What's your story?
I have never met any one in real life with the fear of becoming ill, and as such I've been alone in only knowing my own fear. Coming across this site was amazing for me, especially since I found it by simply searching up Emetophobia, and I would love to know how people came across their fear; how they discovered it, how they acknowledged it, how long they've had it...how they get through the day with it.
I'll, of course, put mine as well. I'll try to stuff it into a nutshell.
I've been with this phobia my whole life. Although when I was younger, it was considerably well kept under wraps. I would become nervous if I felt sick, and if I did get sick I would be quite upset, but it was nothing like it would be in later years.
The real big old ticket started right off when I was in grade seven. I was depressed, friendless, and missing my old school. One day I was walking to school and something hit me, a strange feeling in my throat. Afraid I was going to get sick, I rushed back home and called my Mom, who told me that I could stay home for the day then. And from there on, everything just hit the fan.
During the span of a few more months I just became more and more worse, up until the point I couldn't leave my own room without going into a full blown panic attack, chock full of hyperventilation, scratching at my arms, and ripping out my hair with my teeth. Eventually I was hospitalized on the notion that they thought I was afraid of going outside. No one took into consideration that I was fearful of that awful sensation in your stomach.
My Mom and I moved to a different province, in hopes that I would become better in a new place. Didn't work all that well. I was doing fine until I met someone, got in a relationship, and when it crashed my anxiety hit again. I stumbled along the next few years, skipping school continually (at one point I was put into the hospital again for a week or so), until high school where I burned and crashed entirely. The first day of grade 10 I...I didn't get sick but I coughed violently, if everyone knows what I mean. The days after I had to stay home because my nerves were shot to the high heavens, and for those days I couldn't stop coughing. I couldn't leave my room.
I had to quite school.
Now I'm being home schooled and I'm...relatively better now. I am capable of leaving the house. If I am anxious while out, I can calm myself. Anywhere else, including home, I am better at calming myself by doing my mantras, watching Scrubs, or offering my mind some form of relaxation and distraction. It honestly doesn't bother me that much anymore, most certainly not as much as it used to, but there are still those days where...well, let's just say it's one of those days.
I am slowly coming up. I'm afraid I'll never be able to work, if I can't even go to school, but I am gradually coping with this fear. I rarely do any bad habits if I feel a panic attack coming, other than fiddling with my nails, and I have a lot of support and good advice surrounding me.
While here...I hope I can chat with people, maybe give some advice, the advice that helped me come down from a terrible wreck to simply a rather twitchy person.
Naturally, no one has to share their own stories, but...it's still nice to meet everyone here, and it's most definitely nice to be here.
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
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It's a great community for support if you can learn not to take on other people's anxiety as your own. See you around! xx
