I'm so glad, in a way, to see I'm not alone! I feel so bad that I can't take care of my kids "the right way" when they're sick. I'm trying so hard to be a good mom, but I can't deal with v***. I've gotten better, to the point that I can clean up after them, but I can't hold them or watch and I usually need a glass of wine or two to calm my nerves. I'm dreading the fall/winter season. Last year was my son's first year in school and we were all sick with various bugs for months. I had to deal with d*** twice myself, couldn't eat for days each time. I'm still trying to get over the panic attacks and now school is in again and I'm freaking out. I'm going to try the downloadable program that was suggested on this site a few months ago. I really want to be that mom that can be there for her kids. I want to break this cycle of fear and start enjoying my life a bit more, for my sake and my family's. My husband doesn't know my aversion is really a phobia that I can't control. I want to tell him, but I'm afraid he'll be angry with me, that he won't understand because he doesn't know what it's like. I hope you and your family will get through this unscathed. Just know that you're not alone in your feelings and that they don't make you a bad mom. I have several friends that pawn their kids off on the grandparents when they're sick because they can't handle it. I don't have anyone else to ask for help. I'm grateful to my husband for helping when he can.