Disrespect ( Off Topic)

[catlynn]

Okay, so I was supposed to go shopping with a friend today at 11:00. She calls at 10:45 and asks if we can go at 12:00 instead because she was still in her nightgown. I was a little upset. Then she calls again at 11:45 and says to come over at 12:30 because she was just heading to the shower. She is my neighbor. I said okay, but actually I was pissed and I left and went shopping myself. So after I got home she calls and says that I should have at least called her like most people would. Then I told her that you kept changing the time so I thought fuck it and left. She says okay, bye and hung up!! Maybe I should have called her but I just thought she was not showing me any respect so I was not going to give her any respect either. It seems I always pick the wrong people for friends! If this happened to you, what would you have done?

[cinque]

Hmm, I'm probably the kind of person who would still be in her nightgown at 10.45! I would think that she is a disorganised person. It is a bit inconsiderate but I doubt she was deliberately showing you a lack of respect. She could have been having a bad morning or maybe she's an insomniac and was catching up on sleep or something. But then maybe she's just a bit lazy! I think it would have been friendlier for you to have given her prior warning that you were heading off, but she was a bit rude and I can understand why you were annoyed.

[KaydeeJayde]

I think thats quite rude that you left without her. If I were her I'd have been really upset. At least she gave you notice that she would need to leave later. I'm someone who's chronically early and even I wouldn't have done that. It wasn't like she just let you sit around at her place while she was getting ready, and you said she's your neighbour so it wasn't like you'd already left to pick her up or anything... And changing it twice isn't what I would call "keeping changing the time." I don't think that's disrespectful at all, and I think it'd going a bit far to say that you "always pick the wrong people for friends." Maybe she's just disorganised or she needed the extra sleep or something.

[catlynn]

Kaydee, I understand where you are coming from but, I need to add something to it. I did not want this to be a feel sorry for me but, my husband's is dying and I take care of him myself. His brothers and Dad were in town and they were going to sit with him so I could get out of the house. The plan was for them to come at 11:00 so that is part of the reason I got upset. I had gotten up early so I could shower and get ready before I got my husband up and ready for the day. I am stressed and easily angered. I was looking forward to my get away and I felt she ruined it. You have a right to your opinion but I disagree under my current circumstances. By the way she is a RN so she is fully aware of what I am going thru.

[KaydeeJayde]

Okay, that's fair enough. And I'm sorry I was harsh, it's just that i got a reaction from a friend that upset me when I needed to change a time of something by an hour because I needed to finish an important uni assignment and she just left without me and then yelled at me for the longest time when she got back. I wasn't aware of the situation. In that case, I can understand your being upset, yes. But I still think that even though you really must be stretched to the limit (which I can somewhat understand [please know I'm not trying to say that I completely do because I've never been in the situation], my mother is an RN and has been my whole life, and I hear and pick up things from her all the time) that people do sometimes just need to change things, and it's not intentionally disrespectful, they're just disorganised/things come up/people accidentally sleep in (this is another thing I do sometimes and sometimes is unavoidable). Again, I'm very sorry, I didn't know, and I send my very best wishes.

[out_of_order]

She was wrong to keep changing the time but you were also wrong to just leave without telling her. I'm very sorry about your husband and I can't begin to imagine the kind of stress you're under but do you really need to add this to your plate? Let it go, forgive her, apologize to her for what you did, and focus on the things in life that really matter(ie friends and family) because as you well know, we can lose those things in an instant and when that happens, we won't be thinking, Gee she changed the time on me twice. We'll be thinking wow my friend is gone forever.

[catlynn]

Kaydee I accept your apology.

[kyphie]

I would have called her to let her know I was leaving at the time I planned to leave.

[catlynn]

We both apologized to each other and everything is good. Thanks

[KaydeeJayde]

Glad you both apologised, and that everything is good. That's good to hear