Hi i dont think your a bad person because you had an abortion. Especially because of what happened to you. I think you were brave to make a hard decision like that. It wasnt like you got preg under happy circumstances. I had some n* with my son but no v* i got though it by knowing i was going to have a beautiful baby when it was all over. It lasted 17 weeks or so and was gone. Then i gained 40 lbs lol That baby may help you. Mine did. Made me see what i was missing. He loves life and im begining to also. They change you for the better. Good luck!