying to tell yourself things cause usually it just backfires and you can end up feeling weaker on the inside. But yes, I have small kids also and I know I would do what ti takes to stay healthy and alive. Im sure if anyone was godforbid faced with cancer they would definitly face the chemo to stay alive no matter what it took.