So it's getting to holiday season (though this happens all year).
My fear is so bad now that I do not want to eat anything that anyone else has prepared because I don't know how they prepared it (washed their hands, etc.) Sometimes I'm not questioned about it, but when it comes to family functions and people are picking from platters or passing food around, I tend to say no thank you. The problem is... I was severely anorexic for 12 years (140 pounds in 1993 and down to 60 pounds in 2004). ANYWAY, people automatically start assuming I am restricting again and start telling my parents or husband that they better watch me. Really?? My husband will use the term "germophobe" and tell people I won't eat anything I did not see cooked.
This sucks! For instance, we are going to a Halloween party tonight at a friend's house (where there will be many teenagers) and I know I won't eat anything because they are not the cleanest people around. And if I do, I will panic for the next 3 days waiting to get sick!
Granted, there are a couple people who know about my emet, I don't feel the need to tell everyone. The conversation would go something like:
Me: I have emetophobia
Them: Emet-what? What the hell is that?
Me: I'm terrified to v*
Them: I don't like to v* either
Me: No, no, you don't understand - I would rather break all of the bones in my body or stick ice picks in my ears than be sick
Them: Really?
Me: (walks away in embarrassment)
Does it make sense to disclose this to people? If do, is there an easier way than to make myself feel like a freak?
Thanks for reading. I really don't have anyone I can talk to about this stuff. My husband does not understand and I don't want to burden him.