So sorry to hear how deep you are in your troubles and sadness. You really need to do something. I'm sure your parents would want to help but you may have reasons not to go to them. This helped me some years ago when I went thru a dark time... Make a list of the possible things you could do that are within the bounds of the possible. Prioritize them - which 3 would you think were best. Discuss these with a trusted friend or leave the list for some days to give you time. Then decide on following the best choice - and it would help if you had a trusted friend "walk beside you" while you work on that.
You may need a therapist or counselor, Or medication, or see a doctor, or talk with a trusted and competent family member or friend. In Australia we have several free phone counselling services, some Christian, some not - would that be a way?
There may also be issues you need to work on that can be cleared away / dealt with / worked or talked thru to give you a better run. Otherwise it's like driving with a flat tire.
Work on it - best wishes for a brighter future.