Freaking out right now

[chrisco79]

I was just reading a post on this forum about someone getting a cat and being nervous about the cat getting sick, when my dog gets sick on my bed. I have no children so my dogs are my world, but when they get sick I go into panic mode. I feel so bad because I was yelling because I was so mad that this happened and of all places my bed as I'm getting ready to go to sleep. My poor dog is so sensitive especially because I spoil her and she never gets yelled at, she's actually a really good dog and does not need to be disciplined often so being yelled at is not something she is used to. The thing that freaks me out the most is that I can't help but think about if this had been my future child who had done this. Would I freak out and yell at the poor kid because they got sick which is traumatizing enough? This is one of the main reasons I have not had children. I'm so afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with them getting sick. My husband was making the situation worse by pointing out how upset I made the dog. Now I'm wide awake going through a panic attack (literally shaking and feeling sick to my stomach) and my poor dog is laying next to me wanting comfort. I'm trying to comfort her but all I can think about is that she might get sick again and every little move she makes is making me jump.

I'm so sick of being this way. My depression has been so bad lately. I am constantly on the verge of crying because living this way has become too much for me. I hardly leave my home anymore because of this and I can no longer eat in restaurants. When I do go somewhere my anxiety is so bad that I don't enjoy it. No one understands and they get upset with me because I don't want to do anything. They have no idea what it's like to think this way every minute of the day. I'm running out of excuses as to why I won't meet up with friends. I actually only have 2 friends left and they are becoming more distant because I'm always canceling plans with them. Some days I feel like just giving up and staying in bed forever. I'm so desperate for a cure for this. It's robbed me of 18 years of my life. I find it hard to find joy in anything anymore. The only time I feel happy is when I'm spending time with my dogs but lately I've become so anxious around them.

Sorry this turned into a pity party. I've just been really feeling overwhelmed by the sadness that this phobia causes. I can't say these things to anyone because they just don't get it.

[olschesky]

sorry your pups are sick....and that you are feeling so frustrated. but i get it.....i know how you feel. have you been to the dr.? sounds like maybe an antidepressant is in order. it will help with the depression and the anxiety.

don't let this stupid phobia win.....keep pushing yourself everyday to get out and do things......it will get easier. i think we all have those "bad times" where it seems hopeless and overwhelming.......but these periods do pass...

hope you get some sleep and have a better day tomorrow

[katherines6]

poor doggy </3i woke up yesterday morning to see that my dog had v*d on my floor. i know how scary it can be! i am a big dog lover too and my dog is so important to me. his name is teddy and he's the sweetest thing ever
the main reason your dog was nervous was most likely because you were nervous. ive noticed that whenever i have a panic attack my dog starts breathing faster and whining because dogs are really sensitive to our feelings. she just wanted you to be calm and don't worry about yelling at her, i can tell that you're a really good doggy mom to her just by reading this, so she trusts you too much to let this incident effect her feelings about you. your dog loves you <3