I can SO relate to the last part! I'm just getting over a horrible stomach bug (diarrhea & v*). I REALLY didn't want to V*, but when you feel that horrible, I needed to do anything to speed up the healing process. It wasn't that horrible or scary, and I luckily had my hubby home to care for the kiddos, so I could rest all day. However, I still have that fear of how to prepare in case I'm with people. I'm not sure why that's such a big deal for me either! Glad to hear I'm not alone!